We get a recap of the Trios tournament so far along with a recap of Matanza’s reign of terror. Short, sweet, and effective. In his office, Dario tells Fenix he’s lucky he survived his encounter with Matanza. Fenix is the man of endless lives, and Dario is the man of endless opportunities – and he wants to make Aerostar, Drago, and Fenix a team in this year’s Trios tournament as well. But they lost last year, so instead, he will team with PJ Black and Jack Evans. Drago and Aerostar will instead fight over a Gift of the Gods medallion in our opener. Striker and Vamp welcome us to the show, with Vamp in a vintage-style LU shirt and run down the card.
Aerostar vs. Drago
The match begins with a dueling chant, while Drago starts with a half crab and it gets turned into a wacky lucha submission by Aerostar. Quick cradle gets 2 for Aerostar, who goes for a handspring something or other, but eats a flying kick. Aerostar gets tossed into the buckle and hits a corkscrew dive. Drago misses a shoulder charge, while Aerostar missed a dive and smacks the steps. Drago tosses him into the ringside gate, while Vamp says that as a luchador, you need to accept that you could die.
Aerostar hits a flip dive, and Drago responds with a corkscrew dive to the floor. Aero sends Drago back a moment, but misses a springboard dive in the ring. Drago lifts him for a draping DDT and gets 2. Aerostar drops him in the corner and runs around and hops before hitting a corner dropkick. Aerostar goes for his corner-to-corner ropewalk rana, but gets tossed off the top and lands on his feet – only to eat a missile dropkick. A basement dropkick and senton attempt are missed, so they fight on their knees with forearm strikes. Aerostar hits a springboard codebreaker and a springboard saluting splash for the win. This was a blast!
Johnny and Taya are in their room, while Johnny works out and Taya asks if he looks better than he did yesterday. She says she has news from Dario – Mundo wants a medallion, but Dario just won’t give him one. Next week, he’ll have to work for a medallion in a match with Cage. No word on whether or not Cage is a machine, but it’s probably a safe bet. Mundo gets scared when he is told that it will be a cage match – Cage in a Cage. This was amusing. Striker says it’s 4/20 – so see how high we can get in this match.
Jack Evans, PJ Black, and Fenix vs. The Disciples of Death
PJ starts off with the silver-clad Trece. PJ cartwheels into an armdrag and goes for a tag to Jack – but Jack says no, you’re doing too well, keep going. PJ lands a superkick for 2. Fenix hits a rana to send another Disciple out of the ring. Fenix goes for a corkscrew dive off the second rope, and catches his leg in a scary moment – luckily, he was almost able to finish the move without falling too short. PJ has Trese in an abdominal stretch while Jack talks smack, and gets crotched by Sinestro.
The purple-clad Sinestro tags in and attacks in the corner. The gold-clad Barrio Negro tags in for a chop, and then tags Trece back in. PJ tags Fenix in and he lands some kicks and a standing moonsault to the back. C4 armdrag hits for 2. Sinestro charges in and eats a thrust kick before nailing a basement dropkick. Sinestro lands a spike DDT for 2. Jack tags in and avoids things with flips before busting out some kung fu fighting. Vamp says that he wants some of whatever Jack smokes. Fenix comes in and lands a pop-up double dropkick. Barrio Negro eats a rana for 2. Fenix hits a big pop-up rana before PJ’s springboard 450 gets 2. They toss one disciple onto the other on the floor while arguing and PJ hits a flip dive while Fenix tags himself in. Jack jumps in in and then hits a variety of flip dives, but Fenix wins with a dive off his own. Striker hypes up the win and says that Mil Muertes vs. Matanza is next.
Dario talks to Havoc, Ivelisse, and Angelico about how much they’ve grown in a year. Dario tells them that this tournament isn’t for a title shot – it’s for their titles. As champions, they have a bye to the finals and will have a match against three teams next week. They run through team names before Dario tells them to leave. In the locker room, the Disciples of Death materialize out of lightning and Catrina tells them they failed. Moreover, Fenix got the win and she is even more pissed at that. She wants a reason to not destroy them – so Sinestro pulls out the beating hearts of his partners as lightning went off around them. So yeah, Sinestro just ripped out the electrified hearts of his former partners. This was awesome!
Lucha Underground Champion Mil Muertes vs. Matanza Cueto
Vamp hypes this up as a monster vs. monster match and asks about the significance of the key. Dario yells words of encouragement to Matanza and Vamp translates them to mean that if he doesn’t win tonight, it’s over for them. Mil starts off strong by whooping him and beating him to his belly. Mil goes to toss him out, but it’s reversed and he is tossed into the ropes and eats a Clothesline from Hell. Mil hits a snap powerslam and lands some mounted punches.
Matanza grabs him in a double-arm choke and does some corner shoulder charges, but Mil lands a kick and some punches. Mil Biels him into the buckle and lands 10 straight lariats! Mil runs into the boot a few times – stop doing that, you moron. Wrath of the Gods gutwrenches land, but Mil avoids a rope lariat and sends Matanza over the top with a sick hiptoss. A suicide dive gives Mil a huge edge as he throttles Dario. Matanza saves his brother, who takes a big bump on the floor.
They fight on the announce table, and Catrina hits Matanza with the stone. Matanza throttles her, but Mil chairshots him on the back. They fight over a post shot, and Matanza wins that war. Steel can to the head and back of Matanza. Matanza grabs it and beats him with it. They fight to the office ceiling and Mil tries to toss him off. Dario looks like he’s in absolute shock, as do the fans. FLATLINER THROUGH THE OFFICE CEILING gets a holy shit chant. Dario needs to hire contractors that don’t cut perfectly-shaped holes into his ceiling.
Sleazy ’70s porno music plays and takes us to the precinct, where we don’t see Officer Meehan – but do see a deceased poster for Bael and a new character is introduced. A councilman comes in and tells Marie it’s a good idea to drop the case against Dario so they can focus on someone more powerful. It’s just friendly advice though, and not a threat in any way. This was a good start to a new chapter in the “cops are after Dario” story, so presumably, he has friends in high places, and unlike Dixie Carter’s character, probably won’t lose a case with a judge in his back pocket. Very fun episode of the show, and I’m looking forward to seeing where all this cop stuff goes.
To see every screenshot for the show, just click here.
The Big News: I paid my F4WOnline bills, so this NXT report is not 51% owned by Ron & Don Harris.
The Medium News: Samoa Joe sent Apollo Crews packing to Raw with a submission loss
The Little Beaver Sized News: No Way Jose debuted!
****************
It is our second week at WrestleMania Axxess. I do think it’s funny that they acknowledge that they are at Axxess, but do commentary like it’s live.
****************
NXT Tag Team Champions American Alpha defeated Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady
We kick things off with the new NXT Tag Team Champions going 2 on 2 with the men who may be the next #1 Contender’s to the WWE Tag Team Championship. This match was set up last week when both teams noted they never faced off and this was their only chance to sports entertain with Enzo and Cass on Raw.
The fans were more excited for this than almost anything last week, chanting “This is awesome” before the bell even sounded. The champs schooled Enzo and had no problem tossing the little guy around, however they had a harder time when it came to Big Cass.
They didn’t show Colin in the ring at first. He tagged in, they went to commercial and then Enzo tagged back in within 5 seconds of coming back. Not sure if something got messed up or if it’s just one of those things. Enzo and Colin were the heels of the match, getting the heat on Gable. Gable, in case I haven’t said it in the last 3 weeks, is an excellent baby face in peril and Jordan makes a terrific comeback, which makes this team as great as they are.
Jordan got the hot tag and man oh man, Matty, can Jason Jordan throw Enzo Amore around. If you told me Enzo didn’t have to help out much, I would believe you. Anyhoo the champs won with Grand Amplitude.
****************
Apollo Crews doesn’t like bullies and will beat up Samoa Joe tonight.
****************
No Way Jose pinned Alexander Wolfe
This is the NXT tv debut of both No Way Jose and Alexander Wolfe. Wolfe was one of the people in the Dusty Rhodes Classic whose match never aired on tv. No Way Jose is already popular with the people, even if he has a really weird name.
This match was fun to watch. Jose used an Airplane Spin that just went on and on and on. The fans, despite not knowing the man, sang the Ole song, but sang Jose instead of Ole. Jose won with a punch to the face that he wound up like he was a pitcher throwing a fastball.
****************
Austin Aries said he doesn’t believe in luck, but Baron Corbin is entitled to his opinion about why he lost. Aries doesn’t need luck, he has skill. Aries challenged him and everyone in the NXT locker room.
****************
Elias Sampson was tuning his guitar when William Regal walked up and said he’s here to offer Elias an opportunity. Next week he’ll go one on one with Shinsuke Nakamura. He didn’t seem pleased.
****************
Nia Jax squashed Deonna Purrazzo
Please change Deonna Purrazzo’s name. It helps that seemingly every time she wrestles she gets killed, so I don’t have to spend too much time writing her name.
This was all Nia and she won very quickly with a leg drop. Seriously Deonna’s only attempted offense saw her be swatted away like a fly.
****************
Bayley was asked about the Eva Marie-Asuka match next week. I am shocked Eva was able to survive and make it to WrestleMania. Anyway she did analysis previewing the match and said she will be watching since she wants her belt back.
****************
Samoa Joe submitted Apollo Crews
Main event time! They keep mentioning Joe and Finn Balor, so I guess that feud is still going on. Finn is now the longest reigning NXT Champion of all time, surpassing Adrian Neville. Not putting anything past Apollo Crews, but it’s weird that he’s the one on the main roster and Samoa Joe is still in developmental.
This was a good match, nothing great, but good. Honestly this is a match you’d expect the two of them to have at a house show, which, by the way, is still better than a lot of people. Joe kicked out of the Standing Moonsault and Crews kicked out of a power slam. Honestly the only time I ever remember Joe winning with the power slam is Slammiversary 2006 against Scott Steiner.
Joe blocked the spinning power bomb and dropped Crews with the corner uranage before choking Crews out with the Coquina Clutch.
So it’s a quick show this week, ending at 8:49 (as opposed to 8:55), but what is next for the NXT superstars? Only one way to find out, until next week make sure to say your vitamins and take your prayers!
Tonight’s Raw from London will once again have Shane McMahon in charge. At this rate, he will surpass Bud Selig’s record as longest interim authority figure in history. However, the string of good Raws will likely continue. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn will continue their program, and so will Chris Jericho-Dean Ambrose. The semifinals of the #1 Contenders tag team tournament feature the Usos vs. the Vaudevillians and Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. the Dudley Boyz, which has been teased ever since WrestleMania. The WWE website is also teasing a potential Emma vs. Becky Lynch program.
Our coverage starts at 8 ET.
The Big Takeaway: A show that dragged at points that was full of wrestling. The #1 contender tag team tournament will feature the Vaudevillains vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass in an NXT final. Only storyline news was the acknowledgement of a relationship between A.J. Styles, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows from New Japan Pro Wrestling (simply referred to as New Japan on the broadcast, because we can’t be having pro wrestling mentioned on our pro wrestling show). Anderson and Gallows jumped Roman Reigns after Styles confronted Reigns in an another interview segment where Reigns was heavily booed. Styles denied any knowledge that Anderson and Gallows were going to jump him, but Reigns didn’t believe it.
Show Recap:
Dean Ambrose came out for the first full-length edition of the Ambrose Asylum. He told a joke about a large monster being discovered in the Thames River and said he didn’t know Braun Strowman could swim. CBS late night talk show host James Corden’s parents were at ringside, who Ambrose introduce a nice response. Then he brought out Shane McMahon to a big reaction. He told Shane to have a seat, but since the set didn’t include chairs, they stood.
They replayed the clip of Shane jumping off the Hell in a Cell onto the table against the Undertaker. They showed an angle that showed how gimmicked the table really was. Ambrose still put over the stunt as something even he wondered “What was Shane thinking?” Ambrose asked Shane what his agenda was. Shane said the fans were on his mind because he was giving stars a chance who, ordinarily, would never get a chance. He mentioned Sami Zayn, A.J. Styles and Sasha Banks.
Kevin Owens interrupted him. Owens said he’s been watching the same old crap he’s seen for years: a McMahon filled with power with a vendetta against him. Shane denied that. Owens asked why did he remove him from the building last week? Shane said because he threatened to go after Zayn before his match with Styles. Owens said he was being honest and Zayn didn’t deserve to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Zayn came out with the crowd singing his theme song before he could start his promo. Zayn said Owens was riding his coattails because he was signed by the WWE before Owens. That’s why Owens attacked him in NXT. But they both knew Owens would have never ended up in the WWE without him. Crowd had a mixed reaction for that.
Then Chris Jericho showed up. So do the 20-minute opening segment. Jericho told Zayn there were bigger issues than his emotions. Jericho told Shane he was drunk with power, and he never liked Shane. Jericho told Shane to remember he was the best in the world at what he does, which included hosting the greatest WWE talk show of all time “The Highlight Reel.” Shane said the new generation was about new opportunities, which is why they had the Highlight Reel. Shane got in a plug for the WWE Network. They all started arguing, and Ambrose yelled at everyone to be careful around his plant. Shane ordered Jericho to face Ambrose at Payback, along with Owens vs. Zayn. Shane left the ring and Ambrose handed him the plant. It wound up as a four-way brawl where Zayn and Ambrose cleaned house quickly.
It was announced that Shane had ordered Ambrose vs. Owens as the main event.
Chris Jericho defeated Sami Zayn (12:47)
Jericho won after thumbing Zayn in the eye while referee Charles Robinson tried to break them up in the corner, followed by a codebreaker. Good match. Jericho applied the Walls of Jericho, but Zayn made the ropes. Zayn later did his spot where he dove through two sets of ropes into a tornado DDT on the floor. Zayn hit his Blue Thunder bomb for a near fall. Consecutive jobs for Zayn isn’t helping him burst out of the gates early.
Mauro Ranallo made his Raw debut doing a backstage interview with Styles. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows showed up and Styles greeted them like they were old pals. It was stange to see Anderson and Gallows treated like babyfaces when they basically made a heel debut last week attacking the Usos. Anderson said he had been trying to get in the WWE for years. They laughed together and left to catch up on old times. Michael Cole mentioned that Styles, Anderson and Gallows were old friends from New Japan.
Enzo Amore and Big Cass came out. Fans chanted Amore’s name to the tune of “Seven Nation Army” again. Amore had a riddle. There is “hell” in “hello.” There is “end” in “friend.” And there is “Dud” in “Dudley.” Amore said the Dudleyz were a couple of duds. Amore says he and Cass were A cups because they were real whether anyone liked them or not.
Enzo & Cass defeated the Dudley Boyz to advance to the finals of the WWE #1 Contenders Tag Team Tournament (8:33)
Enzo pinned Bubba Ray Dudley after a Rocket Launcher. Bubba Ray accidentally hit Devon Dudley with a forearm before the finish after Cass got the hot tag. Cass hit the Empire Elbow and big boot after the hot tag. Match was fine and the announcers put over Enzo & Cass winning as a major one.
Roman Reigns came out. The crowd reactions just get worse. They weren’t chanting “Lou,” they were booing. And Reigns did the exact same opening line he’s given over the past two weeks about being “the guy.” Reigns put over Styles, who got a minor chant. Reigns said this was the era of the Roman Empire, which got jeers and boring chants.
Styles came out. Crowd liked him, but it wasn’t an overwhelming reaction or anything. They sure like him better than Reigns, without a doubt. Styles put over Reigns as being “one heck of a champion.” He had power, explosiveness and quickness. Styles admitted he would have to have the match of his life in order to beat Reigns, but having the match of his life is what he does. Having the match of his life is what’s made him a champion everywhere he’s been, and it’s what is going to make him champion at Payback.
Reigns said he had the match of his life at WrestleMania. He admits the whole world like Styles, but they won’t like it when he beats Styles at Payback. But they will respect him. Reigns said he would rather be respected as WWE champion and that liked without it. Styles said he wants to be liked and respected, because that’s what is going to make him a phenomenal WWE Champion.
Styles left, but Anderson and Gallows ran out of the crowd to jump Reigns. Placed popped big when Gallows kicked Reigns while he was on Anderson’s shoulders. Styles watched on and looked disappointed when his friends jumped Reigns.
First thing we saw after the break was Regins walking backstage, not selling a thng. Styles told Reigns he didn’t know that was going to happen. Reigns didn’t buy any of that, reminding Styles that Anderson and Gallows’ jumped his cousins, the Usos, next week. Reigns told Styles to bring all of his friends, because he would withstand them all. He muttered one vs. all.
Baron Corbin defeated Fandango (1:21)
Baron Corbin won with the End of Days in a squash. Dolph Ziggler was at ringside doing commentary. Corbin threw Fandango into Ziggler before the finish. Ziggler jumped Corbin afterwards, only to have Corbin give him the End of Days on the floor.
Maryse and the Miz walked backstage. Maryze found spilt coffee on their way and demanded a stage manager place his jacket over it so they could walk over the stain.
Another Greetings of Puerto Rico vignette from whatever the Primo and Epico will be called in this new gimmick. They put over Puerto Rico beaches.
MizTV started with the photo of Prince Charles, saying you would never know it’s royalty. Miz said his baby was like royalty. They started making out when Cesaro came out. Lots of Cesaro Section signs to be seen as Cesaro said the only royalty Miz knew was how to be a royal pain in the ass. Miz said he was the one with a starring role but Cesaro was just as supporting actor. Crowd chanted “boring.” Miz claimed he prepared a monologue taken from the movie “Taken.” It was orginally delivered by Liam Nesson. Miz got on his cell phone and acted out a scene that was supposed to be in Cesaro’s words, and sounded like it was taken straight from every one of Neeson’s films over the past 10 years.
Cesaro put his hands over Miz’s mouth and said “When my hand goes up, your mouth goes shut.” Cesaro said he would becoming the Intercontinental Champion at Payback, and since Miz likes movie quotes, he quoted Roddy Piper from “They Live.” Cesaro mentioned it was Piper’s birthday last week. He gave the famous “I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum” line. Miz teased a fight with Cesaro, but Miz said Cesaro had a match with Rusev.
Cesaro said he talked with Shane earlier in the day and said there wouldn’t be a singles match. Instead, it would be the League of Nations and Miz vs. Cesaro. Then Cesaro stripped off his suit to reveal a New Day t-shirt, and the New Day came out for the 8-man tag.
The New Day & Cesaro defeated the League of Nations & the Miz (13:27)
If you looked at this match for 30 seconds, you might have thought the hot blonde at ringside was Lana. But it was Maryse. Anyway, Cesaro pinned Sheamus after the Gotch Neutralizer after the usual spots where guys did their finishers on each other. Cesaro teased the Cesaro Swing on Sheamus, but Alberto Del Rio stopped him. Xavier Woods got the heat. Crowd lost interest about midway through.
Charlotte did an interview with Ranallo. They showed a replay from last week where Ric Flair helped Charlotte retain the title against Natalya. This led to Natalya walking in and saying Shane had granted her a rematch against Charlotte for the WWE Women’s Championship, and she would have Bret Hart in her corner. Charlotte and Ric didn’t look happy at all over that.
They announced that E! would start airing a Total Divas spinoff called Total Bellas, featuring Nikki and Brie Bella, Daniel Bryan, John Cena and John Laurinaitis.
Natalya, Paige, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch defeated Naomi, Summer Rae, Tamina and Charlotte via submission ( 10:25)
Natalya made Charlotte tap out to the sharpshooter. Classic New Japan booking where the challenger wins over the champion in a tag match before the title match. Becky Lynch was kicked hard on the floor by Tamina to set up the hot tag. Crowd liked the match, which dragged at points. Well executed hot tag sequence by Natalya on Summer Rae, which included a slingshot atmoic drop, then stepping over Rae’s back into a seated drop kick.
Styles was shown talking to Anderson and Gallows. Since there was no audio, you couldn’t tell what he was saying. It was vague because he didn’t look
More from the Puerto Rico guys. They’re surrounded by history and they walked past Ponce De Leon’s house. Is walking past the Fountain of Youth supposed to get them heat?
The Vaudevillains defeated the Usos in the semifinals of the WWE #1 Contenders Tag Team Tournament (3:25)
Simon Gotch pinned Jey Uso after the Whirling Dervish. They were doing hot tags within two minutes, which was just as well because the crowd was dead. Jey had his right shoulder taped selling the beating by Anderson and Gallows from last week. He did a tope on Gotch, but starting selling his shoulder. Aiden English rammed Jey’s shoulder into the post. Fans weren’t into the Vaudevillains at all, so the decision on who goes over in the tournament final should be easy.
Apollo Crews defeated Heath Slater (4:29)
There was actually a stipulation to this match. If Apollo Crews won, he had to join Social Outcasts. They did a skit on the Raw preshow where Heath Slater, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas tried to get him to join their group. There was no Adam Rose, nor any mention of him. Slater actually got a near fall reversing a crossbody before Crews won with the Spin-Out Powerbomb.
On his way to the back, Crews crossed paths with Owens. They shared a brief glare before Crews went to gorilla.
Dean Ambrose defeated Kevin Owens (17:15)
The highlight of the show. Ambrose won with Dirty Deeds after Owens got Ambrose’s knees to the gut going for the frog splash, then missed a cannonball. Early on, the match was a brawl. Each man threw the other into the announcer’s table. Highlights after the commercial break included Owens giving Ambrose a frog splash off the apron to the floor, followed by a successful cannonball. Ambrose attempted his elbow off the top rope, but Owens rolled out of the ring, so Ambrose hit Owens with a plancha. The two fought on the top rope before Owens caught the Super Fisherman’s Buster for a really good near fall, which got the crowd to chant “This is Awesome.”
Afterwards, Jericho ran in and gave Ambrose a codebreaker.
SUMMARY: Your usual taped Raw. Beginning and the end were very good. There was a lull in the middle. Only real takeaway as far as how Reigns is concerned is to compare with how Daniel Bryan was booked two years ago. Of course, Reigns is far from over in the fans’ eyes, but at least he’s booked as being smart. He’s suspicious of Styles after being jumped by two of Styles’ friends. In the months after winning the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Bryan was constantly being outsmarted by Kane, looking every bit as dumb as any Friday the 13th victim that got beheaded by Jason Vorhees. It goes to show you when Vince McMahon has his heart behind someone, he’s going full throttle. If he isn’t, even the most promising of prospects job to HHH for no reason.
Kalisto def. Heath Slater w/ Social Outcasts by pinfall
The obligatory terrible pre-match promo centres around Bo calling Kalisto “sugar face”. Yeah, I have no earthly idea why that’s supposed to be funny either.
Rich Brennan mentions that Kalisto was “banged up” on RAW, but apparently it’s feasible to recover from “minor whiplash” in 24 hours. The match was about what you’d expect from these two; exciting when Kalisto was on offence and stultifyingly dull during the heat.
Kalisto hit his usual comeback sequence, before finishing a needlessly long 11 minute match with a Salida Del Sol. The US Champion used an interfering Curtis Axel for leverage in a repeat of the finish from his match against Bo Dallas on last week’s Superstars. Way to go, creative.
– We return from the second commercial break with the defeated Outcasts still in the ring, squabbling amongst themselves. Bo breaks it up by recommending that they take their frustration out on the next man that walks to the ring. That man is Apollo Crews.
Apollo Crews def. Bo Dallas by pinfall
Crews enters to one of CFO$’ better recent entrance theme efforts, a tune that seems to fit his buoyant personality perfectly. I was tempted to say it fits his character perfectly, but he doesn’t really have one; hence the nickname ‘Smiley Black Man’ that he enjoys in this household, which helpfully marks out his only three defining characteristics.
Crews, like Kalisto, is another athletic babyface that is doomed to cycle through the Social Outcasts at the minute. He adds to his recent victories over Axel and Adam Rose by putting away Bo Dallas in a three minute squash here, finishing him with the spinning sitout powerbomb deal.
Kevin Owens def. Dolph Ziggler by pinfall
Well now, this was something to behold; unquestionably the best match that this show has produced since I started covering it last year. Owens put on a heel clinic here, with the majority of the bout focused on burnishing his new self-gifted “headlock master” moniker.
A string of Owens side headlocks kicked us off, with the former IC champion desperate to convince the referee that Dolph was conceding defeat: “He said yes, I heard him!”. Owens’ attention then turned to the old reliable reverse chinlock, with one application of the hold engaged after running the ropes to fool the fans into expecting action (Owens: “This is my new thing!”).
Ziggler eventually fought up from one of these with a back suplex (Owens: “He broke my headlock!”), before commencing a hot comeback that the crowd very much went with. Owens cut him off with a boot to the chin, before hitting a massive frog splash from the top rope for two. The former Mr. Steen roared at Jerry Lawler to tell the ref that was three, to which The King shouted back: “I agree!”.
Owens signaled for his finish, but Ziggler leaped over his shoulders instead and planted him with a superkick for an excellent nearfall that everybody (including me) bit on. This prompted the lesser-heard “This is awesome!” chant from the watching San Diego crowd.
That led us into the finish, with Owens kicking out of a schoolboy before catching a frantic Ziggler on the rebound with the Pop-Up Powerbomb for the win.
After the bell, the always insecure bully heel ran to the announce desk to shout the odds at Rich Brennan, before stealing his phone to teach him a lesson! Hilarious.
Final Thoughts
What an absolutely amazing heel performer this company possesses in Kevin Owens. The fact that they prefer to use their anointed top babyface as a tweener rather than feature the best natural bad guy at their disposal makes no sense to me. Every heel in the business should sit down and watch what this guy did with restholds for 16 minutes here. And the little nuances he adds to his character – like the need for praise from babyface announcers – are something that very few others can bring to the table either. Watch this match and skip the Social Outcasts tripe.
The show starts with a recap of the Gift of the Gods Title’s concept and its lineage. The Mundo-Cage rivalry is recapped, as is Matanza’s title win. Dario meets with Mundo, Taya, and Cage and asks them to behave so he doesn’t have to fix his window again. Dario says he has a new trios tournament and Mundo says you want us to team, while Cage wants to fight Mundo.
Dario disagrees and says he likes his idea better, so we’re going to go with that since they all want gold. Hilarious bit where Cage says “I’m not a man…” and Dario replies “you’re a machine, I know…just win the tournament!” Robert Rodriguez’s band plays us in once again while Argenis is mid-ring to face Killshot.
Killshot vs. Argenis
Killshot debuts a new camo vest and puts dog tags in the corner before a prayer. Striker says we’ll get a different Killshot – so he should win a time or two this year. Big chop in the corner by Killshot before he throws him into each corner and does it again. A backbreaker gets 2. Pinwheel armdrag by Argenis leads to a top rope palm strike by him as well. Killshot sends him to the floor and hits a flip dive. Somersault cutter hits and gets 2 for Killshot. Striker’s editing goes into detail about how Killshot told him he was in the military, but didn’t go into it. C4 armdrag
by Argenis gets 2. Powerbomb into a corkscrew brainbuster by Killshot leads to a Cro Cop kick and a double stomp off the top. In an odd move, Striker’s then-live commentary wonders if he’s had military training – exposing the editing. Modified spiking Michinoku driver wins for Killshot.
Black Lotus tells Dragon Azteca Jr that Matanza killed Dragon Azteca, but that she had no choice but to help Dario and plans to stay close to him. Dario meets with Daga and asks him what he sees with the medallions. Daga says they’re coins, but is correct and told that they’re the Gift of the Gods. Dario says that tonight, Daga will face the most violent man without the last name Cueto – Texano.
Daga vs. Texano
Vamp tells us that Daga excels at shoot style while Texano’s family history is gone over. Daga backs him into the ropes and slaps him before flipping back. Legsweep and tumble exchange gets them back on even ground. A shoulder tackle by Daga is no-sold and met with a big slap. Texano rolls through a sunset flip and gets 2 off a buzzsaw kick. Texano chops and lariats him to death in the corner.
A Stinger splash misses and Daga lands a superkick. Daga gets crotched and dropkicked off the top rope to the floor. Daga kicks him on the apron and hits a corkscrew dive. Daga dominates him on the floor and rolls in to break the count before slamming Texano into the announce table.
Texano hits a running forearm in the corner and lands an outside-in dropkick to the chest for 2. Daga kicks his face and slaps him arrogantly before a forearm exchange breaks out mid-ring. Texano superkicks him, but eats a huge dropkick. Super leg lariat hits for Texano, but only gets 2. Texano goes for the powerbomb, but a Daga rana gets 2. Texano lariats him into a Fatu sell and goes for a German, but it’s countered into an ankle lock. Texano shoves him off and hits a monkey flip, with the sitout powerbomb getting the win for Texano.
In a room full of scented candles, Mil Muertes and Catrina talk. She summons the Disciples of Death out of thin air and asks for forgiveness. Catrina says they are in the Trios Title tournament and Mil will be Lucha Underground Champion again. Matanza is greater than any challenge he has yet faced – including the earthquake that made him. Mil roars in anger. Rey comes down with red and gold gear, while Puma has his usual stuff on and Dragon Azteca Jr. has a weird snake/dragon headdress on. Cage shoves them away in the entrance area.
Rey Mysterio Jr, Prince Puma, and Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Johnny Mundo, Taya, and Cage
Cage starts with Azteca and locks a headlock before nixing that and hitting a shoulderblock. Azteca avoids a corner charge with flips and a big armdrag. Double rollthrough to avoid the discus lariat and he tags in Puma. Striker’s edited voice clip talks about the history between Mundo and Puma. Handspring headscissors takes Mundo down, but a Taya distraction leads to a Moonlight Drive and 2. Taya comes in and hits a flying elbow in the corner before kicking Puma in the face. Striker’s edited voice runs through her history on the company.
Mundo lands some elbows to Puma while the ref is distracted. Shotgun knees to the face gets a 2 count. Cage tags in and goes for a pumphandle suplex, but it’s flipped out of – so a Doctor Bomb hits and gets 2. Standing moonsault gets 2 for Cage. Cage slaps Mundo in, so he’s legal now.
Taya and Mundo stomp away at Puma in the corner. They stop this and try to prevent a tag. Mundo trips Rey, but Azteca comes in and hits a rana for 2. Azteca tags Rey in and he hits the flying seated senton and then the wheelbarrow arndrag. Rey hits a spinning headscissors on Mundo, knocking him into Taya for a double 619, but it’s avoided. Dives aplenty by Puma and Azteca! Springboard crossbody by Rey gets 2 on Mundo. Rollthrough on a sunset filp leads to a seated dropkick and a 2 count for Rey. Magic Killer by Mundo and Taya gets 2 thanks to a Puma save. Cage comes in and lariats both Puma and Azteca into flips.
Cage goes for a moonsault, but gets stopped by Mundo. Mundo eats a big rana off the top and an SSP by Puma gets 2. Mundo hits a standing C4, but eats a kneeling superkick. Cage catches Rey on a rana and throws him into Taya in the corner. He has Azteca on his shoulders, and catches a flying Puma for a combo fallaway slam for 2. Rey hits a flipover headscissors and the 619, while Azteca hits a flying corkscrew DDT. 630 senton hits Mundo for the win! That was the best trios match all season. This was all-action and a ton of fun.
Dario tells Matanza that he will have his toughest match to date next week against Mil Muertes. Dario tells him that he is in the cage because he is a valuable asset, and you have to protect your valuables – and no one understands the beauty in his destruction like Dario does. Matanza shakes the cage in anticipation – well, that was a unique buildup to a world title match.
Last week on Impact, Drew Galloway retained the TNA World title in a hard fought battle with former champion Matt Hardy. Enticing the crowd, Ethan Carter III and “The Destroyer” Lashley had another staredown that ended with Lashley backing off.
Tonight:
For the first time ever, “Miracle” Mike Bennett takes on Ethan Carter III. TNA has been slowly building to this match since Bennett’s debut, which was also Impact’s debut on Pop TV. Additionally, TNA Tag Team champions Beer Money issued an open challenge to any and all tag teams for tonight.
Show Recap:
Matt Hardy’s music kicks the night off as Josh Matthews welcomes us to the show. The Pope is back on commentary after suffering a beating at the hands of Lashley last week.
Matt, Tyrus, Rockstar Spud, the beautiful Reby Sky and her little rascal, Maxell stand in the ring. Matt looks pretty snappy in his suit tonight. He talks about all the hard work he’s put into his career, and he feels he’s built a great legacy for the last name “Hardy”. He claims Jeff is ruining all of that and tarnishing their last name.
Jeff comes out to the ring. Josh mentions that Matt has always lived in Jeff’s shadow and he’s bitter about that. Basically, Matt wants Jeff gone and wants him to stop using the last name “Hardy”. Matt suggests that Jeff should change his name to “Creature” or “Willow”. This prompts Matt to challenge Jeff to match, but Jeff won’t fight his brother. The crowd chants, “Jeff is better.” After a little more pressure from Matt, Jeff finally accepts and we have a faceoff.
– Beer Money makes their way down to the ring for their open challenge. James Storm roars into the ring on the Boozer Cruiser… again.
TNA Tag Team champions Beer Money (Bobby Roode & James Storm) vs. Decay (Crazzy Steve & Abyss) w/ Rosemary vs. Eric Young & Bram vs. The BroMans (Robbie E & Jesse Godderz)
Back from commercial, The BroMans, Decay and Eric Young, and Bram accept Beer Money’s open challenge. The match starts with a wild brawl with all eight guys fighting in and around the ring.
In a hilarious spot, James Storm got on the Cruiser and rode it around the ring in a complete circle until he collided with Bram. The BroMans take over and start clearing the ring. Surprisingly, Jesse Godderz hit some impressive moves, including jumping up and hitting a hurricanrana off the top of the ropes onto Crazzy Steve. Robbie E. hit a dive to the outside taking out everyone on the floor. EY and Bram had yet another miscommunication causing EY to accidently hit Bram. EY turned around and ate a superkick from Storm. Beer Money picks up the win and retains their titles.
– Backstage, Matt reveals to Jeff that their match is set for next week. Matt wants the match to be an ‘I Quit Match.” Jeff challenges Matt and Tyrus to tag match for later. The winning team gets to pick the stipulation for next week. Either an “I Quit Match” or a “Full Metal Mayhem”.
– Back from commercial, somebody jumped Eddie Edwards backstage but Eddie didn’t see who did it. Josh reveals that Eddie is scheduled to challenge Trevor Lee for the X Division title.
– “The First Lady of Pro Wrestling” Maria Kanellis comes to the ring and says she saved the Knockouts Division by getting the title off of Gail Kim. Maria claims to be the boss and leader of the Knockouts. Maria brings out “her Knockouts Champion” Jade. She says that Jade is champion because of her and Jade owes her. Therefore, Maria wants Jade to hand her the belt, but Jade refuses. #byefelicia
Gail Kim Interrupts. The Dollhouse and The Beautiful People all come out as well. Basically, they don’t like Maria and everyone wants to be in charge. Billy Corgan comes out and announces Jade will defend the title against Madison Rayne. He also announces that next week all the Knockouts will battle it out and the winner will become the leader of the Knockouts Division.
– Backstage, EC3 promises to teach Mike Bennett a lesson tonight that someone should have taught him long ago.
– Back from commercial, Eric Young and Bram are backstage arguing. EY is upset about the constant miscommunication. EY has the King of The Mountain title with him and tells Bram to make things right.
TNA X-Division champion Trevor Lee w/ Shane Helms vs. DJ Z
Edwards is injured from the mysterious attack which took place earlier, so he’s out of the title match. DJ Z comes out to fill the vacant spot in a non-title match. He’s on fire to start the match by hitting a sweet dive to the outside. On commentary, Pope speculates that Helms and Lee might have had something to the with Eddie’s attack from earlier.
They have a really good match with DJ Z getting in some really cool offense. DJ Z had the match won, but Shane distracted the referee. Lee got the advantage and set up for his finish but DJ Z rolls him up for the surprise win. Post-match, Shane and Lee went to beat down DJ Z, but Edwards ran out for the save.
– Backstage, Jeff Hardy reveals his partner for tonight is TNA World Champion Drew Galloway, making it Matt and Tyrus vs. Jeff and Drew.
“Miracle” Mike Bennett w/Maria Kanellis vs. Ethan Carter III
As EC3 makes his way to the ring, Josh reminds us that he has never been pinned or submitted. EC3 dominated the early moments of the match. Bennett got the brief advantage after Maria distracted EC3. EC3 regained control and back dropped Bennett to the outside then gave him a sick suplex on the ramp. Bennett took back over and slowed the pace of the match down.
EC3 made a fiery comeback by hitting his version of the Stinger Splash which Josh called the EC3 Splash. EC3 hits the TKO and had the match won, but Maria put Bennett’s leg on the bottom rope to break up the pin. He chases Maria around the ring, which gave Bennett the chance to hit the ace crusher. Bennett grabs a chair, but EC3 ducks and locks on a submission. Earl tries to get the chair out of the ring, but Maria grabs it. While this is going on Bennett taps out, which the referee doesn’t see. EC3 grabs the chair and beats Bennett with it, getting disqualified.
– We get a recap of Al Snow attacking Mahabali Shera and Grado two weeks ago.
– Backstage, Al Snow apologizes for his actions and breaking Grado’s arm. He reminds us that he’s been suspended without pay. He’s going to the ring to call out Mahabali Shera to give a public apology.
Snow is in the ring and calls Shera out to apologize. Shera is full of passion and anger as he professes his urge to knockout Al, but Al wants him to listen first. Al mentions that he’s 53 and has been doing this since he was 18. He gets a nice reaction from the crowd for that.
Al says everyone tells him wrestling is passing him by. He becomes intensely emotional, especially when talking about how difficult wrestling had been early in his career. Al promises to pay for Grado’s medical bills and wants to help Shera accomplish his dream of becoming World Champion. Al apologizes and they embrace. As they leave, Al jumps Shera and viciously beats him down. Al was great in his role and was so good that despite being the heel, the crowd chanted, “You’ve still go it” after he backstabbed Shera.
– In the back, Snow gives a passionate speech about wrestling not changing, and how he’s disgusted that a “fat turd” like Grado is in TNA.
TNA Knockouts champion Jade vs. Madison Rayne
As the match gets started, Josh announces that next week all the Knockouts will face off in a ladder match for control of the Knockouts. They explain that whomever wins will have the authority to make matches and grant title shots. Jade is in control of the match and dominates the action. Josh says that Jade reminds him of Ronda Rousey because they’re both hard hitting. Madison takes the lead for a brief moment, but it’s not enough as Jade picks up the win and retains her title.
TNA Champion Drew Galloway & Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy & Tyrus w/Rockstar Spud & Reby Sky
As the competitors make their way to the ring Josh reminds us what’s at stake. If Matt and Tyrus win, next week’s match between Matt and Jeff will be an “I Quit” Match. If Jeff and Drew win, the match will be “Full Metal Mayhem”.
Matt teases starting the match with Jeff, but he quickly tags out to Tyrus. Jeff and Drew use some of the old Hardy Boys double team moves to gain control of the match, and they clear the ring.
Tyrus and Matt get the advantage and isolate Drew in their corner. Drew makes the hot tag to Jeff who runs wild and takes out Tyrus. Jeff hits the twist of fate and goes for the Swanton bomb, but Tyrus steps in the way. Jeff dives onto Tyrus, which gives Reby the chance to give Matt a hammer. Matt uses the hammer on Jeff and hits the twist of fate to win the match. Next week Matt faces Jeff in an “I Quit” Match.
Post match, as Drew helps up Jeff, Lashley hits the ring and takes out both Drew and Jeff. Lashley hits the spear on Drew. On the outside, Lashley spears Drew into the steal steps. Lashley poses with the TNA World title.
– Next, we get a cool video in black and white. It shows Jeff leaping off of a huge structure with a graphic promoting next week’s match between Matt and Jeff on the screen.
Next Time on Impact:
It’s Hardy vs. Hardy as Jeff Hardy goes one on one with Matt Hardy in an I Quit Match. The Knockouts compete in a ladder match battle royal for control of the Knockouts Division. Also, the X Division Champion Trevor Lee will defend his title against both Eddie Edwards and DJ Z in a triple threat.
Nikki and Nattie are going to the doctors to look at Nikki’s back x-rays. Her back doesn’t look good. Nikki does cryotherapy and Nattie watches her, then Nattie does it. There’s a whole in Nattie’s towel that’s right near her nipple. Everyone laughs.
Nashville, TN
At Raw, the Bellas and Fox look on the Internet. They are learning about Paris. Fox tells the Bellas that she is fighting with Rosa. Nikki bails because she sees Cena and Brie is forced to hear about Rosa all by herself.
Paris, FR
The Divas land in Paris, and Eva is excited for the opportunity to get closer to the other Divas. Everyone is going to the Eiffel Tower except the Bellas, because they are coming back to France in a couple of weeks with their grandma and they are going to go then. Fox decides she’s not going to go because Rosa is going.
They arrive at a bomb ass suite where they will all be staying while in France. The girls start drinking that French wine, and eating hors d’oeuvres. Mandy distributes goody bags. Rosa doesn’t want to stay with Fox. Fox tells everyone that she’s scheduled a high class couture photo shoot for them all on Thursday. Paige feels alienated that no one is sleeping in their suite. Eva and Mandy decide to stay in Paige and Fox’s suite. The other Divas are so happy to not be staying with Paige, Fox, Mandy, and Eva. Fox decides to repair her relationship with Eva. They make up and Fox is happy. Fox tells everyone about Rosa. She is so pissed at Rosa.
Nikki and Brie go shopping. They buy a bunch of macaroons. Everyone else goes to the Eiffel Tower, except for Fox. She is too busy being mad at Rosa to enjoy the world. The divas talk about how romantic Paris is. Rosa wishes that Bobby was the only man that she ever slept with. Mandy asks Nattie how many penises she’s seen. Everyone is really impressed by the Eiffel Tower, especially Nattie. Paige knows that Fox is going to regret not going to the Eiffel Tower. I once went up the Eifel tower. It was cool.
At the top they had display of a mannequin Mark Twain talking with a mannequin Alec Eiffel. But if I was on a show and I was visiting Paris, the last place I’d go would be the Eiffel Tower. That’s pleb stuff and it would make me look like a total pleb dweeb. If I went to Paris on a show, I’d be more like Anthony Bourdain; I’m gonna show you the gritty, real Paris. The kind of Paris they don’t show you on TV. This is garbage.
At the top, Bobby is waiting for Rosa. He proposes to her while all the Divas watch and cheer. It’s supposed to be romantic and awesome, but it’s totally cliché and boring. How impressive, Bobby. I can’t believe no one has ever thought of proposing marriage anywhere within the vicinity of the Eiffel tower, let alone on top of it. This. Has. Never. Been. Done. Before. I feel lucky and #blessed that TV cameras were there to capture what is sure to be remembered as our generation’s moon landing.
Now everyone is at a press event, and Rosa shows off her ring. Fox is sulking in the corner, but she feels a little bad that she missed the Eiffel Tower proposal. Everyone gets their picture taken on the roof and some reporters ask them some real softball questions, like “who is the trouble maker?” I guess that’s what passes for real journalism nowadays. Shame on you, French media. They go back to their hotel, and Rosa and Bobby have sex.
Cena has arranged a wine and cheese tasting for the Bellas, but he’s not there. They love all the cheese. Nikki makes a funny joke about Brie eating brie, and then Brie tries to make a joke but she does a horrible job.
Finally, the other Divas go to a fancy restaurant overlooking the city. Paige arranged the whole thing. They are very impressed. They are amazed again when they see the Eiffel Tower. Rosa gives a speech. She does a horrible job. Fox is sulking the whole time. Can’t she just be happy for Rosa?
In the morning, Brie is wearing an incredible kimono, and she wakes up Nikki. Nikki is pissed because she is so tired from eating so much cheese. Nikki complements Brie’s robe. Fox goes into Eva’s room and laughs at her for making her bed. She starts complaining about Fox. Fox is upset that Rosa is only focused on her baby and her fiancé and hasn’t been meeting Fox’s needs as a friend.
All the girls talk about going to Jim Morrison’s grave, and Eva tells everyone she isn’t going. Eva and the Bellas are going bike riding together. Mandy is so pissed. She feels like Eva is ditching her.
Eva and the Bellas go to a bakery. Eva feels fortunate to be with such well-traveled friends. Eva tells them that some people are mad that Eva came with them today, but Eva says that Eva needs to do what Eva needs to do.
The other divas go shopping, and Fox pulls Rosa aside. They talk out their issues. They cry. They hug.
Eva and the Bellas get on bikes. Nikki and Eva are wearing heels. They are very impressed by Paris. Brie is excited that she is exercising, and Nikki is pissed that Brie is so focused on exercising. Nikki starts yelling at Brie. Brie feels bad, and decides to eat a macaroon.
Eva and the Bellas are at a cute little outdoor café, and they comment on how much they love outdoor cafes. Brie breaks down and orders French fries.
Back in the hotel, the other Divas talk about how they don’t wear underwear. Paige has another surprise for everyone. A beautiful man comes into the hotel, and Paige tells everyone that they are going to paint him. Somehow Paige managed to set up easels for everyone. She set this all up so that Nattie can see another man’s penis. This is not a normal thing. Nattie reacts with mock outrage. Nattie loves the naked man. They all take a picture with the naked man.
In the other suite, Nikki surprises everyone with a beautiful private chef, and he is going to teach them all how to make macaroons. The chef shames them all for not offering him some wine. Nattie stumbles into the room, followed by Rosa.
In the other room, a private chef is cooking everyone dinner. John has arranged another special trip for the Bellas. This time to the restaurant featured in the film Something’s Gotta Give. That movie is ok. I actually love it because Keanu plays a really cool doctor. They invite Nattie to the restaurant. Mandy is pissed that Nattie and Eva are going out to dinner and she wasn’t invited. She storms off into her bedroom and cries into her pillow. Paige follows Mandy and asks her what’s wrong. Fox and Rosa come into the room, and everyone hugs and holds Mandy.
We see a recap of the cops trying to come after Dario, while The Mack tries to help Sexy Star overcome her issues with Mariposa. We see Dario tell Matanza to break Pentagon Jr’s back, and a recap of the match where he ate a million moves to the back. In the bathroom, Vampiro looks at his medication while Dario tempts him to assault him – but he respects Vamp as the voice of LU. He doesn’t want him to make Pentagon’s mistake, and Vamp takes his medication.
At the precinct, Reyes and Detective Reehan talk to Captain Vasquez about getting evidence on Dario. She wants them to be a team, and Cueto has put them in the Trios Title tournament tonight with Mr. Cisco. At the Temple, a band plays while Striker says that Fenix faces Matanza later. Ivelisse faces Kobra Moon in the opener.
Ivelisse vs. Kobra Moon
Kobra slithers and goes for takedowns, while Vamp commends Ivie for her gear making her look like a walking knife. Ivie kicks away and armdrags her into an armbar. Kobra Moon gets a triangle choke, but eats a powerbomb for 2. Dragon sleeper by Kobra, but Ivie escapes and hits a wonky armdrag. Corner rana is turned into a rope-hanging choke by Kobra. Vamp wonders if she slithers around like a snake because her name is Kobra Moon.
Liver shot results in a Bas shoutout by Vamp, and a tarantula with a neck crank. Butterfly suplex into a butterfly lock. Striker talks about the Gable grip while Vamp asks if that’s due to Dan Gable and Striker confirms it. Weird overhead angle makes it hard to see Ivie’s setup into a Russian legsweep. Big Yakuza kick leads to an exploder by Ivie for 2. Running code red by Ivie gets the win!
We get an interview with Killshot. He served in the military and had 37 confirmed kills – all bad guys, or so he was told. He was good with his hands too, so he was in the elite squad and he was the enemy’s prisoner for 13 months before escaping by kicking the asses of many lucha terrorist ninjas – who are totally different than the usual lucha ninjas. He isn’t sure if his partners survived, and he fights in LU to forget. Well, this was different and pretty good. Famous B gives Mascarita Sagrada his business card and wants him to call 423-GET-FAME.
He walks around and bumps into The Mack and Sexy working out. He wants her out for moral support tonight, but she can’t – until he motivates her saying he wants them to pay for what they did. We see the question mark being spray-painted above the Temple again. Joey Ryan jumps in front of the Crew and steals their thunder.
Joey Ryan & The Crew vs. The Mack/Mariposa/Marty the Moth
Joey Ryan teases a start before having Cisco start it off. Cisco and The Mack slap hands and Mack drops him with a tackle for 2. Cisco gets a wonky blind-diving armdrag, but Mack does a corner headstand and an armdrag. Slingblade armdrag by Mack before Mack flips up to his feet from his head. Joey tags himself in and wants “the girl”. He tries to give her his bodyoil lollipop, but she slaps him, so he pie-faces her. Rana gets 2 for Mariposa. Dropkick tot he knee sets up an axe kick, while Vamp hypes Andy Hug as the master of that.
High kick by Reyes leads to the drive by sliding kick by Cisco for 2. Mariposa knocks him off the ropes and Marty gets a 2 count. Double team wheelbarrow splash gets 2 for Mariposa. Cicso misses a basement dropkick, but Mariposa hits one. Marty comes in and hits a corner exploder for 2. Cortez comes in with a pop-in tornado DDT for 2 before Mariposa saves. Joey tags himself in to steal Cortez’s thunder, but Mack comes in and attacks with punches and a big slam before getting 2 off a legdrop.
Samoan drop into a standing moonsault gets 2. Mariposa prevents a Mack dive, so he knocks her down and he flip dives onto the pile. Marty and Mack chop each other before Marty eats a stunner and a shatter machine by The Crew for the win! Mariposa jumps The Mack before Sexy Star comes in to make the save in a very short skirt. Sexy Star is pissed off and chops the daylights out of her before snapmaring and kicking her. Mack says that “SHE GOT DAT ASS, B*TCH! SHE GOT DAT ASS!” Mack is great.
We go to the top of the Temple and we see Dragon Azteca Jr. and Rey – so I guess the question mark is the Rey Signal. Rey tells him that going for revenge isn’t good – fighting for honor is better, and revenge will come in time. Rey and Azteca have a match next week in the trios tournament and will team with Prince Puma. We close to a cool shot of all of them in their respective hoodies before going back to the ring for the main event.
Striker talks about Fenix and Matanza fighting before, but Fenix was 1 while Matanza was 21 in Aztec Warfare. Striker calls Matanza the eater of worlds while Vamp talks about how we don’t know what Dario has done to make Matanza like this.
Lucha Underground Champion Matanza Cueto vs. Fenix
Dario tells Matanza to kill Fenix. Fenix avoids a shortarm clothesline before Matanza bowls him over and chokes him in the corner. Fenix hops over a Matanza charge, and hits a few superkicks to the knees, gut, and head – but gets caught and hit with a German INTO THE BUCKLE. Fenix knocks him into the ropes into a 619 position for a kick, but a dive is met with a rewind poweslam that Fenix escapes. Big German by Matanza! Fenix hits a missile dropkick and an apron elbow before Matanza punches him to the floor.
Fenix hits two apron superkicks and goes for a suicide dive, but is met with a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor leading to multiple “holy shit!”s by Vamp. Rewind powerslam hits for the win. Matanza climbs on top of Fenix and slugs away while the referee is threatened with firing. Catrina tells him to stop before Mil Muertes returns and attacks Matanza and sends him packing.
Striker wonders if he is showing mercy to Fenix, or if he just wants the title. Fenix and Muertes have been enemies for the last year and a half, but now find themselves as uneasy allies. This was a really good episode of the show and gave Matanza a very small chink in the armor to at least make him seem like a monster that could one day be beaten.
To see every screengrab for the show, just click here.
Welcome to the biggest party of the year, the Total Divas after WrestleMania, where up is down and down is out of control. Sit back, strap it on, and enjoy yourself, WWE Universe, because this is going to be one hell of a wild ride.
In Cincinnati, JoJo, Mandy, and Rosa are sitting around in catering talking about Rosa’s baby shower. Paige sits at another table. She has too much on her plate to deal with baby stuff. Rosa and Fox go sit with her and try to make her talk about Rosa’s big, famous baby shower.
Brie shows Nikki a picture of a house in Washington. Nikki is so mad that Brie wants to move to Washington. Nikki is excited to go to the wine bar there, but she wants to wear heeled Timberlands when they go hiking.
Someone spanks Nattie.
Work has been going great for Fox, but due to Nikki’s injury, she is getting some time off, too. Which is good for her, because she has some family issues to take care of.
In a hotel bar, Fox and Paige have a drink and commiserate. Fox is so tired. Her family is coming in and she wants to have a family talk. A father figure in her life, Priechy, who her mother used to date, is dying, and it’s making her realize she has to deal with all the dysfunction. Paige tells Fox that she has to talk to her family. Fox is going to miss Rosa’s big, famous baby shower.
In a car in Washington, Brie’s brother points out a bumper sticker with a dick joke. Everyone loves it. Nikki likes Washington, but she hates how rural it is. Brie and Nikki argue over how high maintenance Nikki is. Bryan joins in.
Back in Florida, Fox tells Rosa she can’t go to her big, famous baby shower. Rosa doesn’t understand. She gets upset and walks away.
In Washington, they are in the backwoods, on a dirt road. It’s beautiful. Nikki hates it. She is wearing high heeled camping boots. Nikki is crazy. They are looking at an empty lot. Bryan and Brie consider building a house there. Nikki is pissed because she doesn’t want to go there when John is filming a movie.
In Florida, Fox is driving with her sister. She starts crying really hard, talking about her mother. Her mom recently blew her off in Houston. Her sister calms her down.
Back in Washington, the music is intense as everyone pulls up to a beautiful house where if you want water, you have to get it from a well. Nikki is pissed, and Bryan acts passive aggressive. Nikki tells everyone she is a good person.
In Florida, Fox’s mom arrives. They reminisce in the car. Fox and her sister don’t like their mom’s perfume. It smells gross.
At Raw, Rosa is backstage. She sits down with Mandy and Eva. No one is going to Rosa’s big, famous baby shower. Paige has a secret that she’s been hiding and she needs to tell it to Rosa. In the ring, Paige symbolically taps out to Nattie’s Sharpshooter. Big Show thinks Paige looks sad. He comforts her backstage and pulls her aside for a pep talk. Paige reveals that she once lost a baby, and that she had to have a cyst removed and she may never be able to have kids. That’s why Rosa’s big, famous baby shower thing has been so hard for her.
In Florida, Fox and her family go to a really nice outdoor restaurant right on the beach. It’s the kind of place you go on vacation, but Fox can eat there whenever she wantsbecause she lives in town. I’m getting so chilled out just imagining being there. This is, by far and away, my favorite place I have ever seen anyone ever eat on Total Divas. It’s a shame that this has to be the place for Fox to hold her big family meeting, and she can’t just relax with a cold drink. But maybe the chill vibes are just what she needs to make a tense situation manageable for her. I think she made a great choice in restaurants. Priechy shows up. Fox’s mom already knew about his illness, but she never told her daughters. This pisses Fox off.
Back in Washington, Nikki and Bryan make a bet that she can’t last the night camping outside. Nikki tries to set up a tent, but she’s having trouble. Bryan teaches her and shegets it. Bryan tells her she has to use the bathroom outside. Nikki says no way, and Bryan wins the bet and fifty dollars in cold, hard cash.
In Los Angeles, Rosa and Paige are driving around. Paige tells Rosa that she can’t go to Rosa’s big, famous baby shower because she has to go on MTV. Rosa is so pissed.No one is coming to the party now.
In Washington, Bryan is chopping wood. Nikki remembers her victory over Bryan in a wood chopping contest many years ago on another season of Total Divas. Thisawakens the competitive fire in Nikki’s heart, and she decides she wants to go fly fishing. Nikki chops wood.
In Florida, the Fox family are going to another chill looking outdoor restaurant in Jacksonville. This episode is doing a great job making me want to move to Florida. Fox confronts her.
In Washington, Nikki goes fishing and Brie and Bryan go shopping. Brie comments on the irony. They look at baby hiking books. Meanwhile, Nikki is learning to fish. She isstarting to come around to the Washington lifestyle. She realizes that her problem isn’t with Washington, it’s that everyone is moving to the next step in their lives, but she isn’t ready yet.
Back in Florida, Fox and her mom leave the restaurant, and start fighting. Her mom is acting like a total nut. Fox feels guilty, but she really doesn’t need to. Her mom appearsin this episode as the dictionary definition of dysfunctional. Fox drops her mom off, and she is really sad about what happened.
Back in LA, It’s time for Rosa’s big, famous baby shower. There is a photo booth. Rosa is so sad that none of her work friends are there. She is especially mad at Paige. Lillian Garcia shows up, and they take a picture together.
On the MTV set, a strange guy talks to Paige. Paige feels like she is betraying Rosa. Perhaps all the Divas’ problems would be solved with a little truth and transparency.
At Rosa’s party, Rosa talks smack about Paige, and then Paige surprises everyone and shows up. Paige tells Rosa her secret. They hug, and Rosa realizes she’s been a little selfish. Paige hopes to one day be a mom, as good of a mom as she has. They play a game called suck the nipple.
Back in Washington, everyone goes to this really nice North Western styled bistro. Nikki loves it. She tells Brie she is pissed that Washington is too far from her. Nikki tells them she feels like they are moving there to get away from her. She said she went fishing to prove to them that she can be a mountain mama and hang with them in the Wilderness. They tell her that they love having Nikki be their third wheel. Everyone feels a lot better. Brie tells them that they probably aren’t going to move to that particular town anyway.
WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) beat The Ascension with the Midnight Hour
Baron Corbin beat Fandango with the End of Days
Paige beat Emma with the Ram-Paige. Good match. They had time, much more than the three previous matches. The crowd was really behind Paige. Greg Hamilton announced the match as a women’s division match
SmackDown:
– WWE Champion Roman Reigns opened the show. Because it’s more of a casual crowd than the ones for Mania and Raw, he got a lot more cheers than the previous nights. Actually, it might have been 50-50, with kids and women cheering for him. He used the “I’m not a bad guy. I’m not a good guy. I’m THE guy” line again. He said what matters to him was to beat AJ Styles.
Styles came out to a huge pop and a big chant of “AJ Styles” when he got in the ring. He shook hands with Reigns congratulating him for the title, saying Roman had a good WrestleMania, but that he had a heck of a Monday Night Raw. Reigns told him that to be THE champ, he needs to beat THE guy. He said that Styles beat guys all over the world, but he never beat him, and he will never be. He tapped him on the shoulder and left.
– The Vaudevillans beat Lucha Dragons with the Gentleman’s Congress
Weird thing. The Vaudevillains’ music started, but after 20 seconds or so, it stopped. Then, after a minute, the Lucha Dragons’ theme started and they made their entrance. Obviously, someone messed up in the back and mixed up the order. Apparently, the music mess-up was not a mistake and just a teaser. The Vaudevillains got very little reaction. Those who were reacting were clapping to the sound of the music, only to realize that they were not babyfaces. Clearly, a lot of the fans didn’t know who they were.
– Natalya beat Summer Rae with the Sharpshooter in a short match. Charlotte and Ric were doing commentary for this match. They are building Natalya as the next contender.
– Intercontinental champion The Miz beat Zack Ryder
Maryse removed one of the bottom corners and threw it in the ring. As Charles Robinson was trying to put it back, Miz raked Ryder’s eyes and hit the Skull-Crushing Finale for the win. Good match, and the crowd got into it.
Maryse got her own entrance, the old one she used to have. She cut a promo, saying her name was Maryse, but that everyone should know that, and that she’s the living proof that behind every great man there’s a great woman and there’s no greater man than her husband. She then introduced The Miz. Ryder didn’t get much of a reaction during his entrance, but it got better during the match. Maryse got some heat during her promo.
– Social Outcasts played a game of rock, scissors and paper to decide who would face Apollo Crews. Curtis Axel had paper while the others all had scissors, but said it was actually an axe, therefore he’s in the match.
– Apollo Crews beat Curtis Axel with a spin-out power bombeat in a total squash match.
– We got two big screen interviews: Baron Corbin did a short one saying the end of days is here, and Becky Lynch saying she would be back in the title picture. Emma cut her off and made fun of her black eye. I guess that’s the next program for both of them. We also got another Colon “Greetings from Puerto Rico” vignette.
– Dean Ambrose beat Tyler Breeze in basically a squash match.
– Cesaro & AJ Styles beat Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens
Cesaro clotheslined Jericho and both ended up outside. Cesaro then hit a European uppercut on Jericho. As Owens was to throw Styles in the ropes for the pop up powerbomb, Sami Zayn made his way to the ring. He had his left elbow wrapped up and was followed by some referees trying to stop him. Styles schooled boy Owens for the pin. Following that, they did a pull apart between Owens and Zayn.
– The Dudleys then came to the ring and attacked AJ. Roman Reigns came to clean house. Reigns and Styles were alone in the ring and looked at each other for a long time before they finally shook hands. Jericho took the mic and asked AJ to shake his hands in apology for calling him Y2Jackass. Styles hit the Styles Clash on him, followed by Reigns’ Superman punch.
