Fox, Rosa, and Paige are at a restaurant. Its lunch time. Rosa, pregnant, asks if the baby can still breathe if she holds her breath.
Nattie greets a fan outside of RAW. Inside, Nattie grabs Mandy’s breast. We’re 30 seconds in and this show already has a lot going on. Mandy starts groping Nattie. Eva Marie goes to get something to eat, and Mandy asks Nattie to train her. What is the make-up budget for this show? Nikki tells us that she’s about to become the longest reigning Diva’s Champion in history. It means a lot to her.
Paige and Rosa are out to lunch again with Mandy, Fox, and Eva Marie. Paige and Rosa talk about how they are wearing the same underwear.
Nikki is stretching in Brie’s house. Their mom comes in and starts yelling at Nikki for not stretching more. She tells her that she has to go to a doctor and stop doing the Rack Attack. Brie tells her that Nikki should instead shove her opponent’s face into her boobs as her finishing move.
Fox, Rosa, and Paige pull up to a party store in a huge-ass 4×4 truck. Rosa is shopping for her baby shower. Paige and Fox decide they are going to make it a goth/Halloween theme. Mandy talks about how she wants to work super hard and train and focus on being the best WWE Diva she can be and, like, stuff. Eva Marie is talking about how she just got her own “social media” guy who is going to follow her around and take her picture. Mandy wants her own “social media” guy.
Nikki and John are going out to a fancy restaurant, and Nikki thinks John looks cute. John admits that he just bought 55 suits when he was in New York… Wait, he bought 55 suits? Nikki thinks it’s a little weird that he bought 55 suits on one trip to New York, too. But she thinks he looks incredible. Nikki looks distressed, but not about the suits. Her neck really hurts and John gives her a massage. Cena is worried so he gets her into the Ferrari and they leave dinner. John Cena bought 55 suits in one trip to New York. 55 suits.
Back in Florida, Eva Marie is teaching Mandy how to use social media. Eva Marie pushes Mandy in the pool. In the gym, Sheamus tells Nikki he is selling his house and he’ll probably never have a family. Nikki is having hard times lifting weights. Backstage at Smackdown, Nattie is talking about how cute cats are. The pyro in the arena scares Rosa. Brie yells at Fox for planning a gothic themed baby shower for Rosa.
In a car, Brie is yelling at Nikki for not yawning after she yawned. Nikki is stoked that she’s going to be in the history books as the longest reigning Divas Champion of all time. Nikki is going to the doctor to get OZONE shots in her back. Everyone is telling Nikki to take care of herself and take some time off.
*****
Back in Florida, Nattie is working out at the performance center waiting for Mandy, who shows up really late in Converse. Nattie is pissed. She has one day off a week and Mandy asked her to drive two hours from Tampa to Orlando in order to help her train. Mandy wants to take a selfie before they start. Nattie finally has had enough and leaves. Mandy does not even understand why Nattie is pissed. Mandy apologizes and Nattie agrees to stay and help.
In Memphis, Rosa, Fox and Paige are in a car and Paige finds out she’s going to be on Conan. But it’s on the day of the baby shower. She tells them she actually wants the baby shower in California, not Florida. Nobody listened to her. Fox tells her she’s being selfish.
In another car, Nattie tells Nikki that all the NXT girls text TJ. Nattie tells Nikki she has to power through the pain. Again, Nattie with the worst advice (like when she offered her father alcohol, even though he’s sober). Backstage, Rosa starts to unload to Mandy about how mad she is about the baby shower. Mandy stares at her blankly. Nattie and Brie are talking about Nikki’s back, and now that she’s in front of Brie, Nattie tells Nikki to take it easy. The girls are eating in catering and Rosa comes in and confronts Fox. This baby shower is getting nasty.
*****
Backstage at RAW, Fox apologizes to Rosa but she’s actually not sorry.
Nikki is about to fight Charlotte, if she wins she’s the longest reigning Diva’s Champion in history. Her back is ruined though. This is crazy. It’s amazing to think what these athletes do to entertain. I know this show is fake but my respect for Nikki is real. Nikki becomes the longest reigning Diva’s Champion of all time.
Brie says that Nikki will never have kids to share this moment with. To celebrate the Divas go out to dinner with Dolph Ziggler. Dolph talks about having sex with the belt on. Brie gives a speech about how great Nikki is. Fox stands up and gives her own speech where she apologizes to Rosa. Rosa forgives her but she refuses to apologize back. She shouldn’t. Paige says it’s time to haze Mandy and asks her who the hottest Superstar is, and she says Dolph Ziggler, who has a big smile. Ziggler asks her if she’d rather have a reality show or be champion. She lies and says she would rather be the champion. Nattie thinks she’s genuine. Mandy says she would be in a long term relationship with Nattie. Paige says they respect Mandy. Everyone learned a lot of lessons this week.
They went to a lot of nice looking restaurants, but the big takeaway… John Cena bought 55 suits on one trip to New York.
It hasn’t been two months and already, Mauro Ranallo has become a fan favorite for those tuning to WWE Smackdown every week. That’s why there was a lot of concern at Tuesday night’s Smackdown tapings in Ontario, California, when Michael Cole came out to announce with Jerry Lawler and Byron Saxton instead of everyone’s favorite Canadian wrestling personality (outside Lance Storm of course.)
Fear not: the actual story is that the 46-year-old Ranallo came to the building, but was sick with the flu and the company made the decision to send him home rather than work the show. He’s still with the company, still on Smackdown, and all is still right with the world.
Some of the concern was heightened because there were so many questions asked via Twitter that got no response from the social media-friendly and president of #RetweetCity.
No Mauro Ranallo announcing. Michael Cole was in his place.
Kevin Owens makes his way down the ring to do color commentary.
Lucha Dragons and Ziggler vs Del Rio & Sheamus and Rusev. Barrett watches from ringside. Sheamus kicked Ziggler with interference from Owens.
Tamina accompanied by Naomi vs Sasha Banks. Sasha over Tamina via cross face. Short match. After the match Team Bad attacks Sasha, Becky Lynch makes the save. Becky attempted to help Sasha when on the mat but Sasha pushed her away. Sasha and Becky shown backstage, talking about their WrestleMania moment.
Jericho comes out and says he will give AJ Styles his answer and asks him to come out so he can tell him face to face. Out comes Miz and says he’s tired of Jericho and AJ playing footsies. Miz says Jericho has a match with him. Miz goes for the offense but Jericho blocks and hits miz with the mic on the head. Jericho beats Miz via walls of Jericho. Jericho invites Styles come out again, out he comes. Jericho says the answer is No, AJ hits Jericho out of the ring. Jericho comes back to the apron and says that was a stupid move. Gives AJ his rematch at fast lane. By the way AJ’s left eyelid is swollen.
Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are shown backstage. Says let’s do our thing in the ring. Ambrose continues to walk and runs into Paul Heyman and mentions Brock Lesnar is here and looking for Ambrose.
Jo Jo backstage interviewing New Day regarding Sunday on Edge and Christian’s peep show.
Out comes Natalya. Followed by Charlotte and Ric flair. Charlotte over Nattie Brie’s music plays and she rushes the ring to attack Charlotte. Charlotte attemps figure four, Brie blocks it and does the kicks. Got the whole arena chanting yes.
Truth and Goldust backstage segment
Wyatt’s come out next, Bray cuts short in ring promo regarding Sunday’s match.
Promo shown from Mondays main event
Wyatts vs Show, Ryback, and Kane at fast lane.
Ambrose and Reigns vs Dudleys up next. Crowd is ecstatic for Ambrose. During the match Lesnar appears and attacks both Reigns and Ambrose. Roman about to super man punch Lesnar but Lesnar pushes Reigns into Ambrose . Lesnar f5s reigns.
Triple H music plays and stands by the stage with the belt staring at Lesnar.
Reigns and Ambrose play to the crowd.
Challenge the dudleys to come back out, they do and baby faces clean them out quick.
Due to President’s Day, the Monday night ratings will be delayed until some time tomorrow.
Ratings are expected tomorrow in the early afternoon.
Raw is not expected to pull a good number, even though they are coming off a stronger than usual number for the Daniel Bryan retirement show the previous week. Between a main event of Big Show vs Braun Strowman and going head-to-head with the Grammy Awards, and several shows that have hit seasonal 17 year lows, it doesn’t look good. The only thing that could save it is if there was lingering interest from the show the week before.
The preliminary numbers for the Grammy Awards on CBS were just under 24 million viewers, making it among the most-watched non-football shows of the past year.
The WWE has confirmed today the WWE Network exclusive cruiserweight show that we had been reporting about the past few weeks in the Observer.
The show, entitled the Global Cruiserweight Series, will air on Wednesday nights at 9 p.m., following NXT.
It will be a 32 man tournament of wrestlers who all have to be under 205 pounds, and will be taped at the NXT tapings.
The first episode of the show will be on 7/13, and the championship match will air on 9/14.
The winner of the tournament, which is expected to include a number of wrestlers who are not signed with the promotion, will obviously end up with the promotion and be billed as the best cruiserweight in wrestling.
Brianna Danielson, who wrestles as Brie Bella, may be the next WWE performer to retire.
The wife of Bryan Danielson, who announced his retirement last week on Raw, expects to retire this summer, confirming a report in last week’s issue of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. The couple was on ABC’s Good Morning America today to discuss his retirement, when she said that her days were limited in wrestling.
The report didn’t show a clip of her stating it on camera, but the summer time frame was part of the news story.
“It’s time for me to hang up the boots,” she said. “That day is very close.”
Bryan said that he wants to spend his time now educating young athletes to the seriousness of concussions. In the report, both Danielsons talked about Bryan’s seizures stating that he at first kept them from his wife and when he had one in front of her, implored her not to tell anyone for fear he would not be allowed to wrestle.
It should be noted that Bryan Danielson’s last seizure was about four years ago and has not been a recent issue.
A week after the most memorable single segment in recent wrestling history, Monday Night Raw will have its go-home show for Fast Lane in Anaheim, CA. Piggybacking off Daniel Bryan’s retirement, Brie Bella will appear to build up her Divas title shot against Charlotte at the PPV. Of course, the focus of the show will be to build the three-way main event between Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. After Ambrose got laid out twice last week by Lesnar and the paltry attempt to get his heat back, the company will likely try to get him strong again since he’s the only one involved in the main event that doesn’t have a clear direction for WrestleMania.
Also, the Dudley Boyz will appear after turning heel last week. Coming off another very good match on SmackDown, A.J. Styles and Chris Jericho will likely continue their program.
Our coverage starts at 8 ET.
Some updated notes for tonight from Dave Meltzer (6:30 PM EST):
The WWE is starting to push a Big Show vs. Braun Strowman match, which is likely to set up a Wyatt Family vs. Show & Kane & Ryback match or something approximating that for Fastlane on Sunday.
Locally they are advertising Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens & Rusev, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, because more often than not, the locally advertised match doesn’t end up happening.
As noted, there are no special non-wrestlers advertised for tonight’s show, with HHH the major name who isn’t usually touring, but he’s on almost every Raw.
*****
The Big Takeaway: Kevin Owens recaptured the Intercontental Championship when he pinned Tyler Breeze in a Fatal Fiveway match, which was ordered by Stephanie McMahon in order to punish Dean Ambrose in the opening segment. Kane returned in the main event because he was a Vince McMahon creation in 1997 who is healthy enough to wrestle, and also because God hates us all.
Show Recap:
Dean Ambrose came out and said sometimes when the biggest bully on the playground comes after you, sometime you got to get your fingernails dirty and you have to do what you have to do. He acted like he got the best of Brock Lesnar last week. That was so delusional, it was almost like a heel statement. He challenged Lesnar to come out. Stephanie McMahon showed up instead because…opening segment. Stephanie brought up valid points about Ambrose needing Roman Reigns in order to deliver a cheap shot on Lesnar. Ambrose wanted to skip the talking and get to the fighting. Stephanie said she would get to the fighting because this was Monday Night Raw. So she talked for another five minutes. Followed by another talking segment with the New Day, Owens an Ambrose. And Brie Bella opening the second hour with an interview.
Stephanie asked the fans if they wanted to see Ambrose get F-5’d tonight. Fans were supposed to boo. They cheered. Stephanie said Ambrose would get an F-5, but it meant a Fatal Fiveway match, with Ambrose defending his Intercontinental Championship. If Reigns interfered, then Ambrose would lose his spot in the Fast Lane main event.
The four challengers for Ambrose’s title were Kevin Owens, Stardust (who evidently earned the title shot by losing to Zack Ryder last week), Tyler Breeze (earning the title shot with a .230 winning percentage. Sort of like turning on the TV for the AFC Divisional Playoffs and seeing the Tennessee Titans), and Dolph Ziggler.
Kevin Owens won the Intercontental Championshp by pinning Tyler Breeze in a Fatal Fiveway that included Dean Ambrose (C), Stardust and Dolph Ziggler (12:35)
Owens won the championship by pinning Breeze with a Pop-Up Power Bomb. Very good match. Finishing sequence was Ambrose going for the Dirty Deeds on Stardust, but Ziggler ran in and gave Ambrose the Zig Zag, leaving Stardust laid out. Breeze threw Ziggler out of the ring, but Owens ran in and gave Breeze the finisher. So Ambrose lost the belt without getting pinned. At one point, Owens delivered cannonballs to Ambrose, Ziggler and Stardust, who were laid out in opposite corners. Owens attempted a cannonball on Breeze, who responded with a beauty shot. First half of the match was Ambrose working against a challenger one-on-one while three others rested outside. Owens power bombed Breeze outside the ring onto Ziggler and Stardust. Ambrose followed by teasing finishers with Owens, leading to a tope onto Breeze, Ziggler and Stardust.
Ambrose walked around pissed backstage when Renee Young asked him how frustrated he was. Ambrose said he had nothing left to lose and he would face HHH at WrestleMania, who had everything to lose. Owens asked Young “does that give your goose bumps?”
Owens did an interview with Young. Ziggler walked in and sarcastically congratulated him. Ziggler said there wasn’t a spotlight in the world big enough for the both of them. Ziggler said he had beaten Owens the last two weeks, and said Owens should tell the world he deserved to face him at Fast Lane. Owens declined. Later, it was announced Owens would face Ziggler for the championship.
The New Day came out. They promoted an appearance by Edge and Christian by reviewing the segment they had on Raw last September. There will be an episode of the “Cutting Edge Peep Show” at Fast Lane. Kofi Kingston said you never bring a kazoo to a trombone fight. Big E. said Edge and Christian’s appearance was the worst thing since Coldplay played the halftime of, and Xavier Woods stopped him from saying the Super Bowl. There’s some sort of inside joke at work there because the NFL is very sensitive about it’s copywright of the Super Bowl. They ran down Mark Henry, who walked out on them last week during the main event tables match. Henry came out to face Big E.
Some fans rememberd the Chris Jericho chant of “Rootie, Tootie, Bootie,” but many more chanted “New Day rocks.”
Big E. defeated Mark Henry (4:41)
Weird finish. Big E. got Henry up for the Big Ending, but Henry looked like he was supposed to escape over top of him. Instead, Henry escaped and collapsed, and Big E. simply pinned him. It looked like Henry got hurt legit. Big E. told the referee to check on Henry and looked concerned while Kingston and Woods stayed in character.
Brie Bella was interviewed by Byron Saxton. Fans chanted “Daniel Bryan” since it was only the “Yes” chant that was over two years ago and not Bryan himself. Brie started to answer when Charlotte and Ric Flair came out. More fans were interested in chanting “Whoo” than listening to Charlotte, who said Bryan was in a league of his own. Brie corrected her and said he still is in a league of his own. Charlotte said she would understand if Brie wanted to forfeit her match with Charlotte at Fast Lane to be with her husband. She said Bryan lost everything, his dream, his career. Brie said she didn’t owe Charlotte any explanations, but Bryan supports her 100%. Charlotte said Brie means she supports her and Daniel 100%. She said Brie also took the match because they needed the money. Charlotte asked the crowd if she attacked Bryan personally? Crowd started chanting “Yes.” Charlotte said Brie needed to go home and be with Brie Bella and Bryan. Charlotte said she didn’t need Brie, and neither do the fans. But Nikki and Bryan did.
Brie accused Charlotte of trying to mess with her head. She said Charlotte knew she wasn’t an easy beat. All Charlotte has done is added fuel to her fire and she’s disgusted seeing the champion Charlotte has become. Charlotte told Brie she could only imagine what Brie’s goat-faced vegan babies were going to become. Brie slapped Charlotte over that one, laid in a few Yes kicks and sent Charlotte packing. Charlotte is a good heel promo.
A.J. Styles defeated The Miz via submission (11:49)
A.J. Styles won with the calf crusher. Good, competitive match that Styles did a solid job in carrying the Miz in. Chris Jericho was on commentary, and it was scary how much better he is on color than anyone else in the company. He goes Styles more over in this match than Jerry Lawler, Saxton, JBL put together. Not to be outdone, JBL even brought up Kenta Kobashi in relating how Styles is going from being star in Japan to a star in WWE.
Postmatch, Jericho got in the ring and congratulated Styles, who interrupted him and challenged him to third match at Fast Lane. Jericho said he would give his answer on SmackDown.
The Dudley Boyz came out and teased getting the table, but only did so to tease the fans as part of their heel turn. Bubba Ray Dudley called out the Usos, but said they wouldn’t show up after he and Devon put them through tables last week. Devon Dudley said the Dudleys weren’t some Guns n’ Roses farewell tour or a retro act from the past. They were the baddest tag team on the planet. Bubba said the tables were done forever, and if the fans wanted to see that, go to the WWE Network. Bubba said their legacy would be defined by being 9-time WWE Tag Team champions, not by a piece of furniture. All the chants of “We want tables” would now fall on deaf ears. Well, at least Les Thatcher will cheer them. Bubba said they no longer cared what the fans chanted.
Summer Rae defeated Paige (3:40)
Not many matches on Raw nowadays qualify as really bad, but this one does. Summer Rae mainly did chokes with her legs. She pinned Paige after reversing an attempt at the PTO into a small package. Crowd was asleep.
Paul Heyman did an in-ring promo. Heyman said he wanted to lay down a message on behalf of Lesnar face-to-face to Reigns, who came out to a mixed reaction. Surprising since the last time they win in southern California, he was as over as a top guy as he’s ever been. Heyman said he has the utmost respect for Reigns, but he feels that he can’t get past Lesnar. Heyman said Reigns’ goal is to win at Fast Lane and fight HHH for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania, so he could go to his wife and child with the championship. But Reigns has a huge challenge because not only does Lesnar stand in Reigns’ way, but so does Ambrose. So Reigns has a choice: his daughter or his best friend, a man so close to Reigns, he’s like a brother. There are those who choose friends over family, and those are the ones who wind up in divorce court. There are others who choose family over friendship, and those are the ones who sit alone in the locker room and potentially stand alone as the champion of the world at WrestleMania with fireworks going off over their heads. But that’s the sacrifice you have to make in order to have a chance at the championship Reigns’ want. Heyman said Reigns’s enemy is Lesnar on Sunday night, but so is Ambrose.
Reigns started to speak and got noticeable boos. Reigns thanked Heyman for saying what was on his mind. Reigns said he was willing to pay the price for what he wants. He doesn’t have a problem fighting Ambrose, who he defeated. Reigns said he’s never beaten Lesnar, but he did beat he ass. Reigns said Heyman was right, he had everything on the line. But he was going to win at Fast Lane and then beat HHH at WrestleMania. They shook hands. Heyman had a blowaway promo.
Then the Dudleys came out and jumped Reigns from behind. Reigns tried to make his own comeback, but Bubba Ray hit him with a big boot. Ambrose came out for the save, sending Bubba packing. Reigns hit Devon with a Superman’s punch. Michael Cole broached the subject of Heyman perhaps setting up Reigns for the Dudleys to jump him.
Suddenly, as Ambrose and Reigns shook hands, Ambrose tried to give him Dirty Deeds. Regins escaped. Ambrose told Reigns if he wanted to make it to WrestleMania, he needed to be quicker than that. Reigns smiled at Ambrose and they shook hands again. Crowd booed because they wanted to see the two go at it.
They announced the creation of the Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence Award, which Cole said “would be the most prestigous award the WWE has ever presented.” The recipient would be announced next week.
Social Outcasts did an inset promo comparing themselves to various NBA stars who were members of the Dream Team. Adam Rose said he was Robert Shapiro, which shows somebody on the writing staff watches FX.
Heath Slater defeated Zack Ryder (2:07)
Ryder did a somersault tope onto all members of Social Outcasts. Bo Dallas distracted Ryder, leading to Heath Slater getting the pin with an Implant DDT. I kept waiting for Vince McMahon to show up and interrupt this match.
This week’s horrible R-Truth-Goldust segment took place was set at a restaurant, where Truth was on a date with a woman. Truth told her he would walk through hell in gasoline-dipped underwear for her. Goldust showed up as a waiter. Truth said this wasn’t Table for 3 on the WWE Network. Goldust brought champaign, which Truth said he didn’t order. Goldust said it was on the house. Truth said they weren’t In His House. Goldust said of course not, it wasn’t 1996. Of course, the champaignewound up being spilled on the woman and that was that.
Alberto Del Rio is facing Kalisto in the non-PPV portion of Fast Lane for the U.S. Championship. At this point, I’m firmly convinced Dorian Roldan has been in charge of Del Rio’s booking since he returned to WWE. It’s the biggest waste of money since the Cleveland Browns signed Dwayne Bowe.
Alberto Dio Rio, Sheamus and Rusev defeated Lucha Dragons and Neville (8:49)
Del Rio won with the double stomp off the top rope onto Sin Cara. The League of Nations now firmly in the hunt with the New Blood and Aces and Eights for the “Least Over Top Heel Group in History.” Sheamus is supposed to be the top heel in the company, at least in regards to regular wrestlers, and no one cared about him at all. Not to mention Neville was just an afterthought in this match. As was Rusev. This was a textbook lesson of how not to use what is developed in NXT.
Excellent feature for Black History Month on Booker T, which showed him being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. It’s sad that someone so talented had the top push of his career during WCW in 2000, when the company was the most unwatchable product off all time.
Video posted earlier today showed Tamina and Naomi jumping Becky Lynch, with Naomi giving Lynch a Superkick.
Michelle Beadle was shown at ringside.
League of Nations celebrated in the back when Young interviewed Del Rio, who said Kalisto’s victory was a fluke. Del Rio said Kalisto was lucky and nothing more than a little mosquito. he said he let Kalisto beat him. That’s really putting him over. He challenged Kalisto to a best-of-three falls match at Fast Lane.
Becky Lynch defeated Naomi via submission (2:08)
Lynch won with the Disarm-her. Then came a preposterous moment. Tamina and Naomi jumped Lynch. Naturally, that was built for Sasha Banks to make the save. The only problem was, she came out and walked to the ring. And she stopped to take off her earrings. During the time it took Banks to get in the ring, Lynch had her ass handed to her, complete with Tamina delivering a Samoan Drop. It was like watching the Sandman in ECW make his full ring entrance while Tommy Dreamer needed to be saved. Finally Banks got in there and the ring was cleared.
The Wyatt Family came out. Bray Wyatt said freedom awaits all of you inside his embrace. Freedom from a dying world, because this world was a slave shackled in pretty colors. Wyatt said his followers would walk with him inside the fires of the apocolypse. He offers everyone paradise, and all he asks in return is for everyone to bow to him. Wyatt said the fans have to make a decision, or he will have to make a choice for them. Just like he made a choice for Kane, for Ryback and just like the choice the Big Show will have to make against the Big Show right now.
The Big Show defeated Braun Strowman by DQ (2:29)
Erick Rowan and Luke Harper ran in for the DQ. If you’re trying to make Strowman the next monster heel, I don’t think having him take a vertical suplex from the Big Show is the way to do it. He shouldn’t leave his feet until WrestleMania. But there he was, taking the suplex before the run-in.
Postmatch, Ryback ran down for the save and speared Harper. The numbers quickly caught up to him. Then, of course, Kane came up through the ring for the save. He and Show gave Harper a double choke slam.
SUMMARY: Where are the heels? People were asking that question in November when Seth Rollins went down. Now it’s mid-February, and there’s still no answer. In fact, it’s only gotten worse. They’ve tried Sheamus. No one cares. They’ve tried Del Rio, who would have been better off as a babyface coming in. Instead, they stuck him with Zeb Coulter in a pairing that went nowhere, now they’ve shifted him to a heel group that’s going nowhere. It doesn’t help the pattern of sameness this company has fallen into that they keep resorting to Kane as a savior when his act grew tiresome years ago. The best program in the company right now is Jericho-Styles, with Jericho doing a great job of playing a Bret Hart-style subtle heel. On the bright side, the two segments building up the main event for Fast Lane were very good tonight.
Classic Miz promo about getting his tooth knocked out by AJ, AJ comes out and beats him in a really good match with near falls, winning with the Calf Crusher. AJ got biggest pop of night.
Social Outcasts (Adam Rose and Heath Slater) vs. Dudley Boys
Dudleys as faces win with a 3D
Baron Corbin vs. Fandango vs. Viktor of The Ascension
Corbin got an ‘NXT’ change. Fandango was the face. Corbin won.
Luke Harper and Erick Rowan vs. Neville and Kane
Kane hits Harper with the chokeslam and then tags Nevile who hit the Red Arrow for the pin.
Sasha Banks & Natalya & Becky Lynch vs. Team BAD and Cameron
Cameron fit in well with Tamina and Naomi. Becky and Sasha were even in popularity. Sasha pulled out the Banks Statement and Naomi tapped out.
Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
Lucha Dragons got a huge pop as usual and won a good match with the Matadores.
Chris Jericho vs Bray Wyatt (w/Braun Strowman)
Back and forth match the whole time and Jericho really performed great. Jericho got in the Walls of Jericho and hit a Lionsault. Strowman tried to distract Jericho on the apron, but Jericho sidestepped a charging Wyatt, sending him into Strowman and then hit a Codebreaker for the pin and win.
Heath Slater w/ Curtis Axel and Adam Rose def. Zack Ryder via pinfall
I had feared that this week’s Main Event would be a write-off, given the light crew that the WWE took to the Smackdown tapings. This opening contest did absolutely nothing to dispel that fear, notwithstanding a fine effort from Ryder.
Jerry Lawler shocks me with his powers of recall by reminding us that Zack once “made a reputation out of social media”, referring to his spell as the self-proclaimed “Internet champion”. Rich Brennan, on the other hand, is the “Waffle House champion” apparently.
Ryder benefits from the goodwill of a fresh crowd at the beginning of the match, managing to get himself a pretty loud “Woo! Woo! Woo!” chant going. Then, the stalling begins, as these guys figure out a way to fill the 15 minutes they’ve been allotted; Slater twice rolling out of the ring to go on celebratory Bo Train (sans Bo) victory laps in the opening minutes.
Typical idiotic babyface booking in this one, as Ryder unnecessarily concerns himself with the dual “distraction” of “Axel Rose” on the outside, to his own detriment. He takes a big bump off the ropes to the floor before the mid-match commercial break, when Rose’s mere presence gives him the yips and allows Slater to push him off.
Slater’s heat shows why anyone wondering why this guy hasn’t been elevated above the role of comedy jobber needs their head examined. He has always been awful on offence and has unquestionably regressed in that regard in the last couple of years. Two godawfully long headlock segments here prove my point.
More hard work from Ryder during his comeback sees him hit a slingshot splash from the apron. A Rich Brennan flub follows, as the announcer erroneously reckons that Axel was responsible for pulling Slater out of the way of the Broski Boot. He wasn’t.
Tope con hilo from Ryder takes out the other two geeks on the outside. But, upon re-entry, he gets a kick in the gut and an Impaler DDT to punish his stupidity. I’d love to know when Slater last won a televised match with that move. Answers on a postcard, please.
– Recap of the Reigns/Ambrose/Lesnar interactions from RAW. I couldn’t possibly care less about any of this, as the storyline rationale for the match makes absolutely no sense. That backstage face-to-face between HHH and Lesnar from RAW two weeks ago tells you all you need to know about why that is the case. I can 100% guarantee that no other heel in the company would have been written to no-sell the threat of Brock (the man who broke his arm in kayfabe) in that manner. All we need now is for the egomaniac to don the bicycle shorts and pin Reigns at ‘Mania. Because, you know, the money is in the chase with Roman. Like it was with Goldberg.
Natalya def. Alicia Fox via submission
Alicia Fox worked heel here, continuing the Big Show-esque face/heel oscillations of Team Bella. She also appears to have reverted to her “crazy” gimmick, which was hinted at on RAW when she screamed the house down after her loss to Charlotte.
This contest ran a little bit longer than the second match usually does, at five minutes. It was notable only for the return of the catchphrase that defined an era, as Lawler responds to Brennan’s reference to Nattie’s cat-fancying with the revelation that Foxy, like him “prefers puppies!”. “Oh no…” says a despairing Brennan.
The finish saw Nattie roll-through off a sunset flip attempt to secure the Sharpshooter for the submission victory. Fox refused to accept a handshake in the aftermath, opting to storm off instead. Nattie did the universally-accepted gesture for “she’s crazy”, to which Fox shouted back “You’re crazy!”. Good comeback.
– Video aired of Bryan’s incredible retirement speech from Monday night, spliced with sections of the wonderful retrospective video that preceded it. I highly doubt that the man will read this, but I’d nonetheless like to express my “gratitude” to the wrestler who made me fall in love with the product all over again four years ago. I returned in early 2012 for The Rock, but stayed for Bryan’s heel character, watching as the “Yes!” chant built momentum leading into the unfortunate (but ultimately career-making) events of Wrestlemania 28. He has rightly removed himself from the fray all too soon, to safeguard his health. But we will always have that wonderful moment when he reached the top of tree two years ago. The very best to him in whatever endeavours he chooses to pursue going forward.
Mark Henry and Darren Young def. Fandango and Damien Sandow via pinfall
An unusually brief featured contest, clocking in at only five minutes and most notable for the return to WWE television of one Damien Sandow – complete with robe and “Hallelujah!” theme.
Despite an apparent return to the Intellectual Saviour gimmick (complete with shouting “You’re Welcome!” after an early headlock takeover), Sandow is clearly positioned as a babyface. Which is weird. The goal here appears to be the rekindling of the dynamic Sandow had with The Miz, as he trades “boo/yay” poses with Fandango before the match begins.
This tension continues throughout the match, with Fandango blind-tagging himself in, before teasing the fans with faked attempts to bring his partner back into the action. This has the desired effect, prompting the now long-forgotten “We Want Sandow!” chants to ring out around the arena.
Sandow eventually loses his patience and tags himself in, hitting a side russian leg sweep on Young. But, before he can follow up with the ol’ Elbow of Disdain, Fandango again enacts an unwanted tag to cut him off.
The two then bicker near the ropes, which allows Young to push Fandango into Sandow and crawl to hot-tag Mark Henry. The finish arrives quickly from there, with Henry catching Fandango off a second-rope cross body attempt. World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin.
Final Thoughts
The company may have worked wonders with a depleted roster on Smackdown, but the knock-on effect on its sister show was not pretty. Nobody needs to see a 15 minute match between Heath Slater and Zack Ryder, regardless of how hard the latter tried to make it watchable. However, it was interesting to see Sandow make a rare televised appearance. Revisiting the heel/face tag-team dynamic that he had with The Miz may have potential, but I’m not sure Fandango is the correct foil. Meanwhile, Lawler’s heel metamorphosis continues, as he resurrects his Divas obsession and that long-lost buzzword, “puppies!”.
From the Armory with estimated 150 in attendance. Good crowd tonight.
Hugo Knox beat Sawyer Fulton
A lot of kids were cheering for Hugo tonight with his dancing and party boy style. Sawyer was out with longer hair and a skunk trail. March was mostly Fulton wearing Hugo down until some flashy moves by Knox, a big dropkick and winning with a sunset flip.
Carmella beat Peyton Royce
The usual antics of these two with some comedy where Carmella took Peyton’s flower and moonwalked away from her. Carmella won with her STO and leg headlock for the submission.
Elias Samson beat Tucker Knight
Samson was out to sing a song about how he started in Palatka and how he wants to leave this crappy town. Knight entered to his live event fans singing songs for him about his silver boots. Samson was annoyed with people other than him singing so he was heckled with Drift Away chants. Finish saw Elias use the ropes to cheat and steal the pin.
Apollo Crews beat Alex Riley
This was a very good match where crowd was split. Dueling chants and pockets of fans cheering for both. Riley was on top of his game tonight, responding to hecklers with “I main evented WrestleMania 27!”. Was all Riley early, even connected on a superkick for a strong near fall late. Apollo fought back, fired up and hit his big slam for the win. Post match Riley asked for a handshake, Apollo accepted and Riley also raised Crews’ arm.
Enzo Amore & Big Cass beat The Vaudevillains
Vaudevillains enter first with their new/old heel music, Enzo and Cass received the largest reaction thus far and do their usual mic work. The heels worked over Cass a lot in this one so we got a chance to see an Enzo Amore firey comeback. He ran wild with a lot of running and knock down moves, was able to get Cass back in to finish the Vauds off before Enzo got the assisted splash for the win.
Levis Valenzuela beat Angelo Dawkins
Dawkins controlled most of the match and talked a lot of smack to no one in particular. Crowd was not familiar with Valenzuela so they weren’t sure how to react. Levis waged his come back and hit the wind up punch for the win.
– In ring promo with Manny Andrade who, in Spanish, says he wants to be the NXT champion someday.
NXT Women’s Champion Bayley beat Liv Morgan to retain
A clean wrestling match between the two friends. The kids in the crowd were starting their own Bayley chants and overall, the crowd was very into Bayley’s offense. Liv had some athletic moves of her own including the Matrix and some roll through pin attempts. Finish saw a Belly To Bayley for the pin followed by Bayley embracing Liv in a show of sportswomanship.
NXT Tag Team Champions Dash & Dawson beat The Hype Bros to retain
The people were, in fact, hype for this match. Dash & Dawson were taunting fans at ringside with Mojo then putting the fans over. Classic heel work by the champions cutting off the ring and keeping Mojo and later Zack isolated. A big comeback by the hypes including a Broski Boot and an attempted Hype Ryder before the champions stole the pin with a roll up on Mojo while Zack was tied up in the ropes.
