The Raw after WrestleMania, usually the highest rated episode of the year, did 4.08 million viewers, down from 5.35 million for the same show in 2015.
The number was the largest for the show since the day after the Royal Rumble (when Dwayne Johnson made an appearance) and was only the second show to hit four million viewers on average since June.
However, the number is well below what would have been expected for the show. For a comparison, the audience grew 1.2 million viewers from the go-home Mania show to the day after Mania show last year, while this year, the increase was just 318,000 viewers.
Raw was fourth for the night on cable, and all three shows that beat it were focused on the NCAA championship game on TBS. The game did 13.85 million viewers, the pregame show did 9.67 million viewers, and the postgame show did 4.97 million viewers. The basketball barely impacted ABC’s Dancing With the Stars which did 11.72 million viewers, down from 11.97 million the week before.
RAW had a familiar pattern with the big drop in the third hour when the game was in its second half. RAW’s main event was a #1 contender’s match between AJ Styles, Kevin Owens, Cesaro, and Chris Jericho.
Tonight is the most anticipated Raw of the year, the famed Night After WrestleMania show where the fans who traveled in often take over the program, leading to a wild evening of live television. Now the question is, after building up to WrestleMania for three months, where does the company go from here and who do they trust? It’s a given that Roman Reigns will get a profoundly negative reception after his victory over HHH to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship for the third time. In regards to the Authority, the usual pattern is the night after they lose in a blowoff match, they get their heat back immediately. Perhaps Stephanie McMahon will return with her WrestleMania haircut as Aunty Entity from Mad Max Beyond Thuderdome as an added bonus.
Our coverage starts tonight at 8 ET.
The Big News: More than just a night after WrestleMania show, this felt like a milestone program where new stars debuted. And playing in front of a crowd that instantly got acts over, it made for as good a 3-hour Raw as possible. There were negatives, namely in the first hour. Shane McMahon was given “control” of the show by Vince McMahon, which is exactly what Vince was fighting against for weeks. There was no trace of the Authority. After winning the Intercontinental Championship last night, Zack Ryder dropped the title to the Miz after Maryse returned to distract Ryder. Apollo Crews, Baron Corbin, Enzo and Big Cass all debuted from NXT. Of that group, Enzo and Cass made a huge sensation and felt like guys who could be top faces. A.J. Styles will be the next challenger for Roman Reigns after winning an excellent four-way match against Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens and the returning Cesaro, who also came off like a potential star if the company will only let him.
Michael Cole said right at the top that the fans would be different from the standard Raw crowds, with JBL and Byron Saxton saying they were having fun.
Roman Reigns came out for his victory speech. No…..Vince McMahon came out. The fans even sang his theme song. Vince gloated over the Undertaker’s victory over Shane McMahon, but admitted when Shane climbed to the top of the Hell in a Cell, Vince thought to himself “Don’t do it.” He had no idea Shane would risk he life to achieve his goals, but it also reminded him of how foolish Shane was. Vince said this Raw would be one the fans never forgot.
Before Vince could leae, Shane came out. He was carried out on a stretcher last night and he gradually walked out. Vince thought Shane would be in a hospital bed. Crowd chanted “Thank you, Shane.” Shane, who had a scare on his left eye, said he was the only man in the family, he came out to shake his hand like a man and admit his father won. Shane thanked the fans and started to tear up. Fans chanted “You still got it.” Vince chastized the fans, saying it was because of them that Shane got the hell beat out of him. Shane then said goodbye.
Vince got mad and accused Shane of upstaging him. Vince said he thought of how crazy it would be for Shane to run Monday Night Raw. Fans chanted “Let him run it.” Vince said, to prove his point, he told Shane to run the show tonight. And with that, the point of last night’s match, in addition to five weeks worth of buildup, was largely rendered pointless.
The New Day came out next and the fans chanted along with Big E’s introduction routine. Big E. admitted that not everything went according to plan last night for them, but Kofi Kingston acknowledged getting to twerk with Shawn Michaels. Kingston also admitted Xavier Woods got stunned by Steve Austin. They held up the last flake of the giant box of “Booty-O’s,” and Woods held it up and sang in tongues last he was Indiana Jones holding the prized grail from “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” Fans knew the catchphrases before Big E. could even say them, and everyone looked elated at the response they got. Came off like they were the modern day New Age Outlaws or Edge and Christian.
The New Day (C) defeated King Barrett and Sheamus to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles (8:45)
Kingston pinned King Barrett after the Midnight Hour. Barrett collided with Sheamus before the finish. As will be the case all night long, the match was a backdrop for the crowd, who started doing the wave and chanted “We are Awesome” only a half hour into the show. Woods had to get on the PA mic and say the wave meant the fans liked Sheamus. That stopped the wave dead in its tracks.
Postmatch, Sheamus said the League of Nations are a group of elite athletes that should be champions, but aren’t. He said it was time to identify the weak link. Rusev and Alberto Del Rio held up Barrett, and Sheamus gave Barrett the Brogue Kick, then kicked him out of the ring. Fans chanted goodbye at Barrett.
Then, for whatever reason, Bray Wyatt, Braun Strowman and Erick Rowman showed up and started brawling with the remaining League of Nations members, ending with Wyatt giving Sheamus Sister Abigail.
Vince left in a limo. He told Renee Young that he didn’t want to stay around a witness a disaster. Why the hell did he stay around last summer? He said Shane being in charge of Raw was only temporary.
Summer Rae did a prematch promo saying if she had been in charge of the Bad n’ Blond team, they would have won. She started running down Sasha Banks, who came out. Banks said she was still the boss and slapped Rae.
Sasha Banks defeated Summer Rae via submission (1:40)
Banks beat Rae with the Bank Statement. Even at 1:40, Rae was exposed.
Apollo Crews will make his debut tonight, and he and Shane shook hands bacstage. So how did Shane know his father would put him in charge before the show, allowing Crews to be booked? I know these shows are frequently booked with very little time in advance, but still.
They showed the mainstream media articles from various outlets that WrestleMania received. Every time Roman Reigns was shown, loud boos could be heard.
Apollo Crews defeated Tyler Breeze (1:54)
A standard debut squash where Crews pinned Tyler Breeze with a Spinout Power Bomb. Crews got a good response, but he’s not going to fly with the standard interview procedure.
Reigns and Charlotte were shown on the Today show.
Reigns came out to get booed out of the building. I mean, when Hulk Hogan got booed on Nitro in 1995, at least there was a vocal minority cheering him. This was an unanimous negative reception. There were “Reigns is Booty” signs. Reigns, who knew it was coming, said “I’m not a bad guy, I’m not a good guy. I’m THE guy.” That only made things worse. He challenged anyone from the back to fight him for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Chris Jericho came out and tried to turn the crowd against him. He might as well have been the Philadelphia 76ers facing the 1997 Chicago Bulls with this crew.
Jericho shouted down the fans, saying they weren’t going to hijack the show on his watch. He bragged about beating the “Internet favorite” A.J. Styles at WrestleMania and challenged Reigns. Then Styles came out, followed immediately by Kevin Owens (selling injuries from last night’s ladder match). Sami Zayn (not selling injuries from last night’s match). Fans sang Zayn’s theme song, which Reigns got a kick out of. Zayn got in the ring, and he and Owens immediately started brawling. Styles and Jericho also fought while Reigns hanged out by himself. Zayn did a flip tope on Owens. Jericho threw Styles out of the ring. Reigns gave Jericho a spear and got booed some more.
Backstage, Shane told Reigns that tonight’s main event would be a Fatal Fourway between Owens, Jericho, Styles and Zayn, with the winner becoming number one contender.
Baron Corbin debuted after winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Corbin stood in front of the Andre trophy and said he’s carved a path of devastation and destroyed dreams to get to Raw, and devastation awaits anyone who gets in his way.
Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler battled to a double countout (8:32)
Strange way to book Corbin in his debut. They have a whole crew of Social Outcasts back there waiting, but they put a solid midcarder in Dolph Ziggler in there with him. And Corbin doesn’t even get the win. Instead, he sells for half the match, which he doesn’t do well. Ziggler kicked out of his backup finisher, the Deep Six. Then they brawl into the crowd for a countout. Corbin looked like he had never heard of a countout and screamed “You’re the cause of this” to the referee. He gave Ziggler the End of Days on the floor, which is basically Sister Abigail with a deeper dip. Crews had a simple and standard debut. Corbin had a debut where the fans chanted for a beach ball, then got mad when it was taken away.
Titus O’Neal, in a commercial taped before he was suspended, invited fans to register for a contest where the prize is a trip to Disneyland where they would spend the day with his family.
Zack Ryder came out to a nice reception. Crowd chanted “You deserve it, Wo Wo Wo.” Ryder showed a photo of him as a child where he was with Razor Ramon holding his Intercontinental Championship. Last night, he had a chance to take a picture with Ramon, this time with Ryder’s Intercontinental Championship. He thanked his father, who looks like he could make bicep curls with Vince. Seriously, if he becomes a regular character like John Cena’s father in 2009, USADA may pay a visit while he’s in the garage changing oil. The Miz came out and said Ryder was lucky to win the match last night, and said if Ryder wanted to put his name alongside Shawn Michaels, Ramon and Miz, he would put the title right now. Ryder declined, but Miz said Ryder was just all hype. That got the match started.
The Miz defeated Zack Ryder (C) to win the Intercontintal Championship (10:26)
Miz won is a sequence where Maryse made her return. Miz started arguing with Ryder’s father, who shoved him down. This led to Maryse walking out of the crowd and confronting Ryder’s dad, and then slapping him. Ryder was distracted by all this, and Miz gave him the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. Sad to see Ryder drop the title so soon, and it further devalutes the championship when it winds up back around Miz’s waist.
Owens did an interview blaming Zayn for him losing the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania, but Zayn wouldn’t cost him a chance for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. He said the road to KOMania 2 begins tonight.
The Vaudevillains will debut on this week’s edition of SmackDown. This team getting called up to the roster so soon smeels like a total Ascension job.
Lita was in the ring with all of the women’s wrestlers in the company. She put over the effort they put in their matches at WrestleMania, then formally introduced the first WWE Women’s Championship belt. Charlotte and Ric Flair (who, no doubt, had to be pulled away from the National Championship game, where his beloved UNC Tar Heels were playing) came down. Fans chanted for Bayley, which Cole acknowledged as saying “She isn’t here.” Fans sang soccer songs over her interview, as she was trying to put over her fellow wrestlers. She held up the title and said this was the future. Fans chanted “Women’s wrestling,” which made everyone in the ring smile. Charlotte said she wouldn’t have gone down in the history books as the new women’s champion without her father. She thanked everyone in the audience, whose energy fueled her to victory.
Charlotte said some of the wrestlers had been there 7 or 8 years, but she hasn’t even been here 1 year and she’s still champion. Charlotte turned her attention to Becky Lynch and Banks, saying they did it, but she did it. Lynch walked out, as did Paige, Tamina, Brooklyn, Eva Marie (not acknowledged), and everyone else. Then Nataliya told Charlotte she needs to learn something about humility. Natalya said she had given Charlotte some of her most difficult matches. Charlotte talked down to her and spoke badly of the entire Hart family. Natalya shot a double leg and briefly put her in the sharpshooter until Flair pulled Charlotte out.
Styles was interviewed by Young. He said this is a day of new beginnings. Shane is running Raw, Regins wants to face all challengers as WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and he came to the company not to lose one match at WrestleMania. He came to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Another debut, this time a vignette with the artists formerly known as Los Matadores. This time, they had sans masks, outfitted in dress shirts and shorts putting over how great it was to live in Puerto Rico “unlike where you live.” No name was given for the act.
The Dudley Boyz defeated the Usos in a tables match (8:53)
There was a mix-up at the finish. Jimmy and Jey Uso were ready to perform simultaneous splashes to the Dudleys on each table, but Bubba Ray Dudley and Devon Dudley moved and the Usos crashed through the wood. The bell sounded, but it wasn’t supposed to. Bubba Ray then threw Jey threw a table stationed in the corner for the official finish, and Bubba yelled at the timekeeper for the screwup. Standard spots you see in every tables match, including where the Dudleys give Jimmy a double suplex, but Jey moved the table.
Zayn did a promo where Young actually asked him if he had ever been in a four-way match before. I could hear Gabe Sapolsky groaning from here. Zayn said tonight was bigger for him than WrestleMania. He said he was known as the Underdog from the Underground. Owens jumped Zayn from behind and power bombed him through a table backstage.
The Dudleys were still out there when Enzo Amore and Big Cass made their debut to a huge ovation. Enzo Amore did his whole routine and he was over instantly. Enzo called the Dudleys a couple of haters, then said Hate was nothing but love disguised as jealousy. Enzo cut down Devon saying he would put his lazy eye back to work. He said Bubba better think twice, it would be two more thoughts than he had all day. Fans started chanting “Enzo Amore” to the tune of “Seven Nation Army.” Cass challenged them to come down to the ring. Dudleys went to the ring, then retreated. Cass did his “Sawft” catchphrase and the fans knew it by heart. This debut couldn’t have gone any better for Enzo and Cass.
They’re back to doing guest stars. Next week, Dr. Phil will be featured.
It was announced by Cole that Zayn was out of the main event after getting attacked by Owens. Instead, Lillian Garcia announced Shane had appointed a replacement: Cesaro, who came out dressed like Bautista, then stripped down to his trunks.
A.J. Styles pinned Chris Jericho to win a four way for the number one contendership for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in a Fatal Fourway that also included Cesaro and Kevin Owens (16:44)
This was a Raw match on the caliber of some of those John Cena U.S. Championship Series bouts last year. An excellent match where Styles won after hitting the Styles Clash on Jericho. Cesaro had his moments to shine, as well, and did the crowd ever love him. He threw forearm uppercupts to opposite corners with the fans eating up every one. There was a Tower of Doom spot where Styles took a bump off the top rope, which had to feel like hell after his back injury from earlier this year. Styles did a 450 Springboard Splash on Jericho. Later, Jericho attempted the Walls on Cesaro, who made the ropes. Excellent stuff.
SUMMARY: It felt like a new company. New faces abound with guys that are fresh acts who are already over. There was a great main event. No Authority, which seemed to make a difference in the fact that the show wasn’t built around who controls the company. It’s simply about who can get the championship from Reigns. This is a fresh start that a lot of fans have wanted for quite sometime. Can they sustain this? Or will the laziness of prior years take over, as it has done so often? We’ll see.
WWE just announced that there were 1,824,000 subscribers to the network as of today, the day after WrestleMania.
That number sounds fantastic on the surface, and isn’t necessarily negative, but of that, 370,000 ordered the month for free and all growth from last year was from adding new international markets, as the number of paid domestic subscribers was actually slightly down from the day after WrestleMania last year.
The real key will be the retention rate from those 370,000 free subscribers and comparison with last year.
They expect that with the free subscribers expiring and turning into paid subscribers at the same rate as usual, that the free month will lead to an average of 1,480,000 to 1,550,000 subscribers during the second quarter, an increase of from 1,233,000 last year.
George Barrios in the conference call noted that because of the free offer, that comparisons of paid vs. unpaid would be misleading and the difference after how many of this group transforms into paid after the one month trial.
They also said that overall, they are expecting first quarter OIBDA of $19 million this year and talked about a $70 million to $75 million range for this year. That figure would get profitability back in the range of where it was before the network was launched.
Paid subscribers as of today are 1,109,000 listed in the U.S., down from 1,123,000 listed in the U.S. last year. Keep in mind that the difference is a lot of outside the U.S. subscribers in foreign countries were listed as U.S. last year, so true U.S. numbers are likely up.
International paid went from 192,000 to 345,000.
Of the free subscribers, 281,000 are listed as U.S and 89,000 are listed as outside the U.S.
The WWE averaged 1.29 million paid subscribers in the first quarter of 2016, up from 927,000 last year, so there is significant year-over-year growth, but because of the ease of getting Mania free, the paid growth for day after Mania isn’t as significant.
Had they not offered WrestleMania free, no doubt paid would be significantly higher, but the question is where paid is one month from now before you can evaluate whether this was a success or not.
Dwayne Johnson arrived late last night in Dallas to start preparation for WrestleMania.
Johnson’s role on the show has not been announced and on Twitter he noted that last night at 2 a.m. he was in the stadium still working on what he was doing on the show.
Johnson wrote on twitter: “2 a.m. and still working on the show. Tomorrow night this stadium will be filled with 100,000 strong. what a night we have planned.”
Johnson has been working on the “Baywatch” movie but committed to the show publicly months ago. For insurance reasons, he wasn’t able to wrestle a match on the show as he and HHH one year ago was scheduled to be one of the main events.
At one point it looked like it was going to be difficult to even be a part of the show due to the filming of “Baywatch,” but he was able to make that happen.
It was noted to us a few weeks ago when most of the plans for the show were being formulated that Johnson was going to do what he wanted to do, and at the time he hadn’t told the company yet exactly what his plans were.
John Cena said he was already medically cleared in an interview done at the beginning of the week with Complex Sports.
In the interview, Cena said he felt he could have come back two weeks ago. He said he can do anything they ask of him to do and when they call, he’ll be there.
“If you ask me today, I should’ve been back two weeks ago. I’ve logged almost 400 hours of physical therapy. I got 111 visits in 12 weeks time. I go every single second I can. People say I have a Wolverine-like style of recovery. I was given a nine month quota to come back and after three months I can tell you that I am ready to do asked of me possible. It’s a matter of when they call me.”
What is notable about that is if Cena’s return was looked at to be a major surprise, he would have never answered the question that way since he’s basically saying he’ll be back imminently.
*As the story goes, there were practices for aspects of a big stunt on Sunday.
*On last night’s Steve Austin podcast with Mick Foley, where daughter Noelle did a cameo, they confirmed earlier reports of Foley doing a family reality show of the network, which will include Noelle training to be a WWE performer. She’s already on the network doing some segments.
*NXT will start live at 8:30 p.m. with a few dark matches. The TV broadcast starts at 9 p.m. The’s local time, add an hour later for Eastern time. Ticketholders, or at least some, were sent an e-mail this morning telling them about the new start time for the show at the Bailey Hutchison Convention Center.
*Unlike last year where things were spread out all over town, NXT, Evolve and ROH are all within walking distance of each other. Going to be weird as a lot of people with ROH tickets are also going to NXT, so I’m guessing there will be an exodus about 50 minutes into the ROH show.
*It’s hilarious, because based on the vibe here, if Roman Reigns turns, it may get one of the biggest babyface pops. That’s all I hear of people saying how much they want him to turn.
*Mauro Ranallo will be announcing the first three matches of WrestleMania, and hosting the WWE Network first hour as well as the USA Network simulcast second hour.
*WaleMania was last night. First, I want to say think you to everyone I got to meet from the site last night. It was really cool meeting people from all over the country and all over the world. Tons of wrestlers were there and I’m probably leaving out a ton of names but among them were Jim Ross, Konnan, Kevin Sullivan, Big E, Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho, Zack Sabre Jr., Eddie Edwards, Will Ospreay, Mojo Rawley, Enzo Amoe, Liv Morgan, Amanda (Mandy Rose) from Tough Enough, MVP, Carlito, Primo, Mark Henry, Taya, Pentagon Jr., Drago, Melissa Anderson (Mariposa), Kobra Moon, Justin Roberts, Virgil, Teddy Haft, Chelsea Green (recovering from a broken collarbone while wrestling in India), Noelle Foley, several ex-WWE writers like Alex Greenfield and Ed Ferrara (who now is a teacher at Full Sail University and has never attended an NXT show). Wale is a huge fan and student of wrestling. This looks to be an annual part of the WrestleMania weekend on the Thursdayprior to the show.
*About the only actual news that came out of the event was MVP saying that he’s starting with Lucha Underground.
*There is a real buzz among this audience regarding Lucha Underground. I think it’s the combination of something entirely different and the hot live audience that gives the show a cool feel. They made a huge mistake not running a live event this weekend.
*Bryan and I will start our nightly audio shows tonight after the NXT show.
First off, my deepest apologies to my tens of fans for my failure to file over the last fortnight. But, worry not; my difficulties in accessing the show in a timely manner (or, indeed, at all) have been resolved.
Unfortunately, my return to casting a critical eye over Main Event is marked by a show that is over 80% Wrestlemania hype. Video packages were aired on the Reigns/Authority, Shane/Taker (two) and Dean/Brock storylines. One match was taped before RAW in Brooklyn on Monday night, featuring Sunday’s US title challenger The Ryback against the one-time conqueror of Chris Jericho, Fandango.
Ryback def. Fandango by pinfall
Jerry Lawler troubles me with his depth of knowledge on Ryback by insisting that “everything about The Big Guy is bigger”. Yeesh.
Rich Brennan repeats Monday night’s faux-pas by reminding us all that the company once chose to put Fandango over Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania. I guess it’s less dumb when Jericho isn’t in the segment, but it’s still never a fantastic idea to remind your viewers exactly how amateurish you are at judging talent.
Speaking of bad ideas, someone thought it would be pretty gravy to have their monster heel, who is challenging for a belt on Sunday, take over ten minutes to put away a guy who hasn’t won a televised match since mid-December. Solid logic there and no mistake.
Fandango therefore got plenty of offence in this one, including a high knee from the apron to the outside to grab the advantage leading into an early commercial break. Ryback’s heat is that of a man who hasn’t worked heel in a while; painfully dull, including an excruciatingly long chinlock.
Fandango dodges a corner charge and follows up with a baseball slide to initiate his comeback. He even sidesteps Ryback’s first attempt at the Meathook clothesline with a school boy roll-up for two-and-a-half. Ryback immediately pops up and connects with said Meathook however, followed by the Shellshock for the win. Only six minutes of this aired, but it felt longer as it was dull, disjointed and heatless throughout.
Final Thoughts
Not much to add really. Join me again tomorrow for a similarly attenuated edition of Smackdown and be sure to check out my – and the rest of the team’s – Wrestlemania predictions later in the week.
WrestleMania 32 on 4/3 at AT&T Stadium in Dallas is far from the strongest WrestleMania lineup in history, and is likely not to be remembered as the biggest, but it caps off what looks to be the biggest weekend of shows in one location in history.
At press time, WrestleMania had 85,000 tickets out for $13.5 million, both records. There have been virtually no primary outlet sales in the last week because almost no tickets are left. There may be some seats released at the last minute after production is moved in and seats are opened, but the real attendance figure won’t be much above this figure.
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On this look back at WWF SummerSlam 1992, Karl watches and reviews the entire show: Shawn Michaels, Rick Martel, The Natural Disasters, The Beverly Brothers, The Undertaker, Kamala, The Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair, Mr. Perfect, Randy Savage, The Legion of Doom, Money Inc, and the big main event of the British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart for the WWF Intercontinental title and the honor of the Hart family!
Full review of the show with the following matches:
The Legion of Doom vs. Money, Inc. (LOD split up after this show and Hawk goes AWOL.)
Nailz vs. Virgil. (Nailz thought this match was so good he later attacked Vince McMahon over the payoff.)
Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel in a heel vs heel match with the love of Sensational Sherri at stake.
The Natural Disasters vs. The Beverly Brothers with Lanny Poffo in what is, shockingly, the third best match on the show.
Neon Crush vs. Demolition Smash in a Lone Ranger mask.
Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage for the WWF title with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect making the match worse.
The Undertaker in a mess against Kamala.
The British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart for the WWF Intercontinental title with one of the worst promos ever and a career performance by Hart.
In Indiana, Paige does a photo shoot. Everyone likes it. Paige falls down on the ground because she is so excited about her sandwich. This is the last we will see of her tonight.
In Phoenix, the Bellas and Bryan sit down to lunch at a really, really cute breakfast place. They are going to eat Dutch Babies. The Bellas want to start a charitable bra and panty line. Bryan doesn’t want to talk about Nikki’s vagina. Bryan tells a story of Brie giving him a Dutch oven.
In Orlando, Nattie is training with Mandy. Nattie is excited because she is going to have an opportunity to get closer to Mandy. Nattie is worried about her “loose cannon” father. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of Mandy’s family.
The Bella twins are on the Today show. Nikki is excited to have meetings later in the day in New York. Brie wants to talk about babies, but Nikki doesn’t.
On some island in Florida, the Mandy family arrive at the bomb vacation house. They all pick their bedrooms. Her mom and dad don’t want to stand next to each other, because they are separated. Mandy cries. She wants them to be together again. Mandy has plans for them to rekindle their romance. They chase a crab and the Neidharts arrive. Nattie tells Mandy to let her know if her dad acts weird. He just got out of rehab.
The Bellas are at a really nice restaurant, elegant but casual. They are drinking wine and Nikki is talking business. Nikki set up a meeting with some famous business dude. Brie doesn’t want a meeting. She wants to make the bras and panties herself.
Back on the island, everyone is eating breakfast. Mandy and her fedora-ed brother spy on their dad through a tiny window. Nattie draws a lipstick heart on TJ’s face. Jim Neidhart is wearing a hilarious shirt that makes him look like he is wearing a sexy bikini.
In NY, Brie and Nikki go to take a sewing lesson. Nikki is super negative about learning. Nikki knows Brie is going to fail. Brie tries to make a pair of panties. Nikki thinks Brie is a total failure because she didn’t make a perfect pair on her first try. I think she has potential.
Mandy’s family and the Neidharts have a dragon boat race. Mandy’s family is so good at working as a team, and, as expected, the Neidharts are a mess. I bet that Nattie is going to have to learn to love her family, warts and all. She seems to always have to learn that. Nattie is embarrassed that her family lost. Jim Neidhart is pissed because some guy is massaging his wife’s ass. He is having a conniption. Nattie doesn’t want him to cause a scene. Mandy’s family gets in a van and they try to reminisce about old times. Mandy is stoked that her parents are sitting next to each other. The Neidharts join them at a dock and each family gets on a fishing boat. Jim Neidhart makes some very excited noises and then a noise of disappointment. Nattie’s mom reveals that she put a curse on him and he won’t catch any fish, he will only feel the excitement of it. Nattie’s mom catches her third fish. Nattie is pissed that her dad is acting wacky and having fun. She’s glad Mandy isn’t on the boat to see him. Meanwhile, Mandy tries to talk about her dad with her mom. Her mom doesn’t really want to talk about it.
Nikki and Brie are still bickering. Brie wants to be on Etsy, and Nikki wants this to be an empire. Nikki believes she is so much better at business than her sister. It’s funny because outside they are identical twins, but inside they are worlds apart. They have a meeting with a fashion designer. The fashion designer has a big show tomorrow, but she is more than happy to take time out of her busy day to talk to them. Brie explains her Etsy vision. This lady doesn’t think that’s feasible. I hope Brie doesn’t give up on herself.
Back on the island, Mandy takes a walk with her brothers. She remarks to them how much everything has changed. One of her brothers tells her that if she thinks that mom and dad are going to get back together then she’s crazy. Another brother thinks there’s a chance. They yell at each other.
Nikki and Bella are hanging out in their swank hotel room in amazing evening gowns. Brie tells Nikki that she is not as good at business as Nikki. Brie acts really humble. Nikki rubs it in her face, but she’s happy that she gets to be in charge. They each thinks the other gives gross hugs.
Mandy takes her family outside for a drink. Her dad acts all Italian tough guy. Mandy tries to talk to them about getting back together. Mandy cries. Her dad tells them that they are going to stay separated and everyone needs to deal with it. Mandy and her brothers cry. Everyone accepts that things have changed, and they decide to be happy. All the families gather together for a giant meal. They all reflect and laugh over the weekend’s adventures. Mandy gives a toast. Nattie loves Mandy, and she realizes the whole weekend was fun and she didn’t need to stress so much. Haven’t heard that one before, Nattie.
Nikki and Brie go into the Empire State Building for a meeting with the famous business dude. They tell him about their charitable lingerie line. He likes that the lingerie line is charitable. He brings in a designer and she draws some panties. He says a lot of noncommittal positive language and tells them he’ll be in touch. The Bellas are really happy.
Back on the island, Nattie’s tiny nephew gives some precious words of wisdom and they all take a picture of themselves. It may be a mess of a family, but it’s their mess, and I’m sure they wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Back in NY, the Bellas are at a really great, really expensive looking restaurant. The Bellas smile at each other, and they make a toast. Brie looks like she’s getting close to Brie Mode.
There was a show on another network tonight where a bunch of nut-jobs were excited about installing can lights in their bedroom. That coupled with tonight’s Total Divas, and this is officially the worst night ever in television history. Congratulations, America.
