In a Youtube-exclusive match, Joey Ryan entered Aztec Warfare 2 by stealing a win. It was a pretty entertaining match, and includes more of Vampiro comparing Joey Ryan to ’70s porn stars. Pentagon Jr. tells Fenix he will take his title. Catrina tells him that his master may be dark, but he doesn’t know darkness – and we see her flash into a skeleton briefly. She tells him he isn’t in Aztec Warfare, and he says he has zero fear – she tells him that’s only because he doesn’t know true fear. Catrina tells Fenix he will breathe his last breath, while Mil Muertes will reclaim his title.
A large tribal celebration takes place while the crowd chants “aztec warfare!” Striker and Vampiro welcome us to the show, and Vamp is wearing a checkered shirt and not a hoodie or T-shirt for the first time ever on the show. It’s a bit weird. Fenix comes out while Striker comes up with 5,000 superlatives to describe him. Famous B and his date are here, in a white suit with a gold tie and a white dress with a gold feather boa respectively. Rey comes down and gets a huge reaction. Surprisingly, he isn’t in his El Rey gear that he had on URFight. Fenix moves aside to let Rey get his props and another big chant breaks out.
Fenix hugs Rey and they go to a tie-up. Lucha tumbling sequence sets up a revolving door headscissor. Fenix gets 2 off of one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen – a back-handspring Japanese armdrag. King Cuerno comes in and kicks both guys before hitting the Arrow of Death dive to Fenix on the floor. Rey kicks him off the apron to the floor and hits his Slip ‘n Slide splash under the ropes to the floor. Argenis returns and superkicks Fenix and Rey, getting a 2 on the latter. 619 hits Argenis and the frog splash hits to take Argenis out. Fenix dropkicks Cuerno to the floor and Johnny Mundo comes down before a commercial break.
We come back to Mundo walking down the steps – so we’ve missed nothing in-ring. Rey and Mundo face off and Mundo sends him into the corner with an uppercut. Fenix comes in and kicks Mundo into the corner before hitting a jumping yakuza kick. Joey Ryan comes down and Fenix gets 2 off a pair of kicks. Striker’s badly-edited voice work tells us that Joey won a qualifier, and Joey handcuffs himself to the barricade so he can’t be eliminate. Cuerno superkicks him for being an idiot. Famous B gives Joey one of his golden business cards. Prince Puma comes down and hits a giant jumping lariat to Fenix. Flying cutter to Cuerno! Double-jump SSP to a pile of luchadors on the floor! Sidewinder suplex is countered into a rana by Cuerno. Rey gets a cross armbreaker to Cuerno and he taps out!
Well, I sure didn’t see that coming. Jack Evans comes in and eats a beating. Rey climbs on Fenix’s shoulders for a splash onto Evans. Mundo pulls him to safety. Taya comes in as the first female entrant in Aztec Warfare this year. The remaining rudos and tecnicos get into a fist fight. Taya and Jack hold Rey down for the End of the World, but Cage (who is still a machine) comes down. He no-sells a dropkick from Evans and clotheslines him to death for a break.
Cage attacks Johnny before Taya tries to save him. She eats a nasty slam, and then Cage is tossed through Catrina’s office window. Mascarita Sagrada comes down and Cage recovers and lariats Johnny to Hell. Weapon X on the floor to Mundo! Puma hits a standing SSP to Mundo mid-ring to take him out. Marty the Moth comes down and Vamp asks if they should have a Most Creepy Title just for Marty and Joey. Marty takes off his shirt and swivels his hips before kicking Sagrada down. Eans hits a tornado kick, but Marty doesn’t feel it. Marty fishhooks Jack’s face before Drago comes down and we go to a break.
Evans goes for a Space Flying Tiger Drop, as you do, and Dragon sidesteps and kicks him. He kicks Joey as well and Drago fights with Jack in the crowd. Rey splashes Marty and takes him out of the match. Evans eats a crazy backdrop to the floor and hands face-first. The Mack comes down and hits a stunner on Marty. Cage and Mack slug it out and Mack hits a flying knee to send him down. Stunner to Cage while Puma chops Joey. Taya attacks Sagrada and Chavo comes down.
Drago apparently powerbombed Evans on the steps, but we didn’t see it. Well, he’ll regret that later for sure. Chavo locks on the camel clutch to take out Sagrada in an homage to Gory. Taya prevents a 619 to Cage and Mundo hits Cage in the head with a cinder block to take him out. Fenix German Suplexes Taya to take her out. PJ Black comes down and suplexes Drago on the steps. Drago tosses PJ’s face into the post. Aero Star returns from outer space and kicks PJ while Joey tells Aero to eliminate PJ. CANADIAN DESTROYER OFF THE TOP TO JACK EVANS takes him out.
Dragon Azteca Jr. comes down and dives onto the pile. Azteca makes use of his wacky kung fu training to kick PJ a few times. OVER THE POST SOMERSAULT DIVE TO MACK ON THE FLOOR. Texano comes down for an ad break. Texano hits a flip dive onto a pile on the floor. PJ hits a double stomp to the back of Texano for 2. Texano lands a powerbonb and eliminates PJ. Mil Muertes comes down as Striker calls him “The Dangerous Precipitation”. Pentagon Jr. jumps him and Rey and Puma double team Mil to pin him. Catrina yells at Vampiro to get the f*ck out of here.
Dario Cueto returns on the ramp and says THIS IS HIS TEMPLE and he’s the boss. He announces Matanza as the next entrant and the crowd goes crazy. As the graphic states, The Monster Matanza Cueto comes down. Matanza takes out Fenix with a rewind powerslam – guaranteeing a new champion. Mack’s stunner is no-sold a sick head-landing German gets the win for Matanza. Another German beats Aero Star! Texano chokes him with the rope, but the same powerbomb Texano used pins him here. He eyes a trapped Joey Ryan and rips the bars to free him so he can kick his ass. Multiple Karelin lift gutwrench suplexes beat Joey Ryan! Matanza is essentially a top 20 moves video on Youtube, and it’s fantastic for a movie monster character.
Dragon hits kicks and elbows and a springboard dropkick slightly budges him before a huge Giant-style chokeslam takes Dragon Azteca Jr. out. Chavo talks to Cueto to make a deal, but Cueto tells him to off him. STANDING SSP BY MATANZA TAKES OUT CHAVO! Puma and Rey attack Matanza, but Rey gets tossed to the floor. A forklift-style fallaway slam and a German take out Puma! It’s down to Rey and Matanza for the Lucha Underground Title. Rey tries to use speed, but a big lariat takes him out.
Rey kicks the knees, then the balls while Striker quotes Jebediah Springfield. An enzuiguri sets up the 619, but Matanza catches him! Rey finally hits it and sends him down! A rana off the top is met with a powerbomb into a rewind powerslam for the win! Cueto proudly declares that his brother is now the Lucha Underground Champion. This wasn’t as good an overall match as the first Aztec Warfare, but it still flew by and was a far better Rumble match than any Royal Rumbles have been this decade. Matanza was booked flawlessly, and unlike every other “monster” character of the past 20 years, actually busted out athletically-impressive offense beyond chokes, chokeslams, and lariats. They made him a very unique monster act and did more to make him a star in one night with him than TNA has done in 13 years with Abyss. To see all the screenshots for the show, just click here.
New York, NY. A boy gives the Bella’s some flowers. He shows them a Cena lunch box with a Nikki Bella action figure inside that he takes with him everywhere.
Now they are in Denver. Paige and Fox meet a fan at a coffee shop. It’s not a nice restaurant; it’s a little place to get to-go coffee. No one hangs out there. They go to a park with a fan. He lives in Portland, OR. He wants Paige to help him come out as a gay man to his family. He is afraid that they won’t accept him. He tells Paige that he gets his strength from her. Fox and Paige agree to go to his house when he comes out to his family.
Now in Phoenix, going from town to town, we have to move fast. We have a lot of story to get in to just one tiny hour. Nattie is looking at at an app and she tells Mandy about her new cat. Nattie is going on a big family jet-skiing vacation. Mandy complains that she never had a family vacation. Nattie invites Mandy’s family on her vacation. Then she freaks out because she realizes how dumb that was.
Brie is stoked because she is wrestling in her home town. Everyone loves her and she wins. She hugs her brother JJ backstage. Nikki is bummed because she can’t go to Sedona. In Sedona, Brie, Bryan, and their friends and family, are also going on a different sort of vacation, a cleansing vacation. JJ is upset because he doesn’t want to do everything that Bryan wants to do. The Bellas talk about their breasts.
Eva and Mandy hug an Uso. Carrano wants to get some creative stuff going for them, get them on Mania to fight for the Diva’s title, and share some wacky ideas for Eva. They want her to dye her hair blonde. We saw what happened last time they asked her to go blonde. She went AWOL.
Ontario, California. Paige is backstage, talking to some Divas about the promise she made to go to that fan’s house to help him come out to his parents. Renee Young tells her it’s a little weird that she agreed to that. Everyone tells her she is going too far. They tell her it’s a bad idea, even Nattie.
Back in Phoenix, Bryan tells everyone on the way to the vacation that they are going to visit a reincarnated Buddha, a teepee temple, and then a stupa, “which is like a sacred place.” Brie wants lunch. He tells them there will be no alcohol. This isn’t going to end well.
In Colorado Springs, Nattie walks up to Fox and tells her about the vacation with Mandy. She just learned Mandy is coming with fifteen people. R-Truth hugs Mandy and Eva. They tell him about their tag team. R-Truth wants them to be his dancers.
Meanwhile, in Sedona. Bryan and friends pull up to a sweet house with a meditation room, as Dean Ambrose and Renee Young show up. Ambrose has a hand drum. Bryan makes a healthy lunch. Everyone is pissed. They don’t want to eat healthy. Bryan tells Brie that she never cries. Bryan cries all the time.
Back in Colorado Springs, Paige and Fox are in a park. The entire WWE Total Divas universe has been turned on its head. Everyone is going on weird vacations, going to strange family houses, and sitting in small parks and no one is eating at any nice restaurants! Paige tells Fox that everyone said it was weird that they were going to that fan’s house. Fox wants to go. Paige decides to call him and tell him no. She chickens out when they hear his mom had a heart attack. Fox is happy because what’s the worst that can happen? I don’t know, Fox, how about two incompetent strangers showing up with a camera crew to a random and combustible family’s home, during one of the most sensitive conversations they’ve ever had?
In Tampa, Nattie smells her cat. She tells TJ about Mandy. Nattie tries to quote Maya Angelou. She googles Maya Angelou. TJ is saying funny things. Too bad you are reading this instead of watching, because there is no way possible to convey via the written word how he just interacted with his wife. He’s pretty chill about all of it in the end.
Brie and friends show up to this place and they go into a teepee with this really excited man in a cowboy hat. They do meditation. Everyone hates it except Brie and Bryan. Ambrose is pissed. The guy blows a giant horn in Bryan’s face. Everyone laughs. Everything I would have never thought would happen on this show is happening tonight.
Finally some semblance of order, as Mandy and Eva walk into a very nice restaurant called Boca. It’s got nice lighting, and a surprising feature… a tree growing in the middle of the restaurant! A fan tells Eva how inspiring she is. No one knows who Mandy is. Mandy wants Eva to go blonde. Mandy, if you keep talking about Eva going blonde then you are already dead.
Bryan is pissed that everyone made an unhealthy dinner. Bryan said that everyone agreed to do as he said because he paid for everything. Bryan is pissed that everyone is drinking. He gives them the business. Ambrose, shirt reading “I’m just here for the beer,” tells everyone he thinks they should drink. They drink. Bryan chooses not to participate in their toast and tells them such.
In Portland, Paige and Fox pull up to an amazing bed and breakfast. Fox says something stupid and they laugh. Paige asks the proprietor if he is gay. He is. He tells them that coming out to his dad was the hardest thing he’s ever done.
Back in Sedona, Bryan makes a joke then says he’s going to a Buddhist monument to meditate. Everyone says they aren’t going. Bryan says whatever. Brie doesn’t want to go, and Bryan is pissed.
Meanwhile at some dump of a bar in Portland, Paige and Fox are with the fan, and they realize they really aren’t qualified to actually help him.
In Orlando, Mandy and Eva talk to Sara and Sarah about their tag team. Eva and Mandy don’t really know anything about tag teams, especially Mandy. Sara tells Eva privately that she is way ahead of Mandy and Eva doesn’t need to change a thing.
Back in Sedona, everyone is in the hot tub. Dean Ambrose jumps in the pool. Bryan is sulking in bed. Brie tries to get Bryan to come to the tub. Bryan wants Brie to go to bed. Bryan surprises everyone and comes out in a cool bathing suit and judges a jumping contest. He has a really good time.
In Jacksonville, Eva and Mandy are at Tribute to the Troops. Eva and Nattie go to the mess hall. This looks nothing like the restaurants at which they usually dine. Eva tells Nattie about Mandy. Nattie tells her not to sweat Mandy.
Back in Portland, Paige, Fox and the fan pull up to his house. Everyone is un-phased by the cameras. Some tense piano music plays and he tells them he’s gay. Everyone is super chill with it, and there was really no issue at all. Everyone hugs.
In Orlando, Eva is fighting Bayley for the NXT Women’s Championship. 2016 WWE Hall of Fame inductee, Michael Hayes, in a hat no human should wear, stares at Eva and tells her she’s great. She wrestles and loses. Everyone in the crowd hates her and she loves it. She thinks that she’s entertaining. Mandy hugs Eva. Eva tells Mandy to get lost. Mandy acts cool and walks away.
Guess we must wait to find out what happens on Nattie’s vacation.
The Big News: Vince McMahon announced that if the Undertaker loses to Shane McMahon at WrestleMania, then the Undertaker will never wrestle at WrestleMania again. Kevin Owens became the latest wrestler to get scolded by Stephanie McMahon, who ordered him to defend the Intercontiental Championship in a ladder match against Sami Zayn, the Miz, Sin Cara, Stardust, Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler. Building up Shane McMahon was the backbone of the show through a series of vignettes, and no matter how much Vince McMahon has lost his creative touch, this company will always have great videos as extra spice in their stew. But they served a cold dish, overall, tonight.
Show Recap:
The show was dedicated to the memory of Mary Katherine Stewart, who was only 21 years old.
Stephanie McMahon announced HHH wasn’t going to be there tonight, and fans had 60 second to get to the box office for refunds. She claimed her husband was missing the show because of front office concerns, not because of Roman Reigns attack last week. She said Reigns proved why he would never be WWE World Heavyweight Champion, because he lacks intellect. Reigns came out to mostly boos, which was not the reaction he got when he defeated Sheamus for the WWE title in December. He’s no longer walking through the crowd.
Stephanie started to dress down Reigns until he put his hand over the microphone. Fans booed him as he started to talking, and said HHH didn’t come to Philadelphia because he knew he would whip his ass all over Broad Street. Reigns said he would walk into Texas and take his championship back, and there was nothing Stephanie or her daddy’s money could do about it. Stephanie started to slap him, but he caught her hand and said “Now, I’m the Authority.” It was the right idea to put Reigns in there with Stephanie because he’s the only person she sells for, but the fans just aren’t willing to accept him as a headliner. Short segment for an opener, going only seven minutes.
Kevin Owens (C) defeated A.J. Styles in a nontitle match (19:19)
They just can’t help themselves. A.J. Styles had Kevin Owens in the Calf Crasher, but Chris Jericho came out for the weekly distraction into a schoolboy cradle finish. Of course, it was a great match with Styles getting near falls following a Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker and a Rack Bomb. During a commercial, Styles went for the Phenomenal Forearm, but Owens grabbed the ropes and Styles crashed to the floor. Owens pulled out a frog splash for a great near fall, and later showed off the F-Cinq. The crowd was into it, but the finish took it down a level. Styles chased Jericho to the back.
Afterwards, Owens laughed about winning over Styles and defending his title at “KO-Mania.” Dolph Ziggler came out to challenge him, and mentioned “KOMania and Botchamania.” Ziggler, who just got crushed last week, as the top challenger spoke volumes about the depth of the midcard. Then the Miz came out and laughed over how Ziggler thought he could get a title shot after HHH slaughtered him last week. Ziggler brought up superkicking Miz on SmackDown. Sami Zayn came out and said he had waited for months to get a piece of Owens and wanted him at WrestleMania. Owens said he would talk with the Authority about arranging a three-way match among those three challengers, and the winner would get the shot at WrestleMania.
Dean Ambrose was taped at the Philadium bar doing a promo on Brock Lesnar when suddenly, Terry Funk popped up. Funk looked like he had lost 40 pounds since his last television appearance. Funk did a variation of his classic promos, including this one from Puerto Rico that’s the White Album or Dark Side of the Moon of wrestling interviews. He told Ambrose that if he had a son, he would be just like Ambrose. Funk gave Ambrose a chainsaw which he could use against Lesnar, and Ambrose started sawing a table to the horror of various extras.
Owens approached Stephanie and asked for a triple threat match tonight that he could book. Stephanie agreed. The trick was Owens didn’t say who would be in the match, with Stephanie assuming it would be Miz vs. Zayn vs. Ziggler.
They did a good feature on Shane McMahon and the Undertaker featuring Mick Foley, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Edge, John Cena, Booker T, Michael Hayes and Jerry Lawler. Foley said Shane’s return was among the top three reactions he’s ever heard in the business. Cena mentioned he never thought he’d see Shane in the WWE again. The piece featured headlines from when Shane left the company in 2010 and what brought him back.
Alberto Del Rio, Rusev and Sheamus did promos on the New Day laughing about how they beat them up last week. New Day came out with Booty O’s cereal. Xavier Woods held up placards which spelled out “You are trash.” Kofi Kingston said Rusev had stinky feet. Kingston wondered what happened to Del Rio, he used to come out in a car with his own ring announcer, but now he’s stuck in the League of Nations. They mentioned Sheamus’ parents must have known how he would turn out to be because they put the word “Shame” in his first name. Woods mentioned the tag line “Booty-O’s: They make sure you aren’t Booty.”
Big E. defeated Rusev (11:06)
Big E. won after the Big Ending. Lots of activity outside the ring, including King Barrett and Sheamus throwing Woods and Kingston into the barricade, which they sold for several minutes. Big E. hit several Belly-to-Bootie suplexes. Rusev teased the Accolade, but Big E. escaped with an Electric Chair, which was impressive considering Rusev’s size. Match was good but was a few minutes too long.
Vince McMahon will make an announcement concerning Shane-Undertaker later tonight.
The Wyatt Family did a promo about a match tonight between Ambrose and Braun Strowman, who said the God of War watches over him tonight and he would offer Ambrose for sacrifice.
Aliciia Fox and Naomi did a commercial for Snickers where some male was pretending to be a drama queen. So they gave him a “Drama Rama” bar, the guy took a bit out of it, and turned into Natalya.
The Big Show came out for a promo for the 3rd annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Byron Saxton vowed winning the battle royal could change someone’s life. So far, the winner’s of the battle royal have been Cesaro and the Big Show. Exactly how have their lives changed for the better? Show said he once claimed to be the greatest giant of all time, but the true greatest giant was Andre, because he was the first giant and the greatest giant. That’s why it meant so much for him to win the battle royal last year and wants to win it again. Social Outcasts came out. Heath SLater said Show’s mark on the industry would soon be the Social Outcasts’ largest victim. Bo Dallas claimed they were a Cinderella story. Curtis Axel corrected him and said they were like Voltron. Adam Rose said Show was in serious trouble. Show said the only trouble he would have would be figuring out which one of them to knock out first. Slater got choked, but Axel hit Show with a Shining Wizard. They started to put the boots to him, but Kane came out, threw Dallas and Slater over the top rope, as well as Rose. Dallas tried to shake Kane’s hand with his left hand, but he was thrown out. Show hugged Kane, who didn’t return the favor. Show posed on the second rope, but Kane grabbed Show and choke slammed him off the second rope. Guess that’s what Show gets for saying he wasn’t properly booked over the years on Austin’s podcast.
Chris Jericho defeated Fandango (2:08)
Nice to see Fandango back from the witness relocation program. He missed the Last Dance and Jericho started to put on the Walls of Jericho, but Styles came out and started chanting “Y2 Jackass.” Jericho must not be as easily distracted as Styles was, because Jericho kicked out of Fandango’s small package. Jericho got the pin with a codebreaker.
Jericho challenged Styles to get in the ring. When Styles ran in, Jericho ran out. Styles then did a promo saying he’s wrestled all over the world, but not at WrestleMania. He challenged Jericho to a match at WrestleMania, which Jericho didn’t answer.
Another Shane promo video, and this was very good. Of all people, they had Renzo Gracie cutting an interview about how Shane brings energy to his jujitsu workout daily. Renzo is as good a personality as you’ll find from the MMA world to get someone over on an interview, especially since he doesn’t have a script. Shawn Michaels, Edge, Road Dogg, Austin, and Booker built Shane up as someone tougher than shoe leather, but most of them picked Undertaker to win. A good hype piece, and it left the fans with a better flavor about Shane than if Shane had appeared in front of the live crowd and received a lukewarm response, which is always a danger in Philadelphia.
Owens handled ring announcing for the triple threat match for the Intercontiental championship. Instead of Miz vs. Zayn vs. Ziggler, Owens announced Stardust, Sin Cara and Zack Ryder.
Stardust vs. Zack Ryder vs. Sin Cara ended in no contest (3:41)
The joke here was Owens booked three jobbers for a fight for his championship. What’s scary is, after last week, Ziggler and Miz have as much credibility as the three who started this match. Zayn, Miz and Ziggler came out to confront Owens, who was on commentary. It led to Owens jumping Ryder for the DQ. Everybody started fighting with Owens, who walked away.
This led to our weekly segment known as “Stephanie gets to castrate talent.” Stephanie scolded Owens for misleading her about the triple-threat match, then ordered him to face Zayn, Sin Cara, Ryder, Stardust, Ziggler, the Miz and Stardust at WrestleMania in a ladder match for the I-C title.
Stephanie walked out of the building, where a black SUV was waiting for her. HHH came out from the backseat and kissed her. As the garage roof raised, Reigns was behind it. I guess HHH and Stephanie were making out in the backseat because the SUV didn’t move. Reigns pulled HHH out of the back and brawled with HHH, including ramming him into a set of bars. HHH got one punch in and the SUV sped off.
Charlotte (C) defeated Natalya (4:47)
Charlotte won with Natural Selection. Natalya got the Sharpshooter on, but Charlotte made the ropes. Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch were on commentary doing promos on each other that succeeded in making me less encouraged to watch the match. It’s sad how far behind the WWE is from UFC in terms of using interviews to build up fights. It’s like the gap between the New England Patriots and the Cleveland Browns.
Bubba Ray Dudley defeated R-Truth (2:04)
The gimmick was R-Truth was despondent about Goldust turning down his requests to be his tag team partner. Bubba Ray Dudley won with a big boot. Devon Dudley joined in to beat up Truth. So after weeks of building up the Goldust-Truth tag team, Goldust runs down for the save. And Michael Cole couldn’t have been more monotone in his delivery. Why the hell do you start the angle if you aren’t going to sell it big on the payoff? On top of that, Goldust ran in with a chair, but got laid out with a reverse 3-D. Then the Usos ran in and gave Bubba a double superkick, ditto for Devon. The Usos pulled out a table and teased giving Devon a splash through the table, but Bubba pulled his partner to safety.
Vince came out and he just has worn out his welcome. Total silence on his entrance. After the post-WrestleMania Raw in 2 weeks, he needs about nine months off to get fresh again. He reviewed the Shane-Undertaker stips, and said if Shane wins, it might mean he will never be on Raw again. Like anyone believes that. Then he put over Shane as a wrestler. He actually said Shane might be the most forminable opponent the Undertaker has ever faced at WrestleMania. You could a loud groan in the audience after that one. The big news is if Undertaker doesn’t beat Shane at WrestleMania, then the Undertaker will never wrestle at WrestleMania again.
Braun Strowman defeated Dean Ambrose by DQ (5:12)
Paul Heyman was on commentary doing his best to sell Ambrose’s match with Brock Lesnar. Crowd was so dead, it was amazing this was only two weeks before WrestleMania and one of the top babyfaces was in the ring. It got boring chants. All Strowman could do was nerve holds. Finally Ambrose used a chair on Strowman for a DQ for no real reason. Ambrose went after Luke Harper and Erick Rowan with the chair, then hit Dirty Deeds on Strowman onto the chair. Ambrose walked over to Heyman and mouthed off to him while Heyman looked on with concern.
Final Thoughts:
There is no momentum for WrestleMania at all. The event sells itself purely on its brand name. But there wasn’t one regular performer on this show who is over. As long as Raw is 3 hours, appearing on Raw is an obstacle to getting over because you’re overexposed. And there’s two types of people in this company. Those who have been castrated by HHH and Stephanie, and those who are going to be. Tonight, Owens joined the former club after being in the latter for eight months.
During the match, Page would offer to shake Yehi’s hand, yet would end up being chopped. Ethan Page wins with the Package Piledriver, Page and Yehi do end up shaking hands post match before Anthony Nese comes out and attacks Page from behind with a chair.Nese says fat guys like Page don’t belong in a wrestling ring. Caleb Konley joins Nese in the ring while Page is carried out by the refs. Konley says he’s wrestling Thatcher tonight finally after a year.
TJ Perkins beat Tommaso Ciampa
“F TNA” chants to start the match as Perkins laughs. Ciampa hits the Project Ciampa, but TJP kicks out at two, Ciampa goes for a second one yet TJP escapes to put Ciampa in his Figure Four Deathlock to get the win.
Matt Riddle beat Chris Hero
Hero hit a spike piledriver, pulls off his elbow pad and strikes Riddle right in the temple yet Riddle kicks out. Hero goes for another piledriver yet Riddle counters with a triangle submission forcing Hero to tap.
– EVOLVE tag title match is supposed to be up next but Gargano comes out and tells the crowd that Galloway’s flight from Orlando has been delayed and ask for more time. Caleb Konley attacks Gargano from behind and demands for Thatcher to come out so they can have their match right now. Thatcher is on his way out but Sami Callihan cheap shots him from behind.
EVOLVE Champion Timothy Thatcher beat Caleb Konley for The Evolve Championship
A lot of interference from Andrea during this match before Thatcher got her out of the way. The finish saw Thatcher putting Konley in a armbar to retain the title.
– Matt Riddle is out to tell Thatcher at least he didn’t have to cheat tonight. He calls Thatcher trash and wants a rematch for the title April 1st in Dallas. Thatcher agrees and Riddle says he’s not gonna cheap shot Thatcher, instead he hits him with a jumping knee and knocks Thatcher out.
Sami Callihan beat Tracy Williams
Callihan wins with the Cinderblock Forearm to the back of the neck.
Zack Sabre Jr. beat Drew Gulak
Sabre’s boot came undone so he just took it off, Gulak capitalized by body slamming Sabres ankle into the ropes 5 times. Sabre and Gulak exchange roll-ups, Sabre counters the wins with a unique submission.
– Chris Hero is out to say when he hears Best In The World he doesn’t think about Zack Sabre Jr. He thinks about Bryan Danielson, who he’s beat. He thinks about CM Punk, who he’s beat. Hero says Sabre can’t claim to be the best unless he has beaten him, which he hasn’t. Sabre says he’ll see him in Dallas. Gulak wants the mic and tells Hero that he shouldn’t be worried about Sabre he should be worried about Catchpoint.
Evolve Tag Team Champions Drew Galloway and Johnny Gargano beat Team Tremendous
Some great action here as expected, and the finish saw Galloway hitting the Future Shock DDT on Dan Berry to retain the titles in their first defense.
Here is a full report for the 3/20 New Japan Road to Invasion Attack show from Hyogo, Japan. This show wasn’t aired live, but can be seen in full on New Japan World via individual matches.
Roppongi Vice vs. Jay White and David Finlay
Solid match. Finlay and White are really good as a team and do all the young lion stuff really well at this point. Both of them show great fire when doing their comeback.Romero hit a suicide dive on Finlay on the outside while Beretta pinned White with the Dudebuster.
Kushida vs. Gedo
This was really good. Gedo is excellent at what he does and Kushida is one of the best in the planet. They worked a good while with Gedo getting in control for most of the match. Kushida cut him off and and had some good back and forth from there, with some really good near falls. The crowd was into it as well. Kushida had Gedo in the kimura lock at one point but Gedo escaped. Kushida rolled around, got it back on and Gedo tapped.
Yoshi-Hashi, Kazushi Sakuraba and Toru Yano vs. Ryusuke Taguchi, Manabu Nakanishi and Yuji Nagata
Your typical New Japan six man, though I’ve seen better. Nothing too wrong, but a lot of comedy and a lot of these guys don’t mix well together. Yano got the win for his team after a low blow on both Taguchi and Nakanishi, rolling up the latter for the win.
Katsuyori Shibata and Captain New Japan vs. Tencozy
Gee, I wonder who is taking the fall here. The problem with CNJ is that he almost never wins, so you already know who is losing before the match even starts. It’s not even like Honma where he’s so great people will buy into anything; there’s just not much you can do with CNJ beyond the opening bout. This was all an angle to continue towards a Tenzan/Shibata match for the NEVER title, as Tenzan challenged after Kojima lost his title match. Match was fine but tough to get into considering. Tenzan locked in the anaconda vise on CNJ and he tapped out quickly.
Shibata and Tenzan had a staredown after the match.
Cody Hall, Yujiro Takahashi, Tama Tonga and Bad Luck Fale vs. Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma, Jushin Thunder Liger and Tiger Mask
Standard eight man tag. Not much to talk about. Tiger Mask didn’t have the NWA Jr. title with him as he lost it on 3/19 back to Steve Anthony, so even though they teased another Liger/Tiger match, it probably is out of the books now. Tama Tonga got the win, pinning Tiger Mask with the waistlock DDT.
Never Six Man Tag Team Champions Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Michael Elgin and Juice Robinson
Good, crazy six man as you’d expect from a Bucks match. Omega had a bunch of weapons and used them freely during the match, using his trash can and the new spraycan they bring to the ring (maybe it’s Febreze? Who knows). Tanahashi and Omega had some good back and forth towards the end. Maybe they’re keeping that title situation alive? Faces mounted a good comeback, but Robinson got isolated after his team mates were laid out with superkicks and Omega pinned him with the One Winged Angel to retain the titles.
Hirooki Goto & Kazuchika Okada vs. Bushi and Tetsuya Naito
This was fine, but never really felt it. I think it was just the way it was positioned on the card. Goto has debuted new red gear during this tour as he’s officially in Chaos. Goto and Bushi worked each other, as did Naito and Okada since they’re headlining Invasion Attack. Goto hit his knee neckbreaker on Bushi (does he really need to do that to someone who’s been out months due to a bad neck?) then hit a new finisher, sort of like a reverse slam into a knee neckbreaker, for the win.
Okada and Naito had a staredown after the match, but Naito simply walked away before anything went down.
ROH TV Champion Tomohiro Ishii vs. Evil
Very good match. Ishii was his stiff self as usual and Evil is coming into his own as a worker. Not at the same level as Ishii, obviously, but he held his own here. Lots of lariats and back and forth action in general. This was stiff, but not to the level you’d see from normal Ishii matches where he destroys himself. Lots of back and forth towards the end. Evil kicked out of the sliding D. They both went for double headbutts and they fell to the floor. Evil clonked Ishii with a lariat and went for the STO but Ishii fought back. Ishii hit a running knee to the face and hit the brainbuster for the win.
Overall a pretty solid card. The main event was good, the Young Bucks six man was good and Kushida/Gedo was good as well. Those three matches are priorities.
Tonight’s show is our first of two shows looking at the highlights of last year’s Best of the Super Juniors tournament. I believe all matches on this show took place on May 22nd, 2015 at Korakuen Hall
Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Yohei Komatsu
This was a wild, back and forth match from the get-go. Komatsu brought it early and they brawled everywhere. Really good match, Komatsu showed the most fire I’ve ever seen in this match. Once he comes back from Mexico, he’s going to be awesome no matter where he’s at. The future of the Junior Heavyweight division in New Japan is so bright, I hope they realize that. As with every young lion match, Komatsu gave it his all, but fell to a Liger brainbuster.
Liger says Komatsu has some nice stuff, but all he needs is some experience. He’s interested in seeing how he incorporates new moves in future matches. Komatsu’s sole reply after the match was “Damn it”.
Mascara Dorada vs. Kushida
I was really excited to see this as the one match I wanted to see Mascara Dorada in last year was a singles match with Kushida. They’re both so immensely talented I thought for sure they’d tear the house down no matter what situation they were put in. This match ended up being really good, but unfortunately they weren’t given enough time to make this a really memorable match, with it only going eight minutes with Kushida getting the win with his hoverboard lock (kimura) submission.
Kushida says he debuted in Mexico ten years ago, and finally he had Lucha Libre eating out of his hand. Someday, he wants to make the Best of the Super Juniors bigger than the G1. Watch him climb up the ladder.
Gedo is interviewed. He says that he was surprised he was in the tournament this year, but he was last minute as Omega cancelled at the last minute. In terms of their upcoming match, he said he didn’t allow himself to be in awe of Taguchi so he was careful not to have him get the upper hand. He was surprised about being in the main event, and felt pressure about headlining, but they knew there were certain expectations for him, so he was a bit relieved, especially since Okada was on commentary nearby.
Gedo vs. Ryusuke Taguchi
This was pretty good. You’re not going to get anything flashy with these two, but Gedo is one of the most underrated juniors in the divison as he can have a great match by doing very little. It’s nice to see these kinds of matches every once in awhile as you don’t have to kill yourself every time you step into the ring; it’s simple as just knowing your audience and knowing what works. Taguchi had the ring bell hammer and as the ref was taking it away from him, Gedo low blowed him and used the Gedo clutch for the win.
Taguchi said “oh my penny” and this this was the most “Oh my and Garfunkel” moment ever. He sincerely hopes his son feels better later tonight. I have no idea what he meant.
Gedo made fun of Okada during their interview, saying he thought he couldn’t win, and said so earlier. Okada only said he thought he would win two in a row. Gedo said they’ll both be champions in Osaka. Since Taguchi is favored to win his block, winning tonight gives him confidence. Gedo says there’s no doubt Okada will win the title from AJ at Osaka Jo Hall, and reiterated he’ll beat Kenny Omega in the same building.
Gedo reiterated that he thought Taguchi looked goofy, but had to not be in awe so that he could get into his rhythm. He said his win gave great atmosphere in that anyone ould advance. He mentions how other promotions don’t have a junior heavyweight class (well, I know at least All Japan and NOAH have one, but true for the most part in North America) so for many, the best way to get noticed is by going to New Japan.
—– Nice highlight show this week. Next week features the Kyle O’Reilly/KUSHIDA match which was all kinds of awesome, so check it out if you haven’t yet.
The BIG News: Sami Zayn will face the debuting Shinsuke Nakamura at Takeover: Dallas
The Medium News: Bayley will defend her championship against Asuka at the afore-mentioned Takeover: Dallas show
The Little News: American Alpha became the new #1 Contender’s to the NXT Tag Team Title and will theoretically face The Revival at Takeover: Dallas
Sami Zayn is out to kick off the show. I wonder when they taped this segment since theoretically it was taped minutes after the last show ended, but Sami looked refreshed.
Zayn put Joe over, but said his focus is still the same and his goal is to still become a 2x NXT Champion. One thing does bother Zayn and that’s that he does not have a match at Takeover: Dallas.
This brought out Mr. William Regal, who agreed that Sami deserves something special at Takeover and he deserves to face one of the best in the world. Mr. Regal announced Sami Zayn vs Shinsuke Nakamura for Takeover. Now I can officially say how much I am marking out.
They had a video with Nakamura saying he will see Zayn at Takeover. The fans chanted “Holy sh*t” as the announcers put over Nakamura huge.
The Hype Bros defeated Angelo Dawkins & Kevin Crawford
They announced American Alpha vs Vaudevillians for later. They did that last week and instead the opening match went 45 minutes. I will go out on a limb and say this match will not go that long.
Dawkins and Crawford looked good working with Ryder. Mojo still hasn’t improved to do more than just the basic Mojo spots. Mojo did break out a discus punch to the face and the Bros won with a Hype Ryder in decidedly less than 45 minutes.
-Dana Brooke and Emma were walking backstage when Deonna Purrazzo suddenly appeared. Emma told her the beating she’s going to get tonight is worst than the one Asuka gave her. Deonna said she would win and the heels laughed at her.
Emma submitted Deonna Purrazzo
Could they please change Deonna Purrazzo’s name? This match was not very good and downright clumsy at times. I know it’s important to get new girls on tv, but I feel bad if Purrazzo is the best of the next group of girls.
The entire match seemed to telegraph a flash pin for Purrazzo. Emma hit several big moves and wouldn’t go for falls and act so cocky. Plus the announcers were blatantly pointing this out. It was all set up for Purrazzo to pin Emma, but before that happened Emma submitted her with the Emma Lock.
Tommaso Ciampa defeated Jesse Sorensen
Ciampa stampeded to the ring and got there before the ring announcer even introduced him. Ciampa ran across the ring and hit move after move on Sorensen. Ciampa hit a running knee in the corner and a discus clothesline for a 2 count.
They went to the mandatory rest hold before Sorensen made his comeback. Sorensen went for the 10 punches of doom, but Ciampa tripped him up and kneed him in the head. On the mat Ciampa hit several knees to the head before submitting Jesse with a rolling armbar.
Bayley & Asuka defeated Eva Marie & Nia Jax
Izzy, the little girl who dresses like Bayley, was now moved to dead center in the front row, as opposed to by the ramp. I only noted that because Bayley didn’t go over near her and the announcers didn’t even bring it up. Nia started the match, Eva tagged in and quickly got caught in the ring with Asuka. I never felt so bad for Eva as Asuka beat the heck out of her.
Nia blind tagged herself in and they got the heat on the champ when Nia laid her out with a Samoan Drop. Eva did that wacky stretch where you pull your opponents arms behind her back with your knee pressed into the back, but Eva forgot the second part.
Eva slapped Asuka on the apron and then Nia accidentally legdropped Eva. This was not Eva’s night. Eva got a kick to the back of the head by Asuka before being pinned with a Belly to Bayley Suplex.
– After the match Mr. Regal walked out, congratulating both Bayley and Asuka on winning before booking them against each other for Takeover.
– We had a split screen interview where the announcers interviewed Austin Aries. Aries said he is happy to be here, but it’s too bad his debut got ruined by Baron Corbin. Aries said he told Mr. Regal, who apologized, that he should feel sorry for Baron. Aries said Baron will soon find out why Aries is the greatest man who ever lived.
In a NXT tag team #1 Contender’s Match, American Alpha defeated The Vaudevillians
Main event time! One of these two teams will become the #1 Contender’s to the NXT Tag Team Championship while the other team will move to the back of the line. Corey Graves alerted us to Dan Gable recently giving props to Chad Gable.
Gable and Gotch worked really well together and made me wish I could see a match just between the two of them. Coming back from commercial the heels had cut off Gable and were wearing him down. The crowd wasn’t dead for this match, but they weren’t as psyched as they have been for Gable in the past.
Jordan hot tagged in and suplexed everyone on their heads. Gable tagged himself in and had English pinned with Chaos Theory, but Gable broke it up. Jordan gave Gable a belly to belly overhead suplex on the floor and American Alpha won with Grand Amplitude.
That does it for this week! Takeover is now 16 days away and the card is fricking amazing. Until next week when Asuka faces Emma, remember to say your vitamins and take your prayers.
Nattie is doing her mother’s make-up. She does a horrible job. She sends her sister to put make-up on her dad. She takes a picture with her mom. It takes her a long time to take the picture. Her mom’s make-up ends up looking ok.
In Los Angeles. Everyone is getting ready for Hell in a Cell. Nikki fights Charlotte and loses. Nikki is sad but she feels like she is passing the torch.
Nattie, Rosa, and Mandy are at a really fancy restaurant for lunch. They are drinking Perrier. Business people on lunch meetings order lunch around them. Nattie is worried about Rosa because Rosa gets hurt easily. Nattie, who has long been considered the worst advice giver in the whole world and throughout all space and time, advises Rosa to hide her feelings from her fiancé.
Back at Nattie’s house, she looks at old photos with Neidhart and Tyson. Neidhart tells everyone about how he was asked to mate with Russian shot-putters. Nattie would like to have her whole family dress up in pink and write messages on their shirt that say Team Anvil and then take a picture of it. Her mom thinks that is a great idea. Nattie loves taking pictures of herself. She wishes she had more photos than she has. She teaches her family how to take photos. Tyson is annoyed.
Rosa doesn’t want her fiancé to go to Las Vegas. She thinks he’s going to cheat on her. He’s going to Vegas for his t-shirt business. Rosa is so pissed.
Now everyone is in San Diego. Nattie touches R-Truth’s nipple. Mandy asks Nikki what’s up. Carrano shows up and touches Nikki’s shoulder. They walk to a doctor and Nikki learns she has to go off the road. She’s really upset. Nikki doesn’t want to be forgotten. Nikki has a real fear of abandonment. I’m pretty sure it has to do mostly with her father leaving and her grandfather dying. Nikki goes to Tampa to start physical therapy. The physical therapist tells her she has to wear a brace.
Nattie’s family comes over and they strategize costumes for their family photo, which is scheduled to be taken the next day. It’s not going how Nattie wants. She wants the family to act like royalty. She is disappointed because they are acting like a bunch of baboons. She tries to teach her family how to take pictures. They are doing a horrible job learning.
Nikki tells her mom about how she doesn’t want to be forgotten. Nikki and her mom joke about Nikki having sex with John Cena. She calls John and asks him to help her heal. He says ok.
Back in California, Rosa and Mandy are going to the beach. Rosa is so bummed about her fiancé going to Las Vegas. She looks on Instagram and sees that he is at a pool party. This weird dude comes out of nowhere and tells her that her fiancé is probably being bad. Rosa tries to call him and it goes to voicemail. The weird dude tells her that everyone is humping her fiancé. Mandy tries to distract Rosa with activities.
Nikki shows up at Cena’s gym. The trainer tells her she drinks too much. Nikki doesn’t want to hear that. Cena takes Nikki’s phone away from her. He doesn’t think she is working hard enough.
Mandy and the two weird boys show up at Rosa’s house. Rosa is feeling neglected. Her fiancé calls. He’s jealous of the photo he saw where she’s with the two weird guys who are actually Mandy’s brothers. They have an awkward conversation. He’s pissed. Rosa’s pissed. Mandy’s pissed because she feels like she is being used. And oh wow… they are at an amazing looking Japanese restaurant. Rosa tells the waiter what she likes and doesn’t like. Mandy tells Rosa she needs to relax. Rosa tells her that she’s been hurt a lot. She has a hard time trusting people. The weird brothers try to give her advice.
Back in Tampa, it’s time for the scheduled photograph. Nattie’s family shows up and Nattie hates the costumes. Nattie specifically told her sister, “No wine,” but her sister thinks wine is ok. She gives the photographer wine. They take pictures, and Nattie is so pissed. Tyson is really good at taking pictures. Nattie’s sister drops her glass of wine. Nattie is pissed. Tyson hates that Nattie is snapping her fingers at everyone. Later that afternoon, Nattie is sulking in the bedroom. Tyson tells her she can pick her nose but she can’t pick her family. Nattie is so pissed. Tyson tells her to lighten up and Nattie realizes she was acting like a mutant. Nattie goes downstairs and takes a selfie with everyone. That one simple selfie means more to Nattie than any professionally photographed shot ever could.
Cena, Nikki, and her mom are at a bomb ass looking restaurant. They spell grill with an e… Grille. Cena tells Nikki she can only have one glass of wine. Oh no you didn’t. Nikki is pissed. Nikki complains that Cena is a buzzkill. Cena is so mad that Nikki is drinking more than one glass of wine. John Cena hates weakness.
Rosa’s fiancé gets home. Rosa wants to have a one on one talk. I think her fiancé has a secret and I think he’s going to tell her now. He’s really upset that she was posting photos with the weird boys. She’s pissed that he went to a pool party and looked like he was having fun. He tells her he was in Las Vegas because he was looking for rings for Rosa. She cries and hugs him. She tells him she hasn’t told him about all the trauma she had. He tells her she’s got to get over that. He’s wearing a cutoff hoodie without anything underneath. He has a lot of tattoos.
Back at Cena’s house, Nikki turns on the fireplace. Cena tells her to put on the neck brace. She doesn’t want to. Nikki tells Cena he’s acting like a father. Nikki asked him to be her coach and now she’s pissed because he is such a buzzkill. Cena is super-chill, but if you ask him to help you then he expects you to take it as seriously as he does and if you don’t, you let him down. If John Cena was helping me, I’m 100% positive I wouldn’t let him down. I would make him so proud of me. Nikki tells him he is being overbearing. Her mom tells Nikki that Cena was being cool and Nikki was being whack about the whole thing. She tells Nikki to give him a hug and apologize. Nikki goes into Cena’s cigar room and apologizes to him. He tells her he doesn’t want to be a bummer or anything but she asked him for help and he felt put in a tough spot. He tells her he doesn’t want to be her coach anymore because he hates having to be a buzzkill. Nikki tries to make putting on her neck brace a sex act with Cena. That’s the show.
On last week’s Impact, “The Destroyer” Lashley defeated Kurt Angle in Angle’s final match in TNA. After the match, Lashley continued to beat down the Olympic Gold Medalist until Ethan Carter III made the save and Lashley backed off.
Tonight:
TNA returns to Orlando for a semi-live edition of Impact. Impact airs on a two-hour tape delay, which is the closest to live that TNA gets. In the main event, TNA World Champion Matt Hardy will defend his title against Ethan Carter III. Finally, coming back to the action, Jeff Hardy makes his return to TNA and will take on Eric Young. Additionally, “Miracle” Mike Bennett and “The First Lady of Professional Wrestling” Maria Kanellis face off against the team of Drew Galloway and Knockouts Champion, Gail Kim in an exciting mixed tag team match.
Show Recap:
-Josh Matthews and The Pope welcome us to the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida. We kick the night off with Jeff Hardy making his return to TNA.
-Backstage, Eric Young is going nuts and is looking for TNA President Dixie Carter. He finds her at the Gorilla Position and he promises to hurt Jeff Hardy. EY tells Dixie that what he does to Jeff is on her.
Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff and EY brawl around ringside with Jeff dominating the early moments. Jeff is seeking revenge after EY piledrove Jeff on the steel steps prior to the tour in the U.K. Dixie comes out and announces that the winner of this match will be added to the TNA World title main event later.
Jeff goes for a springboard splash to the outside, but EY gets his knees up to gain the advantage. Jeff is over huge with the live crowd. They trade shots in the middle of the ring and Jeff gets the better of EY. Jeff hits the classic swanton bomb and scores the pin fall. Jeff is added to tonight’s main event making it TNA World Champion Matt Hardy defending against both EC3 and Jeff Hardy in a triple threat.
TNA World Champion Matt Hardy, his wife Reby and son Maxell make their way to the ring without bodyguard Tyrus.
-Back from commercial, we’re in the ring with the Hardy family. Matt congratulates Jeff for his victory and apologies for not saving him when Eric Young piledrove him on the steel steps. Reby tells Jeff that Jeff is Maxell’s second favorite wrestler. Jeff holds Maxell and the crowd chants “Uncle Jeff”. Suddenly, the tables turn when Matt asks Jeff to bow out of the main event tonight. Matt promises to give Jeff a title shot down the line, maybe at Bound for Glory 2017 or 2018. Jeff doesn’t agree to the deal and ends up hitting Matt Hardy with the Twist of Fate.
-Backstage, Eddie Edwards address Davey’s injury and title loss last week. A commotion sturs as Decay jumps Eddie, beating him into the ground.
-Still in the back, “Miracle” Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis promise to beat Drew Galloway and Gail Kim next.
-Back from commercial, Beer Money approaches Eddie Edwards and wants to help him gain revenge on The Decay.
-In the arena, Maria Kanellis introduces “Miracle” Mike Bennett. Both come out wearing hot pink, and to be honest both look pretty hot.
“Miracle” Mike Bennett & “The First Lady of Professional Wrestling” Maria Kanellis vs. Drew Galloway & Knockouts Champion Gail Kim
Gail wants to start the match with Maria, but Maria tags out quickly. Drew and Mike start off the match, but Drew tags in Gail. They double-team The Miracle, and not in a fun way. Gail ends up taking out Bennett and sends him to the outside. Maria takes the chance to gain the advantage on Gail. Gail makes a comeback, but Maria quickly tags out again.
Maria slaps Drew in the face and Drew does the gentlemanly thing and chopped the hell out of Mike instead of hitting Maria. Drew went to the top, and then Mike pulled him off. Maria tried to prevent Drew from tagging Gail; instead Gail furiously came into the ring and ran wild. She hit eat defeat on Bennett, but then got rolled up from behind by Maria for the three count. The Miracle and The First Lady of Pro Wrestling get the victory.
-Next we get a video package on the Kurt Angle vs. Lashley main event last week. Josh tells us that he’s going to interview the man the ruined Angle’s retirement last week next in the ring.
-Back from commercial, Josh Matthews is in the ring. He briefly discusses Kurt Angle’s retirement from TNA from last week before introducing “The Destroyer” Lashley. Basically, Lashley is a fighter and is not looking for friends. Josh asks Lashley why he would attack his friend and mentor Kurt after the match. Lashley says he has no friends. Crowd chants “Lashley Sucks”. Lashley gets mad at Josh and ends up throwing Josh around the ring. Lashley sets up for the spear, but The Pope leaves the announce booth and stops Lashley from spearing Josh. Pope gets Josh out of the ring, but then Lashley hits the spear on The Pope. This got a ton of heat from the crowd.
-In the back, Decay cut a promo on Beer Money and The Wolves.
-Back from commercial, Jeremy Borash replaces The Pope and joins Josh on commentary.
-Backstage, EC3 approaches Jeff Hardy and mentions that Matt has pulled a surprise on him in each of their previous encounters. He’s implies that he doesn’t trust Jeff. Jeff is out to win the TNA world title.
TNA Tag Champions Beer Money (Bobby Roode & James Storm) and Eddie Edwards vs. Decay (Abyss, Crazy Steve & Rosemary)
Rosemary is going to be Abyss and Crazy Steve’s partner in this match. The babyfaces get the early advantage until the heels are able to isolate Roode in their corner. Rosemary comes in and hits Roode with some shots before tagging back out. Roode makes the hot tag to James Storm. Storm runs wild on Crazy Steve and tags in Eddie who also goes nuts in the ring. Eddie hits a dive to the outside on Abyss. Roode and Storm went to hit the double suplex on Rosemary, but Crazy Steve pulls her out of the ring. The crowd booed this, as they really wanted to see her get the double suplex. Rosemary spits the mist into Roode’s eyes and Steve rolls up Eddie for the win.
-Backstage, Grado is seen talking to Billy Corgan. Billy tells him that they’re going to settle this issue with Eli Drake, in the ring.
-Back from commercial, Matt Hardy and Reby approach Dixie. They argue back and forth about tonight’s main event. Basically, Matt and Reby are mad that Jeff is in the match and Dixie does everything for the fans. Like an idiot, Matt reveals his plan to Dixie that he’s just going to punch the referee in the face and get disqualified. Predictably, Dixie makes the triple threat a no dq and no count out match.
-We get a video package recapping the Feast or Fired briefcase situation between Eli Drake and Grado. Eli Drake makes his way down to the ring. He demands Billy Corgan brings out his Feast or Fired Briefcase which Grado stole. Eli brings up Donald Trump to get some cheap heat.
We see a video of Eli Drake switching the Feast or Fired Briefcase. Billy Corgan and Grado come down to the ring and Billy claims that the evidence isn’t clear of what Eli is doing. So Billy announces that Grado will face Eli in a ladder match with Grado’s new contract hanging from the ceiling. If Eli gets to it first he can tear the contract up.
Ladder Match for Grado’s Contract: Grado vs. Eli Drake
With zero promotion, we get a ladder match for Grado’s contract. Eli dominates Grado in the early moments of the match. Grado sends Eli into the ladder and starts to climb up. Jesse Godderz comes out and push’s the ladder over sending Grado crashing to the mat. Mahabali Shera makes the save and sends Godderz to the outside. Inside the ring, Grado dives off the ladder onto Eli, Shera and Jesse on the outside. This gets a “This Is awesome” chant from the crowd. Grado hits the electric chair on Eli off the ladder. The crowd was a bit dead at the start of the match, but now they’re going crazy and chanting for Grado. Grado and Eli are at the top of the ladder battling for the contract. Grado knocks Eli off and pulls down the contract.
Surprisingly, this short match ended up being pretty good and the ending got a great reaction from the crowd.
-Back from commercial and in the back, Eric Young is mad at Bram for not helping him earlier in the night. Suddenly in the background Willow (who is Jeff Hardy’s alter ego) made an appearance and disappeared. EY freaked out and pointed him out to Bram.
TNA World Champion Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy
As Jeff made his way down to the ring, Josh made absolutely no mention of Jeff’s alter ego Willow appearing in the back. EC3 gets a decent reaction from the crowd as he comes down to the ring. Matt comes out alone. Match starts off with EC3 and Jeff taking turns stomping Matt in the corner. Matt jumps EC3 and sends him in the other direction. Matt wants to do the old Hardy Boys double team move in the corner, but Jeff refuses. He does it with EC3 instead. Matt and Jeff briefly work together to take out EC3, but soon turn on each other, just like old times. EC3 hits a powerslam on Jeff off the top, and then a beautiful looking drop kick on Matt.
Back from commercial, Matt Hardy takes out EC3 and he rolls out of the ring. In the ring, Jeff and Matt exchange shots in the center. Jeff gets the better of Matt until EY and Bram interfere. They throw Jeff to the outside where EY hits another piledriver on Jeff. Jeff is apparently out of the match as officials take him to the back. EC3 gets back to his feet and attacks Matt. EC3 is beating Matt all over the ring when Rockstar Spud and Tyrus run down. EC3 gives Tyrus a huge Samoan drop, which sends Tyrus to the outside. EC3 press slams Spud onto Tyrus on the outside. EC3 hits the one percenter, but “Miracle” Mike Bennett interferes breaking up the pin. Bennett and EC3 brawl into the crowd. Bennett beats EC3 down with violent chair shots. EC3 is apparently out of the match as well as officials are helping EC3 to the back. The match is over.
Matt takes the mic and said that he told everyone that he was going to leave as the TNA World Champion. Suddenly, Drew Galloway comes out and he cashes in his Feast or Fired Briefcase and World Title shot.
TNA World Champion Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway
The match is official and underway. They trade shots briefly, until Drew hits the claymore and then hits the Futureshock DDT for the pin! Drew Galloway is the NEW TNA World Champion! The crowd actually went nuts for Drew coming out and popped huge for the title change. Drew celebrates his win in the crowd. The show ends with Drew Galloway celebrating his title win
Final Thoughts:
Ratings for TNA on POP TV have been down and declining for the most part. However, TNA has attempted to put on a fun and exciting show since coming to POP TV. This week’s show was a good effort by the company. The show featured a good triple threat main event and then a thrilling surprise with Drew winning the World title. The title change came across good on TV and felt like somewhat of a big deal.
Next Week on TNA Impact:
On next week’s show, Beer Money has issued an open challenge to any TNA tag team for a shot at their belts. Also, the aftermath of Drew Galloway’s title win.
Three weeks from WrestleMania and it’s all hands on deck in time for the final push towards the biggest show of the year. After a two week absence to sell his broken nose, Roman Reigns will return tonight in Pittsburgh to resume the build for his main event against HHH. Shane McMahon and the Undertaker are also scheduled. The New Day are scheduled to defend the World Tag Team titles against Alberto Del Rio and Rusev. Plus, Sami Zayn made his return last week and is expected to build for his presumed match against Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship. Plus, Chris Jericho, A.J. Styles, Charlotte, Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks.
Our coverage starts at 8 ET.
The Big News: Shane McMahon and Undertaker had their first face-to-face confrontation since the WrestleMania main event was announced. It ended with Undertaker chokeslamming Shane after Vince sacrificed his own son, but Undertaker gave Vince a mean stare afterwards. Dolph Ziggler became the latest on the long line of wrestlers that HHH buried. Stephanie buried him in an interview segment, and HHH buried him in a match. Other matches official for WrestleMania include the League of Nations vs. the New Day for the tag team titles and Kalisto vs. Ryback for the U.S. Championship.
The New Day started the show with a new box of Booty O’s in Kofi Kingston’s hands. No 20 minute promo tonight as Alberto Del Rio and Rusev came out for the tag team championship match.
WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day defeated Rusev and Alberto Del Rio to retain (13:37)
It was Big E. and Xavier Woods representing the New Day. Woods pinned Rusev with a schoolboy cradle. Rusev hit a superkick on Woods while Big E. was laid out with a double foot stomp by Alberto Del Rio, but Woods kicked out in a good near fall. Kingston distracted Rusev for the finish. The match tried to make New Day into total babyfaces. Big E. did a good comeback sequence with repeated belly-to-belly suplexes on Rusev, which is now called the Booty-to-Belly. Pretty good match, though you would think that since the fans have wanted to turn New Day for months, they would rally around them once they finally did. But they were dead for this one.
Postmatch, Sheamus and King Barrett joined in for a total beatdown of the New Day. Barrett even got to pull out the Bullhammer elbow on Kingston. Rusev delivered the Accolade on Woods, and Del Rio delievered the Double Foot Stomp off the top. Sheamus gave Big E. the Brogue Kick. Appears a rematch is coming at WrestleMania.
Dean Ambrose came out after losing to HHH at Road Block. Ambrose admitted he ade a mistake against HHH on Saturday night, but that’s fine because he lives by his sword and he dies by his sword. He told anyone to ask how HHH how he’s feeling right now because it ain’t gonna be good. That would have made sense later in the show if HHH came out selling something. Instead, HHH came out 30 minutes later looking no worse for wear. Oh well, if he can’t change after 15 years, why start now?
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out.
Heyman said he was the voice of reason because that was the only thing that was saving Ambrose from a beating. Ambrose dared Heyman to let the beast off his leash. Heyman said any fight that features Lesnar is the main event, and he didn’t want to ruin the main event of WrestleMania. He got on his knees and begged Ambrose not to provoke Lesnar because if he came down to the ring, Ambrose wouldn’t make it to WrestleMania. Then there wouldn’t be anyone left for Lesnar to wrestle because Ambrose was the only one crazy enough to want to fight Lesnar.
Ambrose again dared Lesnar to come to the ring, but Heyman held him back and put over Lesnar with his standard platitudes. Heyman went to the back, but Lesnar didn’t. He walked down to the ring. Ambrose pulled out a crowbar. Lesnar didn’t back down despite Heyman’s objections and circled the ring. Lesnar charged the ring, but Ambrose went after him with the crowbar. Lesnar dropped down, looked menancingly at Ambrose and they cut to a break. Fans really don’t seem to know how to approach this program because they want to cheer both men.
Ryabck defeated Sin Cara (4:12)
Ryback won after giving Sin Cara two shellshocks, the second of which he did staring at Kalisto at ringside. The new gimmick for Ryback is he’s a good big guy who will always win over a good little guy. He challenged Kalisto to a U.S. Championship match at WrestleMania. It would help if the good little guy was over. Instead, when he tried to get a “Lucha” chant going, the fans started chanting “We want tables.” Ryback’s turn has also fallen on indifferent ears.
They have a new sponsorship with Burger King grilled dogs, so they showed past promos with Mad Dog Vachon, Junkyard Dog and Road Dog Jesse James.
Stephanie McMahon came out to shocking little reaction.
Like her father, she didn’t look happy about it. She introduced HHH, who she said handily defeated Ambrose at Road Block. HHH came out selling nothing and said Ambrose failed because the Authority always wins. He said hope is not a strategy, but it’s how fans relate to Ambrose and Roman Reigns, because they hope they’re the ones who can end the reign of the Authority. HHH saved his boring 20-minute promo for the 9 o’clock hour, saying people hope they get a job once they get out of high school, hope they get a promotion, hope they get a raise, but it never comes.
HHH said the fans were all failures and they cut to a shot of fans at ringside. You could see their boredom. HHH went on and on forever in his worst promo in recent memory. He said Reigns will fail at WrestleMania. Reigns got a mixed reaction. He said the Authority always wins. Dolph Ziggler came out wearing a pink shirt and black blazer. Stephanie said “Speaking of failures.”
Ziggler said he knows his place, and it’s in the ring busting his ass for the fans. Stephanie treated him like a joke, saying he was pandering “Cena-esque.” Stephanie said he wasn’t that good. Ziggler wondered if Stephanie was going to threaten to fire him. He realized he has nothing left to lose. He vowed never to quit. Ziggler said he and Ambrose were screwed by the system, the Authority’s system. But they weren’t failures. Ziggler dared Stephanie to fire him. HHH stepped in and said firing him wouldn’t be good for business. The fans loved Ziggler because he was a loveable loser, just like the fans. HHH said Ziggler didn’t have to be a loser, he could be great, but he didn’t have the right people backing him up. Maybe he could get everything he wanted out of life if he got the right advice.
Ziggler said he wouldn’t side with HHH and Stephanie if they were the last two people on Earth. Ziggler called Stephanie “egomanical, tyranical.” Stephanie slapped him and offered him any match at WrestleMania if he could win his match tonight. Stephanie said Ziggler wouldn’t win the match and she would break his spirit tonight. Stephanie said Ziggler would face HHH, who looked a little surprised at that announcement, but not hesistant to wrestle. On the bright side, I didn’t think I would watch anything this week more interminable and less entertaining that yesterday’s Selection Sunday show, but this segment proved me wrong. In less than 24 hours, to boot. I really miss the days when wrestling was fun.
Sami Zayn defeated The Miz (7:13)
Kevin Owens was on commentary. Sami Zayn did a Somersault tope on the Miz. Owens got up and started jawing with him. Miz jumped Owens from behind. Michael Cole explained that was because Owens walked out on the Miz during a tag team match on SmackDown. Owens distracted Miz, oddly enough, which led to Zayn pinning Miz with the Helluva Kick.
Renee Young did a promo with the League of Nations. Del Rio said they sent a message to the New Day. Rusev said no one was laughing now. Sheamus challenged New Day to a match at WrestleMania.
They announced Connor’s Cure would partner with the Jimmy V Foundation t fight cancer. Daniel Bryan, Brie Bella and that dasterdly heel Stephanie were all shown.
Naomi and Tamina defeated Brie Bella and Alicia Fox (2:39)
Our third distraction finish in four matches. Bella hit the Bella Buster on Naomi, but Tamina made the save. Lana (who came out just before the opening bell) distracted the referee while Naomi ran in and did a double team stuffed Michinoku Driver on Bella, and Tamina got the pin. Alicia Fox took a double superkick from Naomi and Tamina afterwards.
Social Outcasts did a product placement skit for Burger King.
Paige did an interview with Jojo when Lana walked in. Lana said Paige was a fool if she thought she was a successful diva. Lana said Paige was hanging around a lot of weak American friends. Paige said if Lana wanted to know what a real Diva does, she would show her. Naomi and Tamina backed up Lana and told Paige to watch her words more carefully. So it appears Lana, Naomi and Tamina have formed a group.
Charlotte and Ric Flair did a promo with Young. Charlotte said she knew Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch before they made the main roster. Charlotte said before Banks’ first match, she was holding her hair because she was throwing up in nervousness. Now, she walks around like she owns the place, but Charlotte still sees a scared little girl. Charlotte said Lynch was always the third wheel. Flair said Charlotte called him after two weeks at NXT and told him there were two girls here who are going to be great, and Charlotte said she had to be better. Charlotte said she was better, and she had the Divas Championship to prove it. Charlotte, Lynch and Banks will have a sit-down conversation at SmackDown, and Charlotte said they would learn on Thursday they couldn’t run from their past.
The Usos defeated Bo Dallas and Adam Rose (1:54)
The Dudley Boyz were at ringside. Jey Uso pinned Bo Dallas after a splash. They continue the Usos-Dudleys program.
Ambrose was in the back when Mick Foley showed up. This was the highlight of the show. Foley wanted to know why Ambrose wanted to fight Lesnar at WrestleMania. Ambrose asked Foley if he was scared when he was on top of the Hell in a Cell (right there, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) in 1998 against the Undertaker? Foley said he was. Ambrose asked him why did he keep going? Foley said because he was Mick Foley, and that’s what he does. Ambrose said he’s Dean Ambrose, and this is what he does. Foley then took the crowbar out of Ambrose’s hands and gave him a gift box, which was to symbolize a passing of the torch. Ambrose pulled out a barbed-wire baseball bat. Foley is one of the greatest talkers and actors of all time. With Foley, Steve Austin, Rock Shawn Michaels and HHH in 1998, it’s easy to see why Vince Russo could look successful. It’s hard to lose when you’re dealt a royal flush.
WWE Champion HHH defeated Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match (17:28)
Good match where Ziggler got lots of near falls after a Famouser and various superkicks. HHH finally won clean as a sheet with the Pedigree because…of course he did. Largely buried Ziggler. Since it was Pittsburgh and Kurt Angle rumors were flying, the fans seemed disappointed with the finish.
Reigns came out afterwards. It was supposed to be his be revenge spot, but he got booed loudly. They still had one hell of a brawl, though. It started at the announcer’s table, where Reigns did the spot that HHH did to him three weeks ago of repeatedly ramming HHH’s head into the table. Charles Robinson and other referees came out to stop him, but Reigns shoved him down. HHH hit Reigns with a can of soda, which fizzed everywhere. Reigns sold it for a moment, then came right back with a right hand.
They brawled to the pyrotechnic area, where Reigns threw a huge toolbox and HHH that resulted in hardway blood. It ended up backstage, where Jamie Noble, Jack Swagger, the Usos and Mark Henry tried to break it up. Reigns hit HHH with a HDTV. HHH threw a trashcan at Reigns, who came back with a bigger trashcan. It finally ended when HHH and the Usos stepped in. Good brawl, but the fans still aren’t warming up to Reigns.
Jacqueline was announced as the newest member of the WWE Hall of Fame.
Goldust walked around backstage when he stumbled upon someone dressed in a penguin mascot. It was R-Truth, who explained that when he grew up in the hood, the closest thing they had to a penguin as a 17-year-old pigeon with a limp. Truth heard that when penguins mate, they stay together forever. He asked Goldust to be his penguin, or his tag partner. Goldust smiled and said no. Truth said that was cold, then put the costume back on and wiggled around.
Chris Jericho came out and did a heel interview saying the fans chose A.J. Styles over him. Jericho said Styles wasn’t as good as fans thought he was, he was a hack, arrogant, in over his head, and last week he put Styles in his place. He had to show Styles who his daddy is, which is Jericho, who is the best in the world at what he does. Neville came out.
Neville defeated Chris Jericho by DQ (4:52)
Neville injured his left leg/ankle attempting a baseball slide through Jericho’s legs coming back from break. Jericho and Robinson very vocally audibled on how to get to the finish. Jericho put Neville in a schoolboy cradle, but Robinson stopped counting for no reason since Neville’s shoulders were still down. Robinson disqualified Jericho for pushing him. It appeared Jericho didn’t look happy with Robinson at all. Afterwards, Jericho got on the mic, ran down the crowd and Styles. This led to Styles coming out and giving Jericho a punch, followed by the springboard forearm, now called the Phenomenal Firearm, which will likely be his finisher.
Undertaker, Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon segment
Vince McMahon came out for the main event segment. Again, not much of a reaction. Seems that’s becoming a pattern. He even had Lillian Garcia introduce him again to get the pop he was looking for. He did the same promo he did last week about what would happen if Shane McMahon wins the Hell in a Cell match against the Undertaker. He said Shane will no longer want to be seen in public after he loses to Undertaker. The nice part is Vince won’t have to lay a glove on Shane to do his dirty work, the Undertaker will.
Undertaker came out. Vince told him not to put his hands on him ever again, referring to two weeks ago when Undertaker grabbed Vince by the throat. Undertaker took his jacket and hat off to big pops. Vince said Undertaker had a lapse of judgement, and Vince himself had a lapse of judgement for even bringing up the subject again so he apologized. Vince knew the Undertaker wouldn’t mind getting his hands dirty in leaving Shane in a pool of blood. Vince said some might call this an unholy alliance, but he calls it what’s best for business.
Shane came out to, by far and away, the most tepid reaction since his return. Shane said his father was definitely not what’s best for business anymore. Shane said he finds himself in match of a lifetime against the Undertaker. He’s figured out a way to beat the Undertaker. He basically said he was going to stick and move, turn his body into a 230-pound weapon, and use his heart because he’s fighting for his children, the fans’ children and the legacy of the WWE.
Undertaker said it still wouldn’t be enough. Undertaker said he has these, holding up his fists. It’s his legacy. Shane said for the last 25 years, Undertaker has carried the company on his back. That’s why he was surprised that Undertaker is dancing around like a puppet while his father controls the puppet’s strings. Undertaker said no one controls him. Shane says he sees it differently. Shane said he had the misfortune of being Vince’s son, but Undertaker was now Vince’s bitch.
Undertaker grabbed Shane by the throat, but Shane skipped out the backdoor and threw punches that Taker really didn’t sell at all. Shane did the Shane O’Mac shuffle, but Vince threw Shane into the Undertaker, who gave him a choke slam. Vince taunted Shane as he was laid out on the canvas, but then Undertaker looked at Vince. It’s amazing how little body movement it takes by Undertaker and Vince to get a reaction. Undertaker just turned his head at Vince. Vince moved his eyes three times realizing the Undertaker was glaring at him with bad intentions, and it got more of a reaction than anything on the show. Vince rolled out of the ring as Undertaker walked towards him. Vince smiled in delight as Shane writhed in pain, but Undertaker was engaged in a staredown with Vince.
Final Thoughts:
Behind the scenes, Vince is playing Shane against HHH and Stephanie. Vince is trying to prove he’s not out of touch, even though he’s lost 75% of his audience in the last 17 years. HHH is running NXT, which has garnered the following of hardcore fans, but Vince doesn’t think he can make any of the NXT wrestlers stars. There’s internal heat on HHH for not selling the Reigns injury, and tonight he did one of his classic HHH burial jobs on Ziggler. And I’m supposed to care about WrestleMania when all this is going on behind the scenes? You tell me, which sounds like more intriguing developments to follow? As for this show, Pittsburgh has long had the reputation of being a city of dead crowds, and tonight continued that reputation. Closing hour was interesting.
