Air date: May 2, 1985
Run time: 46:59
Stars of the show: Rusty Brooks, “The Duke of Dorchester” and Crusher Comic
In what is probably simultaneously the worst and best episode ever of Tuesday Night Titans, the WWF celebrates its “unsung heroes”. And let’s be clear: Rusty Brooks is my favorite enhancement talent ever. Forget Barry Horowitz, SD Jones and Steve Lombardi. Rusty Brooks, all 345 pounds of hulking fat flesh is GOD.
It’s astonishing that TNT would devote an entire show to jobbers, or “unsung heroes.”It’s even more amazing that the theme of the show was that these guys who lose all the time were on the brink of superstardom, if they could just get that one big victory.
Vince McMahon opens the show calling tonight’s guest “an elite selection of the World Wrestling Federation’s Unsung Heroes.” He says it will be “a most unusual TNT this week.”
The show opens with a match between David Bruno Sammartino against a jobber named Bob Wade.
Sammartino is beating up on Wade, with McMahon and Bruno Sammartino on color commentary. Sammartino delivers a wicked-looking suplex on Wade’s head and McMahon says “Wade will be feeling that one for the next 567 year.” Totally random. Bruno wonders if Wade will be able to recover from a move like that.
David Sammartino puts him away with an Ultimate Warrior press slam, and McMahon calls Wade “a very courageous individual.”
Our first guests are Mario Mancini, Paul Roma and Steve Lombardi. Two of these guys actually had long careers. Lombardi remained a long-term jobber under various names, while Roma would enjoy mid-level success against fellow jobber and Young Stallion Jim Powers, and later as possibly the worst member of the Four Horsemen in history.
Mancini startles us all saying that is 18 years old and started wrestling right out of high school. Mancini was not one of the more famous jobbers, but he did appear often on Championship Wrestling in 1985.
Roma, looking shy and lacking microphone skills, says he feels for Wade. “It’s very hard to come back after getting suplexed.”
McMahon, overwhelmed by being a room with all these losers, asks Lombardi what keeps him motivated. “It’s not easy. If it were easy anyone could do it. You just have to keep coming back.” We go to the ring to see Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. Lombardi.
Steamboat is in ridiculous shape for this match. Every time I see Steamboat compete I wonder why he didn’t end up being the biggest star of all time He was SO GOOD in the ring. If there was ever a natural professional wrestler it was Steamboat. If Steamboat had microphone skills he’d could have been one of the biggest stars in the industry.
Steamboat chopped, arm-dragged and high-cross body blocked his way to victory over Lombardi. Some guys when they attempt to skin the cat you wonder if they are going to be able to pull themselves back over the top rope. Not with Steamboat. Steamboat did the move as easily as he walks across the street.
From there we get another dose of Mancini in a match against King Kong Bundy. Nothing like a wrestler named after a serial killer. McMahon hilariously lets us know that Mancini is “no relation” to “Boom Boom” Mancini, the former lightweight boxing champion.
I don’t think anyone believed, or even wondered if the two were related, for any significant length of time. Bundy pins Mancini with his trademark splash. Bundy was months away from a huge push as the No. 1 heel in the company, crushing Hulk Hogan’s ribs, leading up to a match at WrestleMania 2.
We get a third clip of Brutus Beefcake vs. Roma, where Beefcake pins Roma with his flying knee.
Back in the studio, McMahon attempts to explain to Roma why he lost, saying Beefcake was more intense. He asks Roma if Beefcake knocked him out with his flying knee and Roma says yes, but that competing is still fun, “if fans stay behind me.”
McMahon, warming up for his bullying efforts to come against Rusty Brooks, asks Mancini if he knew what what he was getting into by signing on to fight Bundy. Mancini gives a perfect response: “I have an attitude and my attitude is I am young and no matter how much punishment I take I am going to be there and I am always going to be there.” He sounds like Roman Reigns, Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler.
Lombardi said that at this point in his career all he needs is some guidance. He said he wants to be managed by Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.
“He manages nothing but winners and I want to be a winner,” Lombardi says. Lombardi never got a big push in the WWE, but he is still employed by the company so he must figured out something he could contribute backstage to stay with the company so long.
Next up is Brooks, Jim Powers and Jose Luis Rivera. Powers, of course, would go on to become Roma’s partner as a Young Stallion. Powers and Roma must have been real jerks behind the scenes. You’d think that tag team would have gone on to stardom: similar bodies, looks and working ability. Maybe Shawn Michaels was using his backstage powers to bury wrestlers even back then.
I can’t really understand or explain my infatuation for Brooks, but there’s something about him that screams superstar talent. Yes, he’s fat and out of shape. He’s short, balding and pale. He’s the epitome of unathletic. Yet, he’s got some rare charisma. He reminds of a fatter version of Kevin Owens, but without a gimmick.
Brooks had great facials. He just looked pissed off and annoyed, while also insecure about his fat body. For most of his TNT interview segment, he cross his arms to cover his massive belly.
McMahon goes straight for the obvious: “Rusty Brooks how much do you weigh?” Brooks: 342 pounds.
McMahon then looks at Powers and says “you are put together. I like those arms. You have been working on those arms.” McMahon has got to be the most appreciative heterosexual of male bodies in history.
He then looks at Brooks and says,”Rusty you have been working on everything.” Brooks gets defensive and explains that he used to play football at North Texas State. “They grow ‘em big and they wrestle well,” Brooks says about Texas wrestlers. Brooks explains that he used to play football at North Texas State.
Brooks then goes full heel. He tells McMahon “”I don’t like to be considered in the same class as these two gentleman, here who have a long ways to go,” referring to Powers and Rivera. Brooks says his record would improve “dramatically” if he got in the ring with these guys. Brooks too wants Heenan to manage him.
“With proper management I think I could go all the way to the top,” Brooks says.
Brooks is just oozing heel here. If they put this guy in a black T-shirt with a slogan of FIGHT RUSTY FIGHT, this guy could have enjoyed a nice run on top as a heel opponent for Hogan. I would have cheered for him and I think fans would have embraced him in a sympathetic way.
We get a quick match highlight from featuring Roma against Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, a match that Valentine win with a submission.
“I don’t think anyone can attack the legs quite like Greg Valentine,” McMahon says. It’s back to Brooks and we get to see him in his singlet against the Junkyard Dog (this is the second time TNT has showed this match). Brooks is totally agile in this match, bumping like he’s a fat Shawn Michaels.
Then we get a quick match between Jim Neidhart vs. Jose Luis Rivera. Rivera was a good worker, but his lack of presence and ability to talk probably sank his career. On the couch Rivera mentions that Pedro Morales is one of his favorite wrestlers, prompting Brooks to call Morales “a has been” and Rivera “a never was.”
McMahon ends the segment asking asking Brooks what his motivation is, seeing that he’s an all-around fat slob.“It’s money and championships,” Brooks says. Man, what a wasted opportunity. The WWF was busy promoting a hick from mudlick Kentucky, when they had Brooks, oozing with natural charisma on the roster.
Our final panel of jobbers includes Charlie Fulton, who looks like Skinner, Pete Doherty, who acts a lot like Conor McGregor, and the Unpredictable Johnny Rodz.
The star of this group is undoubtedly Doherty, who’s missing more than a few teeth. Doherty bursts out with like he’s half McGregor, half Sabu, screaming that he’s not “homicidal, suicidal or psychotic.” McMahon says “I don’t recall anyone saying you were Mr. Doherty.” Doherty blasts McMahon ordering him to call him “The Duke of Dorchester.”
Doherty is acting like a maniac, saying he is as unpredictable as anyone. Doherty promises to go back to the Middle East where people speak to him with respect and address him by the proper title, the “Duke of Dorchester.”
We go to the ring and see Barry Windham vs. Charlie Fulton. I have no memory at all of Charlie Fulton. I remember Bobby Fulton from the Fantastics. Windham wins with a bulldog over Fulton.
We go instantly to a match with Snuka and Doherty, who’s screaming like a female tennis player with everyone of Snuka’s chops. McMahon continues his male body worshipping saying “Look at the biceps on Snuka.” Doherty is a good worker, putting Snuka in a head scissors, and a side headlock. Snuka wins the match with a headbutt, but Doherty put on the best wrestling performance tonight of any of the jobbers.
Next up we get to see Johnny Rodz against HULK HOGAN. Somehow, while Hogan was selling out arenas across the world, here he is wrestling jobber Rodz. Gorilla Monsoon says that if Rodz could defeat Hogan in a non-title match, he certainly would be in line for a title shot.
Rodz showed great athleticism here against Hogan, but Hornswoggle would look like Shawn Michaels if he were in the ring with Hogan. Rodz was a veteran jobber, so the idea that he was headed to the top was a bit of joke.
The show ends with a brilliant segment featuring a visit to “Cafe Le Bump.” Wow. We’re still on the TNT set here, but it’s set up to look like a night club, featuring a performance by “Crusher Comic.” Who was this guy?
He comes out in a mask and rope and starts dropping comedy lines, some of which were actually funny. He says he got a little upset because when he was younger his father left him. He pulls out a mask like he is wearing and asks if anyone has seen this guy?
Crusher Comic looks at Rodz and says, “They should call you “Mr. Predictable” since you always lose. He tells Rodz, “nice jacket, somewhere there’s a Volkswagen without seat covers.” He then tells Doherty that he looks like “an armpit with eyes.” That was the best of it, although Crusher Comic also says his other job is “as a drama coach for Lord Alfred Hayes,” which is hilarious.
Although this show was probably a huge disappointment at the time, with the benefit of history, it’s actually a really intriguing show. McMahon was giving attention to the jobbers, while also making it look like they just needed to train harder to reach the top.
The best thing about the show is that once again TNT proved that face time could give personality to anyone and turn some of those guys into stars. There’s no doubt that Brooks and Doherty could have been big stars. Roma and Powers did enjoy success.
This is another reason why the WWE needs to put some of these guys into the Hall of Fame. If there’s a place for Abdullah The Butcher in the Hall of Fame, there should be a place for another fat balding guy, who actually spent time in a WWF ring.
