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Tag: Ladder Match

  • WWE TLC 3 – A look at the new December classic

    Tables, Ladders, and Chairs… Oh My! Part 3

    By: PeachMachine (@hendosfoodblog and @parkingcone)

    This week…

    TLC 3 – December 18, 2011 – Baltimore, Maryland – 1st Mariner Arena

    I’m actually looking forward to watching this show this week, as I know it can’t be three stinkers in a row.  The hype video to open the show was a really well written WWE version of The Night Before Christmas poem.  It’s only a two man announce crew tonight with The King and Cole having to fill the void of Matt Stryker. 

    Dark Match – Drew McIntyre defeated Alex Riley

    Zach Ryder defeated Dolph Ziggler (c) (with Vickie Guerrero) in a singles match for the US Championship

    • I’m predicting Zach gets axed in the post Mania clearinghouse this year.
    • We are in the middle of the “WWE must talk about twitter all the time” horrible period. 
    • Michael Cole just made as many social media references as he could. 
    • Vicki got booted for putting Dolph’s foot on the rope.  Why do refs allow anyone at ringside at anytime, ever?  What percentage of time does the person at ringside NOT get involved? 
    • This match is pretty good.  A lot of heat actually.  Too bad Zach accidentally got popular.
    • Ryder wins with the Rough Ryder.
    • I feel bad for Cole.  No way could he actually be that big of a dork.  He must hate himself.
    • Zach celebrated with his dad in the crowd. 

    Backstage, Alicia Fox chatted up Booker T until Cody Rhodes jumped him.  

    Air Boom (c) (Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne) defeated Primo and Epico (with Rosa Mendes) for the Tag Team Championship

    • Primo and Epico wore some sweet serapes to the ring.
    • The tag belts are awful.  They’re bronze.  “I’m the best at tag team wrestling.  If you don’t believe me, check out my bronze belt.”
    • King claims that Air Boom breaks the laws of Physics.  So, either Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston are wizards, or King doesn’t understand Physics.
    • Heat on Bourne is just an excuse to focus on Rosa’s, ahem, assets. 
    • Cole, “Air Boom is trending.  People are actually talking about the tag champs.” He really said that.
    • Why don’t tag matches ever end during the time of the match where two men are kicking the crap out of one? 
    • Air Boom wins with Trouble in Paradise

    Then there was a skit with Teddy Long as Santa and Hornswaggle as an elf.  They do some awful race relation’s humor, and then Swaggy gets a gift from Teddy, which is Rosetta Stone in Ebonics. I wonder if they’ll follow up with this angle and bring Hornswaggle back as a jive talking elf.

    Randy Orton defeated Wade Barrett in a tables match

    • Orton body watch:  He’s tanned out of this world, and jacked.  Definitely the best shape of his career to this point.
    • Your pretty standard table fare with a lot of brawling.  A better than average match.
    • The finish was Orton catching a diving Barrett in an RKO through a table. 

    Then we got another Santa skit with the Bella’s arguing over who was the good one.  Santa Teddy said they both were bad so Teddy gave them his card with his number.  Then Jack Swagger showed up and griped about Mark Henry.  Then Sheamus showed up and told us a story about someone getting their head in an arse. 

    Beth Phoenix (c) defeats Kelly Kelly

    • They replay the angle from the Slammy’s with Kelly Kelly winning Diva of the year.  Very prestigious.
    • Remember when these two quit WWE for no real reason?  Do you think they regret not being around for this amazing diva’s revolution? 
    • Women wrestlers can just go ahead and not make sound when selling.  It’s unsettling to hear Kelly Kelly screaming “no” and making horrible death noises while getting beaten up. 
    • Beth Phoenix wins clean after the Glam Slam.

    Alberto Del Rio is seen yelling at Ricardo when the Miz walks up to talk about their alliance.  Del Rio admits he was playing the Miz, so Miz has to take a dig at the Baltimore Ravens.  That ought to shut up world famous Baltimore Ravens fan Alberto Del Rio.  Then Ricardo come back with a pie or something and gets it shoved in his face.  They need to teach a WWE rules class at the performance center.  I’ll start a tally.  WWE Rule 1) Don’t carry a pastry anywhere.

    Booker T. vs. Cody Rhodes

    • Cody jumps Book before Book even gets to the ring and the doctors determine he is unfit to perform.  No match.

    HHH defeats Kevin Nash in a sledgehammer ladder match

    • Home Depot must have sponsored this match.   Actually, Home Depot should sponsor the whole PPV.
    • This was the ridiculous feud where Nash murdered HHH, as he laid unconscious strapped to a gurney. 
    • “The sledgehammer can be used legally to beat your opponent.” Announcer, real quote.
    • Nash comes out to the nWo music.
    • HHH spends the opening part destroying Nash’s legs, including a figure four around the ladder.  I think a higher percentage knee-destroying move on Kevin Nash would be to run an infinite crisscross.  It would be funny just to see these two in a race.  Quads vs. Knees.
    • Nash comes back and does his side slam on a ladder. 
    • Nobody has gone after the sledgehammer, because in a ladder match, you’ve already been supplied with plenty of alternate types of sledgehammers. 
    • HHH back drops Nash over the announcers’ table.
    • Here comes the table from under the ring.  So I guess tables are allowed in a sledgehammer ladder match.
    • HHH hits Nash in the head with the hanging sledge, and Nash takes a bump through the table.  That’s a decent bump for Nash. 
    • HHH starts the sledgehammer beating.  HHH connects with the pedigree and goes back to the sledge.  Nash, in desperation, throws up the click hand sign, and HHH responds with a crotch chop and a final sledge shot.  HHH wins.

    Strkyer interviewed CM Punk about the beating he took on Raw.  Punk’s promo was great.  He ran down everyone in the match, and Cole, and John Laurinitis.  Then Big Johnny showed up and they talk about the Slammy Punk was supposed to get.  Punk get’s in a “future endeavors” line, and then Johnny has to point out that he’s taller than Punk.  This company is so petty.

    Sheamus defeats Jack Swagger (with Vicki Guerrero)

    • Good thing these guys didn’t get along backstage earlier or we would not have this buffer match.
    • I guess they’re giving Vicki a second chance to behave herself.
    • Boring match.  Sheamus wins after the Brogue kick.

    Big Show defeats Mark Henry (c) in a Chairs match for the World Heavyweight Championship.

    • This was the feud where they did the ring implosion spot.
    • Show starts the match by making it rain chairs.
    • Henry had his ankle heavily taped. 
    • Show wins the title after delivering the Knock Out Punch through a chair.
    • Then Henry comes back and lays out Big Show with a DDT on the chairs.
    • I honestly wrote, “Mark Henry defeats Big Show” before watching the match because I couldn’t remember Show having a title run.  Then I remembered why…. Daniel Bryan runs in after the match and cashes in his Money in the Bank contract and pins the Big Show.
    • We just saw two title changes.

    Josh Matthews interviews Booker T and T says he’s going to fight Cody tonight!  Oh thank heavens we get that match tonight!  

    Cody Rhodes (c) defeats Booker T for the Intercontinental Championship

    • This is the storyline where Booker T had been retired for two years.  Was anyone dying for Booker T to come out of retirement?
    • I’ve never liked Booker T in any of his roles.  Ok, King Book was pretty good, but nothing else.  Well, I really liked when he and Goldust reviewed movies.  But that’s it. 
    • Cody wins after the Disaster kick, which Cole identified as, “another kick to the head.”

    CM Punk defeats Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez), and Miz, in a three way TLC match for the WWE Championship

    • Champions usually fare pretty well in three ways.  WWE loves declaring the 33% chance of winning, which is absolutely incorrect, unless of course Roxy Roxborough actually says it.
    • Punk starts climbing and as he does, Ricardo Rodriguez manages to handcuff Punk to a ladder. 
    • Punk broke free by breaking the ladder strut, to which he was attached.  In hindsight, the handcuffing was ridiculously unnecessary.
    • Del Rio delivers an enziguri on Punk and then Punk takes a bump through a table to the floor.
    • Why does Ricardo cut his hair so he looks like a vampire?
    • Del Rio gets up alone, with enough energy to dilly dally on the floor before easily setting up a ladder.  I guess he accidentally swallowed a Qualude somewhere in there, because as he steps on to the ladder, he lost the ability to move his muscles, and could not climb.
    • Rodriguez takes a bump off the ladder through a table on the floor.
    • Oh wait, now Miz handcuffs Punk to the turnbuckle which is ridiculous, but then Punk actually tries to reach for the belt, as if, maaaaaybe he can win the match from his knees attached to the ring post. 
    • Super Punk breaks free from the handcuffs a second time, climbs the ladder and dumps Del Rio, catches Miz in the GTS and climbs again to grab the belt, in really good TLC match.

    Analysis:  This show has been the best TLC to date.  The main event was very good.  The HHH match was pretty good.  The Air Boom match was short but fun, and everything else felt appropriately placed.  Even Big Show and Henry had a decent chairs match.  We saw Z Ry and D Bry win belts, and we may have seen Booker T’s last match.  I’d call that a thumbs up show. 

  • WWE TLC 2010 – A look at the New December Classic

    Tables, Ladders, and Chairs… Oh My! – Part 2

    By: PeachMachine (@hendosfoodblog and @parkingcone)

    This week…

    TLC 2 – December 19,2010 – Houston Texas – Toyota Center

    Dark Match – Daniel Bryan (c) defeated Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) for the WWE United States Championship

    • Not on the network, but let’s start our tally of current WWE employees versus goners – D. Bryan still with the company (barely), but DiBiase and Maryse are gone, so it’s 1-2.
    • U.S. Champion D. Bryan in the dark slot.  Ya. 

    Dolph Ziggler (c) defeated Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger in a triple threat ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

    • Stryker, Cole and Lawler again.  Cole has his Slammies.  Remember when the Slammies were real, or something like that?
    • Of the four performers involved in the first match, yes for Kofi, yes for Dolph, yes-ish for Swagger, and no for Vicki, so it’s 4-3.
    • A pretty average three way and a pretty average ladder match with a super flat finish of Dolph picking the title up off the ground that was dropped by Kofi and Swagger.

    Natalya and Beth Phoenix defeated LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) in a tag team tables match

    • Natalya is the only one still remaining, so we’re at 5 in and 6 out.
    • I’ve haven’t heard as many hi-yas in one place since my 6 year old birthday party where we all were dressed as ninjas.
    • Stryker just sounds like a complete dork.
    • I enjoyed the painted table because I have no idea if it was supposed to be flattering or insulting to LayCool.
    • I see why they haven’t done another one of these since.
    • The double Sharpshooter by Natalya actually looked pretty good.
    • Natalya having to do the cross body off the top because the table didn’t break made the ending at least enjoyable.

    Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov (c) defeated The Nexus (Justin Gabriel and Health Slater) (with Husky Harris and whatever Curtis Axel was before, something McGuillicutty?) by DQ for the WWE Tag Team Championship

    • Santino is not wrestling anymore, Kozlov is gone, Gabriel quit, Slater is a jobber, Harris is now Bray Wyatt, and Axelmania is, well, unclear at best.  That puts us at 8 on the roster and 9 not, and the biggest current player of this match is Husky Harris.
    • Remember Kozlov?

    John Morrison defeated King Sheamus in a ladder match to determine the number one contender to the WWE Championship

    • Wow, Michael Cole really stepping up his annoyingness putting himself over in this one.  Nothing I like more than hearing the announcers talk about how great they are personally.
    • Sheamus is still around, and Morrison is doing stand up comedy.  Who came out better?  9 still here, 10 gone. 
    • Let’s toss the announce team into our tally, so we have Cole and King still around and Stryker gone.  Now we’re even at 11. 
    • Pretty wild ladder match.  I like when they build stuff out of the ladders. 
    • Do you think Morrison really did Parkour?   Like in his free time, would he go run in the park and jump off of picnic tables?  Or did he just go to the gym like a normal person.
    • I like to think that all contract disputes are settled this way.  “Alright, we’ve acquired the Donaldson contract.  Let’s all thank Gary for winning that ladder match.”
    • Michael Cole, “That steel ladder bent in half!”  WWE Director, “And now lets got a shot of those wood shards from where the wooden section of the ladder broke.”
    • This is actually a dang good match.  Really fun stuff here.

    The Miz (c) (with Alex Riley) defeated Randy Orton in a tables match for the WWE Championship

    • Miz is still around and now wearing a cape, Orton is around but injured, and A-Ry?  MIA.  I can’t count him as a current roster member… Well I just checked the WWE Superstars page, and he’s there, so I have to count him.  14 yes – 11 no.  Oh wait, I forgot to add Josh Matthews to the no list.  14-12. 
    • I once pitched a tag team idea for Zach Ryder and Alex Riley.  They would have been called A Ri to Z Ry… And by pitched I mean, said to myself alone in the car and giggled. 
    • Did you do your Randy Orton body research from last week?  One day when I figure out how to screen shot something I’ll do it myself.  Nah, I won’t.  Regardless, he looks better in 2010 than 2009.  Bigger for sure.  And it looks like he finally got those wonderful tattoo sleeves completed. 
    • A Ry took the table bump and Miz put a lifeless Randy Orton through the remains, and Mike Chioda didn’t see it because he had been bumped. 
    • Chioda saw the replay on the big screen and restarted the match.  Let’s start the 90-second timer… Way less.
    • So now Orton falls off the apron and into a table and the match is over. 
    • So the ref can use replay but only if they happen to notice it.  It can’t be done officially, I guess.  Cole was yelling about how instant replay is illegal.
    • They showed a replay of Chioda watching the replay.  Whoa!  Trippy.

    Edge defeated Kane (c), Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) in a Fatal-4-Way TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship

    • Rosa Mendes and Del Rio chatted it up before the match.  Strangely, they are both still on the roster.
    • Edge is gone, Rey is gone, Ricardo is gone, Kane is now two people, but he’s fired.  Whatever.  17 yes and 15 no.
    • This is just after the “Edge is a psychopath father torture” angle. 
    • Edge took a ladder and threw it near the announcers and you could see Stryker do the “stop short” arm move for the King.  That was nice.
    • Then Stryker says that Edge chose the biggest ladder because of his experience.  Ok?
    • Some pretty inventive stuff here.  Rey jumped off one of the prop tables that were hung over the stage.
    • Ricardo took a big bump from Kane. 
    • This was a heck of a TLC match.  Just sort of brutal and realistic.  When the spots get too inventive, it takes me out of it.
    • It also takes me out of it when at the start of every ladder match the guys have to stare at the title longingly. 
    • Hellacious bump by Del Rio coming off the big ladder through a table out of the ring.
    • Kane’s back up and looks to have a trickle of blood on his head.  Better go to that wide shot.
    • Edge spanked Kane with a chair.
    • Remember the Con-Chair-To?
    • Kane took a pretty solid bump to the floor through a table after a spear by Edge.
    • Really excellent TLC match. 

    An unbelievably embarrassingly bad comedy Santa skit…

    • Dashing Cody Rhodes came out to speak.  He’s still on the roster, sort of.  18 and 15. 
    • Fat material.  Jowl puns.  Wow.
    • Michael Cole’s fake laugh is sickening.  “Irritable Jowl Syndrome.” Haha!  Good stuff Cody. 
    • I enjoy the old school heel running down the audience, but this material is “Boy Meets World” level bad.
    • Then the Bellas came out as elves and Big Show as Santa.
    • Big Show is out to plug Knucklehead.  I hope that ends up in my stocking this year.
    • The Bellas and Show are still on the roster.  21-15
    • Big Show’s finish is a punch.  How is he not the Champion on an amazing undefeated streak if all he has to do is punch?

    John Cena defeated Wade Barrett in a chairs match

    • CM Punk comes to the ring to announce.  He’s out.
    • Cena is still the man even though he’s off TV for a bit, and Barrett probably wishes he were fired a long time ago.  23 yes, and 16 no.
    • There are literally dozens of chairs at ringside and Cena can’t seem to pick one up.
    • “We Hate Cena” T-Shirt guy in the front row.  Speak for yourself!
    • This match is just silly. 
    • Chair use in this match is idiotic.  Wade continually tries to decapitate him but keeps missing, and then gently swipes him on the side later when he had him dead to rights.
    • Red Hat guy in the crowd
    • This PPV is dragging. 
    • Cena “knocked out” Barrett, then poured cold water on his face to wake him up, just so he could zoom him down the ramp on a rolling chair into the propped up ring steps.  That’s really what happened. 
    • Now I’m supposed to take this match seriously.
    • Oh, remember earlier when Cena knocked out all five other Nexus guys earlier in the night?  He’s concussed a half a dozen men this evening. 
    • Cena wins by giving Barrett an Attitude Adjustment onto 8 chairs. 
    • That match was pretty stupid.  It had a zany finish of Cena putting Barrett under a protective table, and then pulling down the prop chairs and they all fell on Barrett. 

    Summary:  This was a much better show than the year before.  Actually, I just went through the card again, and I’m wrong.  It’s not as good.  The terrible stuff was just the dirt worst, and there were some cringe worthy matches.  The TLC match was really good.  Go watch that.